Transformers x Reader (On Hiatus)

Bayverse: Optimus Prime x Reader

(Don't own photo)
Requested by: Raikou1015Sorry
Description: Holoform Optimus!! This takes place after The Last Night, and the reader is visited by her s/o after him being gone for so long. Enjoy!!

~~~~••••~~~~••••~~~~

You spent almost every night at the park laying on the damp grass, this simple habit hadn't started until half the year had passed since he had left. Of course it had been long since then, it being more than three years, and it was slowly rotting you from the inside out.
Although with your constant visits you had noticed the odd unique glow to the stars as they twinkled with so many mysteries and unanswered questions of humanity, but all your mind could do was follow each falling star hoping it was something other than a simple rock. You hoped they would continue to burn even after hitting the atmosphere, even praying it would crash close to you so you knew it was him. Although when they disappeared, you'd wish and beg to see those glowing bright ocean blues, or even just to simply lay your body against his chassis to hear the thumping of his spark.
Over time the job you absolutely loved began to weigh you down, every smiling and happy couple would make you sick to your stomach. The constant chatter of city life made your head hurt, your body would ache as if it had been running a marathon. For every sleepless hour just laying in the park, the more you realized just how easily your old happy life had spiraled into depression over an alien being from another planet.

Your head started to pound with regrettable thoughts of the others you tried to date just to replace him, since you assumed he'd never return because going through space could take centuries and so on, but they all failed in comparison to him. During those relationships all you could hear was his voice repeating the same words he spoke just before he left.
"My sweet (y/n), never doubt for a moment that you will ever be alone; look among the distant stars and you shall see me. I promise I will come back to you."
In an instant you fell deeper into your sad mindset and just like always the chatter in your brain played it on repeat as you tried again and again to come up with the best answer,
"And I promise I'll wait for you." That could've been simple and caring to say to him, but would it be enough for you.
"Kiss me one last time before you go." Just one more kiss to last the wait, but would he even allow the public display of affection even for you.
"N-No, I can't live without you." He was your life and the reason you decided to even keep your head up, so now that he's gone what happened to you.
"Please be safe." Even as a smaller organic being, you cared more for his safety than your own but would it have been enough to make him stay.
"Everyone I love leaves... please don't be another one." Your passed pain shouldn't be an excuse but what else could you do to keep him by your side, to show him just how scary it was to see him leave you.
"Just know I love you..." He couldn't say it back and he wouldn't, you weren't worthy enough to even be in his presence but maybe that was just what he wanted to hear from you.
God, if there was any way to allow yourself to go with him you would've taken it but being a mere human left you at a great disadvantage...
Was there anyway you could've gone, anyway to end the suffering you felt now... you knew there wasn't but you hated every bit of your mind for even thinking such a thing. After all he liked you for the way you were even if it meant having to be gentle with you, or even having to accept the fact your lifespan will never last as long as his.

You took a sharp inhale, slowly letting it back out into the chilled city air. The image of his small smile always found its way passed your bricked walls, and that simple glance in your direction always made goosebumps crawl along your skin. Every thought of him always burned your cheeks, but now it was an empty nostalgic feeling.
You understood now why he left but you wish he hadn't. If you had known he was going to leave, you would've spent more time in being with him as often as possible instead of agreeing to his worries over your own well-being.
The inhale of breath was deep and pain filled as you tried not to cry again; you had tears stains already dried on your cheeks as you gripped the grass for some sort of support.
The familiar feeling of emptiness in your chest worsened which had caused you to wince, but with a sharp exhale you didn't waste your thoughts on it any longer as you quickly went back to staring at the flickering stars.
The honking of cars broke through your earbuds which caused you to sigh annoyingly, all you wanted to do was wallow in your own self pity.
You quickly turned the volume up to continue listening to the same repeating tunes of broken hearts, and missing a simple touch. The beat kept hitting a certain spot within your aching chest, or even a nostalgic memory, sometimes it was able to make you break down. And every word seemed to work it's way into your current emotions and every simple note edged its way through the insecurities you desperately tried to hide. You could hear his voice in the songs, his lowered tone whispering sweet things to you as you began to fall asleep but you knew very well that he wasn't with you.