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Sick Secrets | Ferdinand von Aegir

Ferdinand was worried.

You hadn't been acting like yourself lately and frankly, it was throwing him off of his game. If something was wrong, why wouldn't you tell him? You were his betrothed-- his fiancee. He was supposed to be your knight in shining armor, so why weren't you letting him? This certainly wasn't the fairytale he had imagined. Or, it would, if you would simply talk to him.

Instead, you wasted the day away either in the kitchen or your room, only opening the door when Byleth wanted to talk to you. You wouldn't even sleep beside him in his room anymore and whenever he tried to visit you, you would come up with some lame excuse to get him to leave.

These thoughts plagued his mind as he rode alongside the army, heading to their next target. You hadn't come along, much to his and the rest of the army's concern, but Byleth assured everyone that you were okay. Their comforting words did little. Morale on the battlefield improved for others, but not for Ferdinand. Instead, he only thought of you, quickly destroying the enemy in order to get back to you faster. When he did, he would find out what was wrong.

— — —

"(Y/N), you should really tell him-"

"He'll just worry, Manuela." You coughed, "He'll be like an overbearing hen, always hovering over me. I'd be devastated if he got sick as well. Really, I'm okay."

To an extent, you were. You had a pretty nasty cold a few days earlier and it quickly led to bronchitis and pneumonia. Just talking would make your lungs ache in pain. Walking two steps made you short of breath and you were constantly tired. You rarely ran a fever, however, thanks to Manuela.

Said woman hovered above you now, her hands emitting a mild green glow over your chest as she tried to heal you a little more. "You're hurting him by keeping everything from him, too, you know."

At this, you quirked an eyebrow. "He can't possibly care about me that much."

"You two are engaged, (Y/N)."

"Not willingly!" You coughed again, a sharp pain blossoming in your ribs. "Not- not willingly. He's doing this because his father wants him to."

Manuela sighed and shook her head, "You two have been engaged since you were children. Even if it's just as a friend, he still cares about you." She lifted a hand from your chest to twirl a piece of your hair around her finger. "But I doubt it's just as a friend. He looks at you like you're his true love. Maybe you are."

Less than 20 minutes later, you were walking back to your room to get some rest. You were constantly tired because of this mess and all you wanted was some sleep. You took your time in order to avoid losing too much breath. The soldiers were still fighting, so you didn't have to run from your fiance. Your heart ached along with your lungs.

You wanted to fight with the army- to fight with Ferdinand. You missed him, even if you didn't quite want to admit it. You were also quite worried about his safety. You had always fought alongside him, watching his back as he watched yours. You could only sigh at the thought, hoping that Manuela was right when she said he cared about you.

"(Y/N), nice to see you!"

Your eyes widened- you thought that the army wasn't going to be back until later.

"Oh, uh, hello Ferdinand," You turned to him and took a deep breath, slightly wincing. You hoped that he didn't notice.

He did.

"What's wrong? You've been avoiding everyone for a while now, are you okay?" He began to walk towards you, but you held your hands up to stop him.

"I'm fine," you replied, "There are just... things going on."

"Things?" he repeated, "You know that you can trust me, right?"

"Yes, of course I do! You just can't really help me with this, I guess." You turned to continue walking to your room, but Ferdinand caught up with you.

"Can I at least know why you aren't spending nights with me anymore? I do miss you."

"Don't say that," You sighed, "and I've been sick. I just didn't want you to catch it if it was contagious. Manuela says that it isn't anymore because my fever is gone, but I still feel unwell. I just wanted to be wary of your safety."

Ferdinand nodded his head in understanding. "Ah. Well, will you join me tonight? Manuela does say that you aren't contagious anymore, after all."

You shook your head, feeling slight frustration bubble up in your chest. You wished he'd stop acting like he cared. It's not like you were getting married out of love. "I- I can't."

"Why not? I miss falling asleep next to you, waking up smiling and happy-"

"Will you stop it?" You whipped back around. Your chest was hurting a little more now and it was a little harder to breathe. Ferdinand looked at you, confused. "Stop acting like you care about me. Stop acting like you love me. I know this is a loveless marriage, you don't have to keep faking it-"

Your knees felt weak and heavy. Your breathing was labored and you fell to your knees, the world spinning around you. Ferdinand knelt down beside you, but you swatted him away.

"Stop, please-" You collapsed fully, your vision going black as the world faded out.

— — —

When you came to, you recognized the soft, silk sheets of Ferdinand's bed. You looked over to see said man, asleep on his desk chair. Manuela sat on the edge of your bed, her hand leaving your forehead.

She tsked and shook her head. "You are worrying this poor man to death," She said, "He ran to me nearly in tears, talking about how you fainted and how he didn't know how to fix it."

You looked back over at him. "He's not worried about me."

"I beg to differ," She replied, "He told me what you said earlier. That was when he did shed a tear. You need to make it better."

With that, she stood up and left, closing the door loud enough to wake the redhead up. He nearly fell out of the chair, scrambling to your side. Cautiously, he cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing your jaw. "(Y/N)..."

You looked away from his gaze, finding it a little too intense to confirm your denials about his feelings. "I'm sorry."

"No," He replied, "I'm sorry."

Your eyes snapped back to him, your eyebrows furrowing. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who snapped at you."

"I'm sorry for not making everything explicitly clear," He began, "I'd always dreamt of finding my one true love and having a fairytale life. One where my spouse and I would live happily ever after. When I heard that I was practically being assigned a spouse, I thought that my dreams were crushed."

You snorted, trying to hide your hurt. "Sorry for not being the royalty that you wanted."

"That's just the thing, (Y/N)," Ferdinand leaned a little closer to you, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, "You are my dream come true. I admit, I wasn't thrilled at first. But now, after getting to know you and being by your side for so long, I know that being with you is my fairytale. Once this war is over, I cannot wait to live happily ever after by your side."

You nearly teared up at this, "Goddess, Ferdie, I feel the same way. I just have never felt like enough."

He smiled softly. "I'm glad. However, next time, please promise me that you'll tell me next time something is bothering you or you don't feel well. I don't think my poor heart could handle another situation like this."

"Of course," You giggled, "As long as you promise to be my knight in shining armor coming to save me."

"I would love to, my Queen/King. I adore you."