GLEE PREFERENCES

SOULMATES // SAM EVANS

I knew that turning seventeen was going to come with its challenges, but I never could have anticipated what would be instore. Like everyone else, when I turned seventeen I began to feel everything that my soulmate felt – well not everything. Their physical pain only leaves unexplained bruises; it's primarily the emotional pain that is felt. For most people, their first instinct is to ignore their soulmate's feelings and wait for them to come and find them but it was clear to me that my soulmate was going through something terrible, and so I decided that I had to find them, and try and make their world a little better. My first thought was that it was someone in the glee club, which would make sense since I'm so close with everyone there, but as I asked around, no one's pain seemed to match. I knew it was possible that they were lying to me, and that it could still be one of them, but I knew that for now, whoever it was, they weren't ready to come forward. My best friend Sam, he thinks I'm crazy for trying to find my soulmate at 17 and that it usually takes years, but that only made me want to find them more.

I still remember the first night I felt it. It was such an intense feeling of anxiety that over time got bigger and bigger. Sometimes it would shrink for just a little, especially during glee rehearsal, but it never seemed to completely go away. Then, one night it completely boiled over and I had a panic attack. My mum kept asking me what was wrong and I kept just having to tell her that it was my soulmate and that it would pass, and while the panic attack did, the anxiety was at a whole new level, and I felt so tense and lost and I had no explanation. Whenever I would call Sam, he wouldn't answer. When I asked him about it, he always just said he was busy. Over time, I even started to think that maybe it was him, and the reason he never answered was because he was going through things, but he would always insist that he was just studying or that his phone went flat, or that he was babysitting, and I eventually stopped pestering him about – even though admittedly, I was a little disappointed because I really really wanted it to be Sam. Even then, there was so much drama happening in the glee club because of the stupid rumours in the school newspaper, it could have been any of them.

-

"Have you guys felt much from you soulmate's?" You ask, Mercedes and Kurt as you take your seat in the choir room.

"I have," Kurt smiles. "I know it's Blaine. We always seem to be feeling the same thing at the same time. It's super cute."

Mercedes chuckles at Kurt's grin.

"What about you, Mercedes?" You ask, trying not to also let out a chuckle.

"I've felt a few things, nothing major." She shrugs. "It's been pretty easy to ignore which is great because I definitely do not think I'm ready for a commitment right now."

"Why do you ask?" Kurt tilts his head, and turns around to look at you properly.

"Oh, I've just been feeling A LOT from my soulmate, and I kinda just wanted to know if it was normal."

"Well, who do you think it is?" Mercedes asks, eyes wide and turning around to face you.

"Well, I thought that maybe it was Sam but-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Mr Schuester came striding into the room ready to start the rehearsal and introduce the topic for the week. This week was dedicated to the Fleetwood Mac album Rumours, in hopes that it would help people communicate better and hopefully put an end to some of the fighting. However, it only seemed to make things worse. What stabbed the most was when it was suggested that Quinn was cheating on Finn with Sam. How could Sam have not told you? I felt sorry for my soulmate, because on top of what they were already experiencing, they now had to deal with my stuff too.

-

The anxiety still hadn't gone away, and I was starting to feel like I was going to go insane. It wasn't even my thing to deal with and no matter how much I looked, I could not find my soulmate. It was starting to eat me up inside. I was frustrated that I hadn't been able to find my soulmate and make things better for them and I was even more frustrated that Sam, my best friend, was possibly keeping things from me. Actually, when I think about it, it has felt like he has been hiding stuff from me for months – ever since my birthday and I started being able to feel my soulmate.