Mental Illness||Jimin FF

~Shocking~

"I-"
Crap... I really can't tell him.

"You what?"
I swallowed now nervous trying to think of something else to say...

Whenever i do that it goes wrong so i have to calmly think of something.
"Y/n what's wrong? You can tell me.." Jimin calmly said and squeezed my hand.

"Okay... You said something back in the in the house a while ago. You told me it was my fault. That everything was my fault." I looked down not daring to look into his eyes.

Jimin was thinking very hard. Thinking about when he said that.

It was quiet for a while... Until Jimin broke it.
"Did i really say that? Why didn't you tell me before?"

I didn't answer and Jimin sighed.

Jimin released my hand and i immediately looked up.
"Look Y/n when you just moved away my mother passed away in a tragic way... You always came to my birthdays and you weren't there on that horrible day. You just left without telling me where to. And on top of that you made me depressed because you left me."

I froze... Did i?
"And not only then because you did it again. The same exact way. Just the point is if you didn't leave my mother wouldn't be passed on right now and so would my father. You would probably still have your memory and we would be... Normal." Jimin finished his sentence.

"But i have to accept where my path leads me. So i accepted it." Jimin quickly added.

It is my fault... I did make this situation bad. Why do i ruin everything?
"This is the reason you shouldn't see me anymore. This is why i should be alone. Why all of you guys should stay in the house with me gone." I explained.

A piece of the truth.

"What are you trying to say?" Jimin asked again. His eyes lookin pained.
"This is not working anymore. All of you guys should stay together... A-And." I prepared myself for what i was gonna say.

"A-And... Leave me. You should not talk to me anymore."

Jimin looked at me with horror...
"What? Y-you really want that? But... B-but i-i don't want to! I can't! You cant leave me again... Please." Jimin grabbed my hand again his eyebrows furrowed.

Sadness showing...

"Jimin... It's better if you maybe leave. I've hidden this for so long. And now I've said it." I carefully said and shook his hand off.

"Seriously? So all that being sweet and stuff was fake? You are an closed book i seriously dont get you..." Jimin showed a little anger again but kept it under control.

Fake? It never was fake...
"No it's not all fake. Everything is real and everything is confusing now. But it will be okay. I'm not staying away yet because i have to find out what you have." I explained trying to make it positive.

Which its still not.
"Is that supposed to be better? So there is a certain time. After all that you will still leave."

I stayed quiet not knowing what to say. Jimin after waiting for my answer stands up.
"You know what maybe i should leave... Anyway in the future if you want me to stay away then i will. But! only if you stay in contact with Jungkook. To know if you're safe or not. And if you will make Taehyung and me better... But the most important thing you must know when you leave. You will never see me again."

I looked at him with a questionable expression on my face.
"Because i'm not putting up with it all the time. Leaving me everytime. Once you leave me again than that's it. Our special friendship will be over. And ofcourse if you keep your promise."