26 Beautiful Mess

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*Jungkook's POV*

Am I hallucinating? Did I hear right? Or was I so deep in the topic that I am hearing things? Or am I in a dream?

My mouth hangs open and eyes feel like popping out of the sockets. The heart beneath my chest is beating so hard that it almost feels painful. And by now, it's just me and her, no one else. My entire vision has been blocked and all I could see is Charlie and hear her soft sniffing and sobs. Her head hangs low as she continues to cry in front of me who doesn't even deserve her.

My mother goes dry when I decide to say something. I open my mouth and instantly close it shut when I have nothing to say. I can't even voice out that I love her too. I am in no shape to tell her that, I don't have courage to do so.

After a long pause, she slowly lifts her head up and her glassy eyes look into mine. My chest clenches at the amount of tears she is shedding. Her mascara has ruined completely and all she looks is a mess, a beautiful mess. Her lips quiver and all I want to do is to caress them with mine. Her cheeks are red and so her nose. Her brows are furrowed painfully close and the tears never stop. I inhale a sharp breath.

"Charlie..." my own voice cracks, "I..." I don't know what to say. She will think that I am some senseless idiot who was waiting for an opportunity to make her confess her feelings out. I don't want her to think of me like a pervert who stole her happiness years back and I cannot find a way to repay. How can I when the sin done is so big?

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Her cracked voice calls out. She uses her hand to wipe her tears away. "Don't you have anything to say?" She asks me and all I could do is to feel like a trash. "Why are you quiet Jungkook?" She raises her voice and scoffs later wiping the tears. "You know what?" Now when she looks up at me, all I could see is annoyance. "Just..." she struggles to find words and when she couldn't find anything, she just groans and turn around to leave.

I stand there still, feeling numb as I watch her disappear out of my sight. She stomps her way towards where the elevator is and without giving me a single glance, she hops in it. Did I just let her go? Without saying her how I feel?

"Oh my god." I mumble under my breath and feel like the most stupid person alive. How can I do that when Charlie just now opened up about her feelings? I groan out loud and run a hand through my hair in frustration. And when I realize what I really did, it is too long. I gain my senses back and run towards the elevator. I press the call button but it's taking too long to come down. "Fuck it." I curse under my breath and run towards the stairs.

She must be thinking that she made a fool of herself. She must be thinking that she made another bad decision to voice her feelings out loud. My legs feel like jamming after running the stairs of five floors and when I hear the ding of the elevator, I run towards it and before it could close, I jump in it. I punch on the button of our floor. I am so fucking stupid!

I breathe heavily out of exaggeration and tap my foot continuously on the floor of elevator in anticipation. How can you let her go after everything? The inner voice screams out loud at me. I lick my dried lips and rub my tear stricken face with both of my hands. I just want to scream out loud at myself. I could scream inside this elevator but the couple standing behind me will get paranoid. My knees are weak and if I won't hold myself still, I would fall on my knees miserably.

The elevator stops and doors slide open. My heart drums in my ears as I make my way towards Charlie's door. She must be thinking I don't love her but the truth is I am so in love that I will do anything for her. I will lay the whole world at her feet, she just have to voice it out. She is the beautiful beat in my heart that keeps me alive and I will do anything to keep that beat constant.

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