.we'll be okay.

.43.

-January 7 2020-

School starts again tomorrow and today is Vereena's funeral. I asked Del if she's gonna come. She said probably not. And Victoria won't answer anyone's calls or texts so I don't know how shes doing. I pull my dark blue dress on and zip it up. I never wear black at funerals. I feel like someone needs to be the positive one. Today that someone is going to be me.

"Are you ready?" Aunt Kate asks as she puts on her coat and grabs her car keys.

"Yeah," We walk out to the car and I turn to Aunt Kate "I didn't really know her. Is it ok that I'm not super sad. I feel like I should be crying or something. She was family,"

"It's ok not to cry Penelope," She started the car and turned on some music, signaling the end of our converstation.

-----

Del didn't end up coming and now Billie and I were on a date at her house that she's been had planned for us for a while.

"I thought it would be a good time since, you know, everyones sad and everything," She looked at me. Billie is so adorably soft. Who let her believe she was a bad bitch. "Actually now that I think about it that makes no sense. Why would we go one a date if everyone is sad?" She wrinkles her eyebrows in confusion.

"You're fine baby. Now are we gonna try and put this telescope together, before it get's dark or not?"

"Yeah let's start," She said and opened the box. I pulled the instructions out and stared at them for a good five minutes like it was gonna make sense it I just stared at it.

"Billie don't you think it would've been better if we would've just got one thats already put together,"

"See, I thought about that then I was like wouldn't it be fun if we tried to put one together," She looked at me.

"Billie really you know good and well your ass doesn't ever put shit together,"

"Yeah I know but this looked kinda cool,"

"Nerdy ass,"

"Fine ass," Billie smirked at me.

"You win,"

"I know,"

"But I still don't want to put this together wanna watch a movie or something,"

"As long as it's not To All The Boys I've Loved Before,"

"Fine we can watch Bird Box or something,"

"I don't wanna watch the complete waste of a moive either,"

"Damn you're just judging everything today aren't you. You wanna go to the store and buy some stuff to make ice cream sundaes and you can vlog and we can come home and do that homework that we didn't do over break?"

"Sounds like you have it all figured out so who am I to say no,"

----

"Who decided that Precalc should be a thing?" Billie complained, just like she always did while we were doing homework. She had already tried to make the argument that we didn't have to do it because school was closed. As you can guess, I shut that down real quick.

"Billie please stop complaining," Billie was still vloging but I was getting really irritated and I know that even the dumbest person watching that vlog would be able to tell that I wasn't really feeling it anymore.

"Can we quit with the pre calc and do something fun?". I sighed and rolled my eyes at her.

"please billie please,". She suddenly looked mad.