.we'll be okay.

.45.

January 13, 2020

"Penelope? What are you doing here are you ok," Robyn asks me as she pulls me into her arms. She rubs my back as she comforts me and more tears stream down my face.

"I miss her so much," I whispered so softly that I don't even know if she could hear it.

"I know baby. I miss her too," She pulled away from me and wiped the tears from my eyes. "We can talk if you want. I know I'm not you real mom but-"

"That's ok. I just needed to talk to someone who understands,"

"Parker was her kid too,"

"I know but he didn't know that was his mom and you loved her right?"

"Yes, I did," She sighs. "I was just about to eat some ice cream and watch a movie wanna join?" I look around at the her house. It wasn't very big but there's only one of her living here so I guess it was ok.

"Yeah I'll join. Do you have a guest bedroom or something? I don't really want to go home or to school tomorrow. And I know if I go to my house Aunt Kate will come over and wake me up," Robyn laughs and shakes her head.

"There's a guest room across the hall from mine. All I ask is that you don't sneak Billie in,"

"That won't be a problem. I promise,"

"Ok I'll get the ice cream you head over to the living room and make yourself comfortable,". I head in the direction that I think the living room is and find an office with a desk and pictures of my mom and Robyn everywhere. It was hella creepy but also kinda cute. I move on and pass a dining room, bathroom and eventually find myself in the living room. I take my coat off, hang it up on a chair and sit on the couch. From the outside this house actually looks really small but from the inside it looks way bigger than you would think. The ceilings are high and the walls are light grey making it look way bigger than it actually is. HGTV really got me thinking like this. Wow. I should definitely be a designer. "Penelope I'm back," I turn my head and Robyn is coming in with 2 tubs of ice cream.

"You want me to eat it out of the carton?"

"I mean that's what I'll be doing so yep," I shrugged my shoulders and took the cookies and cream ice cream from her hands.

"How'd you know this was my favorite?"

"Your mother told me," I must've made some facial expression because she looked at me with surprise. "Charlotte knew a lot about you. Despite how much she drinked and didn't care for her body, she knew you as a person. Parker too. She was trying to get sober enough so that she could tell you that you and Parker were twins and she could throw out those notes that she had written," She looks back at my face again. "She loved you a lot,"

"I know," And this time I didn't have to convince myself.

"Why did she kill herself if she was trying to get sober for us," Robyn took a shaky breath. I had completely forgotten this had been hard on her too.

"She um she was having a lot of flashbacks from her past. Things that she saw as child that she wasn't supposed to see. Things that she wanted to kill herself over before but decided against it," Evelynn was the first person that came to mind

"Can I tell you something and you won't look at me crazy," She nods her head. "I think Evelynn killed Vereena and I might sound crazy but-"

"I wouldn't put it past her,"

"Wait what," I whip my head around to face Robyn once again and she nods at me.

"She's done some crazy shit in the past. Your mother told me that she was abusive and had a mental disorder. She did something to anyone who found about about something she did and your mother knew what she had done. She said she didn't tell me so she wouldn't come after me,"

"Why in the actual fuck are you just now telling me this,"

"I- I don't know why,". I sighed and shook my head at her words. "We need to stop talking about this before she finds out,"

"what,"

"She's fucking crazy Penelope, we have to be careful," Then we heard a few knocks at the door. I jumped and Robyn looked at me with her eyes wide. "Stay right there," She grabs a baseball bat -typical i know- and walks out of my sight. I don't say anything for fear of being killed and wait until I hear her first. "Billie? What are you doing here?" I sighed and started walking in the direction I came from when I first got here.

"I um Penelope left my house and I didn't know where she was. Then I just happened to go down this street and I saw her car in the driveway,"

"You are one creepy motherfucker," Robyn jumps and looks at me.

"You can't do that after the conversation we just had. God Penelope,"

"What are you talking about," Billie asks looking back and forth between us.

"If you tell her it'll put her at risk also,"

"Put me at risk of what?" I looked at Billie, then turned my head to robyn and nodded.

"Come on my room is soundproof," Robyn says leading us to her room.

"Ew there was no need to tell me that," I cringed and Robyn laughed at my antics. She closed the door and turned the light on revealing a huge dark Victorian themed room. So it basically looked like a vampire should live there. "Woah this room is fucking cool,"

"I know. Ok so Billie. Um basically Evelynn is crazy and mental and was abusive to Charlotte when she was alive. And Charlotte kil- died because of some trauma that happened in the past. Also she's done some crazy shit in the past" Billie looked at me.

"So you think she killed Vereena,"

"I said it was a possibility she's done things to people who know what she's done," Billie's eyes widen.

"So that's what you meant about risk," Robyn and I nod our heads. Billie sighs and runs her hands through her hair. "I really don't feel comfortable going out now," I look at my phone.

"It's seven. I was gonna spend the night. Billie you can stay with me if that's fine with Robyn,"

"Yeah it's fine just don't have sex in my guest bed,"

"We won't," Not that I'll ever tell Billie but I was coming here not only to talk with Robyn about my mom but to get away from her also. I hate hurting the people I love's feelings.

"Alright I'm going to put the ice cream away. The guest bedroom is right across the hall,"

"Thanks," I get up off the corner of the bed where I was sitting and walk to the room with Billie trailing behind me. This room was a lighter shade of grey instead of black but the sheets on the bed were still a deep red color. "You can cuddle me. Nothing else." I say to Billie while slipping my jeans off and jumping in the bed. She half smiles and slides in the bed with nothing but a gigantic t-shirt and underwear on. We had a moment of awkward silence before I decided to break it. "Sorry for yelling at you earlier,"

"It's ok. I just wish you would tell me when somethings going on. I've known you for too long. I know when you're not ok," I turn around to face her.

"I just- I don't know I like to keep my feelings inside."

"I know baby, but a relationship is built on trust and communication. I need you to trust me enough to talk to me,"

"I do trust you-"

"No you don't. But that's ok we'll work on that and we'll be ok. ok?"

"Yeah ok," I turn back to face the wall while she wraps her arm around my waist pulling me closer and kisses the back of my neck.

"I love you Penelope and we'll work all of this out ok. I promise," She whispers.

I fall asleep with the words 'I promise' stuck in my head.