.we'll be okay.

.41.

"BILLIE WAKE UUUUUUUUUUP IT'S CHRISTMAS," I yell as I jump all over Billie while she sleeps. "BILLLLLLIEEEEEEEEE,". Last night was great we watched The Christmas Switch over and over it was amazing. I could tell Billie didn't like it but she was pretending which was fine with me.

"You're a bitch you know that," Billie opened her eyes slowly and groaned.

"Your bitch,"

"My bitch," She confirmed as she kissed me slowly. I pulled away excitedly and jumped on top of her again.

"IT'S CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSS,"

------

" OH MY GOSH AUNT KATE YOU WOULD NEVER," I yelled as I opened a box to reveal a video camera.

"I did,"

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," I ran over and squeezed her into a hug.

" jeez you don't have to squeeze me so tight you're welcome," she coughs out.

" baby it's my turn now," Billie says excitedly as she runs upstairs to my room and comes back back down in the next thirty seconds. She places a big black box in front of me and sit back down on the couch grinning. " go ahead, open it,". I lifted the top of the box and saw I gigantic bag of sour patch kids and one of her beanies. I pulled the tissue paper out to reveal what looked like a photo album. I gasp as I open it up, seeing pictures of billie and ranging from when we were babies to now. As I flipped the pages I quickly realized that it wasn't just Billie and I. It was everyone. There were also some pictures of me that looked like they were from far away.

"Billie where'd you get these,"

"Um I took those," There were some really nice ones like me standing and enjoying the sunlight or me sitting in the rain at school. Yeah, my mental health wasn't in the best state at that time. Sitting in the rain at lunch became my thing. Hannah wouldn't sit with me if it was raining, instead she'd sit with her other more popular friends.

"Billie you're a fucking creep but these pictures are amazing. You're so talented,"

She blushed and kissed my hand. "Thanks love. I have something else for you but its for later," She winked at me. I widened my eyes.

"That's such a nice gift I wonder what Parks got for me," Blaire glared at Parker.

"Um mines for later too," He smirked.

"Mhm yeah right. What you gonna give her? Your shrimp dick?"

"Hey don't throw your brother under the bus like that." Aunt Kate laughs at us. "Hey Blaire, you wanna know a funny story about Parker when he was little,"

---

"Baby, baby, babyyyyyyy," Billie whined and while doing so making me mess up my makeup.

"WHAT BILLIE WHAT I'm TRYING to get ready to go to YOUR house so I can look GOOD for your PARENTS AND YOU WON'T LET ME BE," I threw my hands up in the air and sighed loudly.

"Would you like me to relieve some of your stress,"

"Ugh there is no way you could relieve my stress,"

"Well there is one way,"

"No Billie I won't let you massage the fuck outta my back,"

"dang it," She laid back down on the bed and frowned. This is the best my makeup is gonna get.

"All right Billie I'm done let's bounce,"

"Finally,"

---

"this is some of the best food I've ever tasted. thanks Finneas,"

"yeah no problem,"

"I'm actually surprised this shit is good everyone knows the asshat can't cook,"

"Billie seriously," Maggie rolls her eyes at her daughter.

"Ok um pen and I will be upstairs doing absolutely nothing so don't interrupt us. Ok bye," She grabs my hand a pulls me up stairs to her room, turning on the red light, closing the door and pushing me on the bed.

"what the fuck-"

"you look hot tonight,"

"ok and,"

"we should ya know,"

"no billie. is this what you meant by stress relief before? you horny little girl. you tryna catch a case or something,"

"it's not a case," she said sadly. I laughed at her.

"maybe at Kaylee's party that we probably shouldn't go to-"

"who said we were going to that-"

"we can sneak off and fuck in the bathroom or something,"

"wow you never used to be like this,"

"yeah well people change but for now lets just watch gossip girl,"

--- december 26, 2019---

"WISH YOU'D GET OUT MY FACE. MIGHT GO MIA. MIGHT JUST BLOW MY BRAIN. RIP KURT COBAIN," Billie and I spent the night last night at her house and now we're with our friends doing the gift exchange thing. Lizzie got me and she bought me this adorable blanket and that giant bag of sour patch kids from five below. The universe really decided to like me this year because I got Billie and I have the perfect idea for us both. "I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE, I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE, I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE, I CAN'T FEEL MY FAAAAACEEEE,"

"I WISH Y'ALL WOULD FIND YOUR FUCKING CHILL. YOU BEEN SCREAMING THIS SONG FOR THE PAST 30 MINUTES, YEAH IT'S A GREAT SONG TO LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'RE HIGH BUT I'M NOT HIGH BECAUSE Y'ALL SMOKED ALL MY FUCKING WEED," Del screamed at Bil, Corey, Marley, Alyssa, Parker, Holly, Trey, Vereena and I who were screaming the lyrics to Wish.

"Del chill out we can just get some more,"

"No, I can get some more. you need to slow down," Del says to me while pulling the bottle of vodka out of my hand and handing me a bottle of water to drink instead.

"But i wanted that," I whined sliding my self onto her lap.

"And I wanted my weed but we don't all get what we want do we," She pushes me off her lap and stands up. "Violeta, Michael and Blaire? Yall think you can handle them for a bit while Lindsey and I go get some more weed,"

"You said who getting some weed," Lindsey looked around.

"You bitch now come on,". Del grabbed her arm and dragged her out the front door of Jax and Violeta's house. As soon as they left Violeta turned the music off.

"I have a wonderful activity for us. How about we all come down from the tables and learn some tiktok dances,"

----

By 10 pm my high was wearing down and since I barely got to drink any vodka before Del snatched it from me, I wasn't really drunk.

"Hey Billie," I whispered. We were all watching a movie and Billie and I were cuddled together on the loveseat.

"yeah," She turned her head towards me.

"We're leaving tomorrow," She at up and looked at me.

"Why whats wrong,"

"Nothing I just rented out a cabin so we could spend new years together,"

"REALLY," She yelled in my ear and winced.

"Shut the FUCK up Billie," Del yelled. Wow she's been really cranky all day.

"Sorry. really," she whispered smiling at me. I nodded. "That's great but right now I'm super tired and I just wanna sleep and you're super comfy so goodn- but wait aren't we going to Kaylee's new years party,"

"Nah I just said that so you wouldn't make any plans,"

"Ah ok goodnight," she laid her head back on my chest and fell asleep.