I think I liked you better when you didn't have a knife in your hand, Peaches

Confessions

The sun remained out, and the afternoons stayed very warm for the next couple of days that followed.

One could have almost mistaken the heat and humidity for Summer, but it was when night fell that the residents of the Sanctuary were reminded just how far into Fall they actually were.

The evenings were cold and lieutenants were sent out on runs with extra blankets and warm sweaters on their list of things they needed to bring back. And people who worked outside in the lots and gardens, or standing guard near to the high chain-link fences, all began to put on extra layers as the days drew on.

Some already seemed to be dreading winter and the perils that that came with it...

...Frost on the ground making it impossible for anything to grow...

...Snow making supply runs futile and dangerous...

...And the cold and drafty Sanctuary, with no carpets, no indoor heating, and only cold water for most of the residents.

But this year was to be different, with Blake, already putting in place, plans to change all that.

Hard work by all on the garden meant that this seasons crops were in abundance, and with careful planning they would certainly have enough fruit, vegetables and grain to see them through until Spring.

And fuller bellies had already meant that lieutenants and workers had worked harder and happier, clearing several new paths leading out of the Sanctuary, meaning that they could cover their asses incase of snowfall or attack.

And Blake, on the first night of bitterly cold weather just a day ago, had already used her powers of persuasion with Negan, to make sure that's plans were put in place to make this place into much more of a home for everyone here. Work was to start on unused rooms on the upper levels being cleared out to make way for families and those most in need to move in. To make this sometimes horrible and dark place, one of light and life and joy.

A place of hope, for their future. That was all that Blake wanted.

Things had started to get a little less painful for her now.

The grief and loss were still there but even so, she felt herself smiling a lot more, talking too, trying to take her mind off what had happened to her and move on. She had to keep looking forwards, for not even Negan, as strong and as powerful as he was in this world, could change the past.

They had to keep striving for something better, something good.

For the past two nights, like the night before that, Mia had slept in with Blake and Negan.

Blake spending the hours after the toddler drifted off, talking with Negan, catching up on his day, clutching the baby girl to her, breathing in every inch of her and never wanting to let her go.

Negan didn't argue with anything she did either. Usually so arrogant and headstrong, it surprised her how gentle and kind he was to her, allowing her space to breathe when she needed it, but holding her tightly when she needed that too.

He hadn't argued about how quickly Blake had gotten back out in the the garden either, but still headed out to check on her, under the pretence of 'just passin' through' but acts like this only made Blake smile, seeing how much he cared.

She loved him, so dearly.

But she could still feel herself holding back. Part of her still felt tender and weak, like she was missing something. And of course she was. Missing that life she had grown inside her for all those many weeks.

It was a tragedy and no one could have predicted it. Yet Blake still felt embarrassed. A pointless feeling in this world, where everything was stark and soul-baring, and yet the blonde woman felt it nonetheless.