I Love You But I Think I Need Him Too

Give it time

Puck pov

"i don't know what to feel. I'm confused." he says not really eating. "look I'm going to tell you like this. Give it time. She is pissed about what happen. Not necessarily at you but at herself. Don't take it seriously. She just in denial about it all. She just has to process it. As you do too. Maybe just taking a break I know you just got back together but it's for the good of both of you." he half-smiles but has a sad look. I reach in my pocket and take the ring out. I hand it to him and he grabs it and looks at it. "she promised she would never take it off." he shakes his head and puts it away. "im gonna go visit my girls. Maybe take my mind off what's going on. Since she doesn't want me around right now." agree with him.

We eat our food and go back to the hospital and he waits outside for the doctor. I go in and she is sitting on the couch with normal clothes on. "what are doing sitting there?" I ask her. "can we leave now? The doctor said it was okay. He gave me my papers. He said I had to wait for someone to take me home." I check them and it's discharge papers and it's signed. "um okay lets go I guess. You think you can handle it or do.you need help?" she gets up and holds her side stomach and sighs sharply at her pain. I help her and we walkout. Finn sees us and frowns. He comes to me and I show him the papers. He reads them as we walk away. He sees the doctor and go talks to him.

We leave the doctor and he hails a cab. We get in and it's an awkward silence. We get home and I help her in. She lays on the couch and holds her side. Finn just stares at her sadly. She tries to get up and cries in pain. He runs to her and tries to help. She wipes her tears and let's out a sharp breath. "im fine, I'm fine." she tells him and he backs up. "i can help you. I won't do anything but help." he tells her and she tries to move and holds her side again. "why does it hurt so much?" she lifts her shirt and her ribs, stomach and whole right side is black and blue. "oh shit damn" I say in disbelief. Finn doesn't say anything but gets up and walks past me and I see his eyes tear up and he goes in The room. "i look disgusting. Is this how it's gonna look from now on?" she says looking at her self in the mirror. "for a few days but it will slowly fade away. Don't worry you still look amazing." I say and she half-smiles at me.

I excuse myself and go check on Finn. "bro you okay?" I close the door. "how can this happen? Why do I always have to deal with heartbreaking? Did you see her? That's not normal. I can't imagine what pain she is going through. That's my girl. I rather have that happen to me than her. It's hard to see." he plays with the ring.

"i rather have it happen to me than both of you. I love you guys and never want you guys to get hurt. But things happen and there's nothing we can do but get through it together. We all she got and we have to be there how much she pushed us away deep down she wants us there." I say and put his back and walk away.

I walk in the living room and I see her leaning down on her dads ashes hugging and crying her eyes out. Finn walks behind me and sees her too and was going to got comfort her but I stop him and we quietly go back in the room.
"she needs this. She need to get all her crying out for her to accept it. She needs to grief. If not she will be pissed about it and holding a grudge. Let's give her time." I say and he agrees.

We stay in our room and I play with my guitar and he leans back on the couch near the window and works on papers. The door opens and she walks in " can you go get my pills please?" she tells me in pain. I put my guitar down and agree. She thanks me and goes back to the living room. "keep an eye out
I'll be back." I tell finn and he agrees.

Finn pov

I put my papers away and slowly go to where she is. She quietly crying in pain and I see her holding her side. I go to the kitchen and grab some ice and a towel. Making my way to her and she sees me. "why does it hurt so much?" she sobs. "let me put this on. It will help while he comes back." she agrees and lifts her shirt and seeing her bruised purple and black skin makes me a little lightheaded But I suck it up and slowly place it and she gasp at the touch. "the medicine from the hospital out your system so you can feel it more. But the pills will help." I say and she wipes her tears. "im sorry for being a bitch. I know your heartbroken too. I'm just so mad at myself. I should of stayed here. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I killed our baby." she sobs again and I can't help but cry too. "its not your fault. Don't say that. We can work it out. But don't blame yourself. We can always have another one later in life." I say and she shakes her head. "i can't. I can't do this again. I'm so scared I could lose it too. I can't this to myself again. I don't want to have any more. I can be there for your girls but I can't have anymore. It terrifies me." she says and I don't know what to say. "ill support you. If you don't want to have anymore I understand. I just want to be with you. And I know you feel the same but I will be patient and wait until your ready. I love you so much and it hurts so much to see you in pain. I'm sorry this happen." I tell her and she half smiles and places her hand on my cheek. "your amazing. Your truly are. But everytime we are together it seems like trouble follows. And when we are not everything is happy. Maybe it's the universe trying to tell us maybe we are not meant to be. We were great and then we engaged and pregnant and then this. It's a pattern. We will be good then it all comes crashing down. Do we want to leave like that ?" she tells me and I think about it and agree. "but I love you. And if that's the price I have to pay I will. I will burn in hell if I had too. I would run through pin and needles for you. Your my soulmate." she pulls me close and kisses me. I do the same and reach for her closer and she gasp in pain. "im sorry I'm so sorry." I say concerned. "see this what I'm talking about. Something always goes bad. Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore. Maybe being friends is the only way we can stay near without us getting hurt." she tells me and I don't want to accept it. "i don't think I can do that. You mean to much to me that I don't think I can live with you not by my side. I know and understand what you mean but I.cant just be your friends and not want more." She thinks about it and puck walks in with her medicine. He opens it and give her the pill with a water. I get up and grab some more ice.

After a while, she falls asleep. We watching the game quietly and I caress her hair. "did you guys talk?" he ask and I agree. "she thinks we shouldn't be together anymore. She feels like everytime we are together something bad happens too. She doesn't want to jinx it. But I can't do that. I can't just be her friend and not want more. I just can't." he scoffs. "shit why not? I do it every day." I laugh and agree. "well I don't want to be like you." we both laugh and watch the game.

"dad where are you doing? That's my baby. No, bring him back. He is mine." she cries out in her dream. I wipe her tears and hold her close. It's a boy? The baby was a boy. I feel a knot in my stomach and try to keep my calm. I knew it was a boy. I stare at her and caress her face. Please don't leave me. We get tired and I decided to stay there with her as her head is on my thigh. "ill be in the room. Let me know if you need anything. "can you turn the fireplace on please." he agrees and turns it on and hands me a extra blanket and the remote control for the tv. I thank him and he pits a blanket on her and caress her head. "alright good night. I'll leave the door open." I nod and he walks away.

It feels good to have her herewith me but it hurts that she not my fiance anymore. "i love you Rachel. You mean the world to me. I will never leave you alone." I say out loud.