Love in the Fast Lane (Paul Walker Fanfiction)

Forty Two / Prayers Are Answered

{unedited}

April 24th, 2011 (24 weeks, 4 days)

The soft beeps of the monitor is what brings me to. I try to open my eyes but fail miserably. Why can't I open them? I try to move as well but I can't. If I couldn't hear that monitor beeping right now it would seem like I am asleep; although, I think this is much worse. It's like being in water and feeling like you are drowning, not being able to get to the surface. No matter how hard I try, I can't get my eyes to open.

Not being able to see what is going on around me, I'm forced to think about what is going on. Of course, my mind is going to the worst case scenario. I can't bring myself to actually think about losing Meadow and the baby. If that were true, it would be all my fault. I was the one driving the car. Paul is going to hate me for being the cause of all of this.

The events immediately after were blurry. I remember being stuck in the car and not being able to get out. Meadow was stuck, too. After that, I don't remember much of anything. Although, it seemed like someone was right next to the car.

My heart breaks when I think about the moment Paul would've found out about the accident. If he was like me, he might've felt guilty about our fight earlier. Lord knows I'd give anything to take that back. I wish I could tell him that I love him. I wish I could tell him I'm sorry for not protecting Meadow and the baby like I should have. I don't know where he is at, but I hope he is close. I long for his touch.

Only a second later, I hear the door open. My heart swells with happiness, love, and sadness. I hate that my husband is having to deal with this. As if all of the premieres weren't stressful enough, both Meadow and I being in the hospital is definitely overwhelming for him. I can only pray that our baby is okay.

Someone sits down in the chair beside me then grabs my hand, squeezing tight. The silence is deafening, and it seems to last forever. I figured Paul would've said something by now. Just something, anything. Not only have I craved his touch, but his voice too. Even though we've Skyped, nothing compares to having him actually be here. My heart breaks a little more when I realize he is probably struggling to find words to say. I wish I could reach out and touch him. But more than anything, I wish I could open my eyes to see his beautiful face that I have missed so much.

"I'm sorry, Sierra."

Instead of some kind of positive feeling about something finally being said, my heart skips a beat. That's not my husband's voice. It's Jake's.

"I thought it was Paul and his girl in the car. I didn't think it was you driving. I'm so sorry." Tears fall onto my hand, making my stomach churn. Jake is the one who hit us? Why the hell would he do that? "If we could just be rid of them, then it could be just us, Sierra. It could be like it was supposed to be. Remember all of the good times we had? If it wasn't for my stupid mistake, we would be married right now and you would be having my child. Not that asshole's." His grip on my hand gets really tight, to the point of pain. "He took you away from me. It was supposed to be us!"

My heart starts to race, as does the monitor. It draws the attention of a nurse, who comes inside. "Is there a problem in here?" Inside, I'm screaming for her to get him away from me. He is the reason that I'm in here. I don't want him near me, Meadow, or near my baby! At least, I hope the latter of the two are still here.

"No," Jake spats.

I can feel the nurse's presence beside me. "Well, her heart is racing. I'm going to give her a sedative to keep her stable. Now, I know you aren't her husband, so if you aren't immediate family you need to leave." Thank God! Get him out of here!