Safe With You

19. Recovering.

Aly's POV

We get home and I change into new clothes, by the time I finally calmed down and unpacked, we were both extremely tired. So we both shower, put on our pajamas, and crawl in bed together.

I prop myself up with my elbows on the pillow, my front facing the headboard, looking down and sideways at Hunter, and his head's laying his pillow as he is looking up at me.

"You know you can tell me the truth," he says. "about what happened."

I look down and my fingers picking off the old nail polish. "You don't want to know."

"Yes, I do. I want to know what happened. I mean- want you to let it out and talk about it." His voice is so deep and calming and I feel so much safer with him. "I mean only if you want to, I know its a lot. I just don't want you to feel like you need to keep anything from me... ever again." 

No matter what he can make me smile "Where do I start?" I say reluctantly.

"Just, uh" he takes my one hand. "wherever you want, I guess. Maybe the first time you feel like something happened."

"The first time it happened." I say to myself. I have to think about it because it had happened so many times I can barely keep track. "Well, when he was out drinking, um, he was with his friends and tried to start a fight. So he got kicked out, but while he was waiting he had fallen asleep in the car. I basically carried him inside and he crashed on the couch." I started to bite the inside of my cheek. "Uh, well, when he woke up, I walked over to him to see if he needed anything and he got mad that I took him home even though it wasn't my fault. Uh..." I look down at my hands again.

"Was that when you..." He asks. I nod, agreeing that was the night I came over here for the first time needing bandaged up. 

"Its just so, dark," With everything I have I try not to cry any more. "its like, he was always there but I felt so alone." I go to wipe the tear from my eye but he grabs my hand again, sits up, and kisses my cheek. I smile for a second then continue. "Everything was my fault, ya know? Its like, every time he walked in the room all the air got sucked out of me and I couldn't breathe. He would only touch me if he wanted to have sex with me, and when he would kiss me he was so rough. He would try and touch me and when I told him to stop, he would either ignore me and kiss me trying to shut me up, or he would beat me." He wipes my tears with this thumb and pushes the hair off my face as he slowly moves his hand down and lightly strokes my arm. "I've never felt more scared in my life. Its was like, one day what I did was the right thing, but the next day I would do the same thing and everything I did was wrong. All you can feel is fear, you're in survivor mode 24/7, and when I go out in public I have to spend hours on my make up just in case I run into someone I know. I have to pretend like nothing is wrong, that it's all just normal and I'm happy. I have to force a smile on my face every day. I say it so much I actually started to believe it myself, and thats why it's so hard for me to leave him. He always told me how he never had to worry about anyone stealing me because I wasn't pretty. When I don't do something right he told me I was worthless." I can't hold myself together any longer, and even thought it hurts like hell, I let him pull me close.

Hunter's POV

I lightly trace circles on her arm. Her back is up against my chest and we're both facing the tv, my cheek is against hers with our fingers and legs tangled up under the dark and fluffy covers. "You're safe now. Everything is going to be fine." I whisper.

"How do you know?" She asks, still having a shaky voice.

"Because theres no place safer than when you're with me. I will protect you with my life." I shake her and laugh.

"I hate you." She says smiling.

"Yeah? and why is that?" I ask letting a smirk creep up on my face.

"Because you always know the right thing to say, when to say it, and how to make me smile." She says closing her eyes. "Even when I don't want to."

"Thats because I know you better than anyone else." I mumble, brushing the hair off of her face and lightly rub her cheek. "And you know it." I squeeze her a little, forget about everything and she winces a little. "Oh' I sorry Aly-" She shakes her head and relaxes back down against me but doesn't say anything. 

After a moment or two she lets out a deep sigh and flips over snuggling up closer to me, I'm nervous to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, or even say something she would get really weirded out by and leave. I'm nervous because I can't let her go back. He has already caused so much damage to her and I can't let her do this to herself anymore.

"Goodnight, Hunter." She whispers.

"Goodnight, Aly." I kiss her temple and close my eyes. I'm about to pinch myself just to make sure this all isn't a dream.