.we'll be okay.

.44.

--January 13, 2020--
--Penelope's POV--

My weekend has been full of frantic planning and speed talking. Since I was procrastinating with absolutely everything, Lindsey's birthday plans weren't put together and Billie has been bugging me about talking to her. And mid finals are in a couple weeks. I have so much on my plate right now and I feel like us taking a break was much needed. I'm not spending every minute thinking about her- wait that's a lie. I have been spending every moment thinking about her but at least I'm not doing something about it and instead resisting my urges to go to her. Although that's been getting easier and easier now that Tilly was around.

"Hey Penelope wake your ass up Ms. Kay is talking about you and she-who-shall-not-be-named," Tilly whispers loudly as she taps my shoulder. I lifted my head up off the desk and flipped her off. I looked over at Billie who was giving me a sad expression because I switched seats.

"Billie and Penelope are on a break right now obviously but if you talk to them about one another you will see that their eyes are sparkling," I blushed and looked away from Billie's intense stare. "But also their star signs are not compatible which may cause some differences that they can't equal out because Geminis weren't supposed to be with Sagittarius. Although one of the most compatible signs for sexual encounters for a Gemini is Sagittarius-"

"Which is why she always had a great time while we were fucking,"

"BILLIE," I yell while covering my face with my hands. She wasn't the only one to blame though I'll talk to Ms Kay later. It's not necessarily weird of her she's like my mother but there's a time and a place.

"Damn this class gets crazier everyday," Del leans back in her seat, which is now next to Billie's and blows out the smoke from her breeze . She knows it's bad for her and she doesn't care so I can't help her. What I fail to understand is how Ms Kay catches everything I do but nothing she does. Disregarding that, now I have to talk to Billie about saying inappropriate shit or else we'll never get off this break.

"Ok um I'm sorry that wasn't appropriate," Ms Kay stammers around. "Just do whatever you want," I looked at my phone.

"We have 30 minutes left. What you wanna do Tilly?"

"Um fuck?". I laugh loudly and pull her out of her seat. "Wait are we actually gonna fuck?" I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room.

"No we aren't gonna fuck," I spoke in harsh whispers. "I'm trying to make she-who-shall-not-be-named, jealous,"

"OOOOOOH you sneaky bitch how dare you use me as bait," She lightly hits my arm.

"no I'm not- ok fine sorry," Billie bursts out of the classroom and looks at me smiling. Then she sees Tilly's hand on my arm and frowns. "You good B,"

"Yeah um, I just wanted to say sorry for what I said in there. It was outta pocket, I know," I laugh at her.

"Billie I don't really give a damn. As long as you don't tell any lies we're fine,"

"Really?"

"yeah,"

"So we're not on break anymore?"

"Um well we've only been on break for a good 4 days so maybe we should give it a week,". I say sarcastically. This was HER idea. Tilly takes her hand off of my arm, folds her arms and looks at me. "What,"

"You know you wanna be with her I don't get why you a lyin ass bitch. 'maybe we should give it a week' my ass," She goes back into the classroom and leave Billie staring at me with a satisfied grin on her face.

"The fuck are you looking at?"

"You,"

"Well look away. Just because Mahtilda said something doesn't mean anything," She moves close and pushes my face up to level hers.

"I think it does," and in an instant her lips are against mine and we're making out in the hallway. Rebellious right? I've always wanted to be one of those edgy kids that smokes in the bathrooms and kisses in front of teachers and has sex in the classro- "What the fuck are you thinking so hard about?" Billie pulls away from me and looks into my eyes.

"What,"

"You have that one face. You know that one where you're thinking super hard about something," I shake my head no. "Ok whatever I'm going back in are you coming," She asks holding her hand out to me. I grab it and respond back to her.

"I'd follow you anywhere,"

---

We were Billie's house now. I never said we were off break but I think that's what we're both gonna agree on.

"Penelope honey are you going to eat?" I snapped out of my daze and looked at the plate in front of me and Billie next to me.

"Yeah um sorry. I kinda zoned out," Claudia smiled sadly at me from across the table.

"Are you okay?" Billie asks me softly.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm fine," Actually I was starting to not feel fine and I don't know why. I've been taking my meds so I should be fine.

"Are you sure?" Billie asks again.

"YES I'M FUCKING FINE WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT," I get up from the table and run out of the house in anger and embarrassment from snapping at Billie in front of her parents. I hear footsteps following me.

"Pen wait up," Claudia calls after me. I turn around to face her.

"What do you want?" My voice cracks as tears start to stream down my face.

"I want to talk to you. Tell me what's going on. Is it something about Vereena or your mom?"

"I miss my mom," As I said what I thought was going to be a lie, I realized it was true. I do miss her. A lot. And seeing Billie and her family together always reminded me. Claudia reaches her arms around me and hugs me. I appreciate people that don't always have to say something back, it comforts me. I pulled away from her and saw Billie standing at the door. "I don't really want to talk to Bil right now could you tell her that I'm not mad at her and that I love her please. I don't want her to be mad at me. Also tell Maggie and Patrick I said thanks for dinner and that I'll probably call them later,"

Claudia nodded her head at me. "Yeah ok I will. Call me if you need anything. I'll see you later," She waved at me as she started walking back in the house and I was walking towards my car. I got in my car and started driving. Where to? I don't fucking know I was just driving but as I was driving through the houses I came upon on particular house that I recognized. I looked at my clock. 6:15. Ok good I could be here for a couple of hours. I got out of my car and went up to the front door. After what felt like hours, I took a breath and rang the doorbell.