A LETTER FROM ME TO YOU (JENLISA)

LOCKED AWAY FEELINGS

*LISA*

When I woke up, I found myself sleeping on the couch. Leaning my head, the images of what happened last night struck my thoughts. Jennie kissing me, then I kissed her back and ended up doing something more than making out.

"You are fucking unbelievable Lisa" I told myself, massaging my temple as I let my guilt eat me whole.

Roaming my eyes around the place, there was no one except me.

"Oh no, Jennie.." I was on the verge of panic when I realized that Jennie was nowhere to be found.
The possibility of Jennie getting mad at me for taking advantage of her who did nothing but provided me with a comfort that I needed the most.

"No, no, no.." I brought my hands to my hair.

What if she went back to Seoul?
And left me here in Busan all alone?

I hastily took my coat on the coffee table and looked for my keys. There's no way I'm letting Jennie to hold grudge against me, my conscience is already killing me.

Strutting towards outside, fumbling my keys on the car's door, thinking how I would come up with my apology.

"What the hell is wrong with you now?" I started losing my patience when I fail to open the door with the keys.

Looking afar in the seaside, A figure of a person walking on the seashore caught my attention.

"Jennie?" Narrowing my eyes. The brunette hair, the skin tone and that figure, I'm sure that's Jennie.

With that, I ran and ran towards the person from the seaside until I'm already out of breath.

Jennie stopped on her tracks when she noticed me going towards her.
"J-jenn--" I was panting so hard, my knees weakening until I feel bending it down against the sand. Sucking for an air, Jennie walked closer to me, her hand gently patting my head.

"I don't know what's wrong, but atleast stand up. You're getting dirt all over your pants Lisa."

Kneeling down with both of my hands on the lap, I said;

"I'm sorry. Jennie, I'm so sorry.." I couldn't look up and stare at the woman in front of me, my eyes felt a burning sensation. In any minute I could feel my tears starting to spill out.

Jennie bent down leveling my face. My guilt grew more, her kindness is just so pure.

"Lisa, look up." She tilted my chin with her hand, raising it to her direction.

"Tell me, what's wrong?" The look on Jennie's face was too innocent, too soft, and was too much that I can't bear to look at.

Briskly, I leaned in for a hug. I couldn't suppress my tears anymore as I burst myself out from crying. I thought my tears already dried up from weeping for the past few days, but here I am, wailing my heart out.

"I don't think I can forgive myself for doing something unacceptable. Forcing myself to you last night I--"

Jennie gently pushed me back as she stared right into me, both of her hands was at my shoulder.

"You don't have to say you're sorry, don't think that you force yourself to me. In the beginning, I was the one who initiated the kiss. I was the one who wanted it, and even I, had give in to what happened between us." Jennie interjected, her soothing voice made my heart calm for a moment.

Her thumb caressing my soaked cheeks.
"You don't have to feel guilty about it. Everything's fine Lisa, It's fine.."

How can you tell me that everything's fine when it's not?