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rosey was wide awake in her bed in the middle of the night. the soft lighting in the room made her feel comfy, but her rushing thoughts did the opposite.
she sighed as her legs kicked the blanket atop her from side to side, attempting to reposition and relax in a comfortable position.
jeongin, one of her two roommates, was also fully awake in his bed, something she was oblivious of. however, he was attempting to sleep and had his eyes closed in the goal of falling asleep faster than his thoughts.
jeongin, unlike rosey, was very aware that his ex-girlfriend was awake. he knew she generally slept in one position, so hearing her shuffle around was unusual. it drove him insane that he knew exactly what was bothering her.
their desperation was a month ago, yet they were still in pain on the inside? they were kept awake by a mutual agreement to be nothing more than friends one day?
"rosey?" jeongin discreetly called out the girl's name.
rosey remained silent and didn't respond. her cheeks were red from the panic that had swept through her body.
"i know you're awake."
"yes, jeongin?" she finally answered.
jeongin sat up in his bed, shoving his blankets away from him and up against the wall. he moved to the edge of the bed, gazing over at rosey, who had positioned herself to face him.
they were both staring at each other because of the poor lighting. rosey pulled her messy hair away from her eyes and tucked her hands under her pillow.
"i'm very sorry," jeongin blurted.
rosey furrowed her eyebrows. she pushed herself up with her hands, sitting and crossing her legs with her blanket spread over them.
"sorry? about what?"
rosey had never seen jeongin in such a vulnerable and nervous state before. he was hesitant to approach her, fiddling with his rings to distract himself.
she had no idea that he had felt very bad every time she came home or left her room with red cheeks and swollen eyes since their breakup. he couldn't stand being the cause of her tears.
"i didn't want to make you cry for leaving the way i did," jeongin explained.
rosey nodded, though he didn't notice, and the thoughts she was having had came to rest just seconds before. she kept looking up at him, hoping he would do the same.
"it's okay, things happen for a—"
"please tell me i'm a nice person, rosey."
every day, his guilt overtook him. whenever he saw her, heard her voice, heard her name mentioned in a sentence. he wanted to be her boyfriend, but how much they were separated due to work was stressing them out.
"you're a good person, why would you think you aren't?"
"i made you cry," jeongin shook his head.
rosey pulled her blankets off her legs and climbed out of bed. she joined the younger boy on his bed, gently sitting next to him. his gaze was fixed on his own fingers as they played with his rings.
"that, i assure you, does not make you a horrible person. it's not your fault, jeongin."
he had forgotten the reasons behind her crying. they mutually agreed to discontinue their relationship; neither he nor she did anything wrong. she was heartbroken, however, because he was her first boyfriend and everything she knew came from him.
"do you believe we could have stayed together and gotten through all of that stress?" jeongin asked, eventually turning his head to face her.
rosey brushed her fingers through her tangled, curly hair. her gaze caught on his, and she responded with a tiny shrug.
"if we had stayed together through it all, i believe it would have been difficult for us. we would have ended badly."
jeongin considered her remarks and proceeded to think about all of the times he was in vocal practice thinking about her, regardless of the circumstances. his hand moved across to hers, taking it.
she let him, her gaze fixed on his face whether he glanced at her or not. she felt his hand tangle with hers and she closed hers on his.
"we can always try again."
rosey spoke in hushed tones, her voice scarcely audible from the shock of him grasping her hand, which she pushed those feelings aside. he shook his head, not dismissing but not understanding.
"not if this happens again," jeongin stated.
rosey didn't appreciate how he was suppressing her words. he was imagining the worst-case scenario because he didn't want such things to come true while he was with rosey.
"we won't know if it will happen again, but we can try to deal with it together next time. this time, we were unprepared."
that's what jeongin had been hoping for. her remarks were a sign that he was hoping to hear. he wanted something, anything, to prove that they could do it again, this time with better minds.
his hand squeezed the girl's hand, and his gaze returned to hers. when she observed his tense expression was finally relaxing, she began to smile. for the following few minutes, the room was silent.
"talking about trying again," jeongin spoke up, "could we?"
rosey's cheeks turned a pale pink seconds after he asked. he observed the difference and couldn't help but return her smile.
"of course," she said, nodding.
he took his hands away from hers and wrapped his arms around her torso. he drew her in for a long hug and held her closely, savoring the moment he had been missing for weeks.
"i don't want to lose you again."
"you never lost me."
this is is entirely correct. they never actually lost each other. whatever happened between them, they only had eyes for each other. it wasn't the proper moment for them to move on, and they didn't want to.
jeongin refused to release her, afraid that she might vanish if he did. she stood up in front of him and grabbed his hands to hold them when she pulled away.
"kiss?" jeongin asked, drawing the girl's hands towards himself and drawing her body inches away from his own.
he let go of her hands and rested his hands on her hips, waiting for her call. her sleeved hands lay on either side of his face, and they leaned in. their lips pressed together in an apology kiss.
it was only a few seconds long. it made them both happy, though they wouldn't confess it right away. rosey straightened up after their kiss and turned to try to get back to her own bed.
jeongin had grasped her wrist and twisted her around to face him. she stumbled backwards and landed on his bed. jeongin straightened the girl's hair that had fallen into her face with a laugh.
"stay up with me," jeongin suggested.
their thoughts had kept them awake for far too long, and their conversation had kept them awake even longer. now, the excitement of being together again would consume their bodies and minds for hours.
