Their Fizz- Band of brothers

Losing Balance

As they moved through Holland liberating small towns, the boys watched their little sister help the regular people and become a favourite where ever she went. When they had thought she had died, well they were all ready to give up. Easy didn't work without her, she was ready with a kind word and a smile whenever they needed it. She picked them up when they were low, she told them what to do when they froze, she saved them when they were dying, but most importantly she loved them unconditionally. They knew they could discuss anything with her and they did.

Flo and Tab were sat at a small fountain in a Dutch Town chatting happily,

"Were you scared when you were shot in the head?" Tab asked her

"I didn't really know it had happened, I was unconscious" she replied having a sip of water from her new canteen.

"I was scared, terrified when smithy stabbed me, I'm scared of battle now Fizz, I don't want to die" he choked out

Flo immediately hugged him tightly "Tabby look at me, what happened wasn't your fault, you have no reason to believe you will die. Your amazing in battle, you know what you're doing and remember we all have each other's backs. And while I'm alive I will do everything in my power to protect you"

Tab nodded and squeezed her hard.

Flo pretended she was fine to all of her boys but when Winters chatted with her about it, she said she felt pity for those men.

"I don't think I did anything great,
I just did my job" Flo said and shook her head, but Winters could see there was something behind her eyes that seemed broken.

Winters was also concerned cause she hadn't been treated properly for her head shot, or foot or her cheek. Even though he had tried to persuade her, he asked doc to give it a go.

When doc had suggested she go off the line for a few days she practically fought him, they had stared at each other for about 5 minutes before doc had backed down and said "Fine if its what you want your staying" and she had smiled and they had said no more about it.

Gene had prescribed meds for her to take so she wouldn't feel light headed. But Winters was constantly concerned about his young medic.

***

One day as they were at a crossroads, she was sat in the med hut she and gene had makeshifted sorting through her med satchel which had luckily been restocked of supplies.

"Hi sir" she said brightly as Winters walked in

"Hi Florence, how are you?" he smiled

"I'm grand sir, Gene and the boys have been taking care of me" she said happily

"Good and your definitely feeling better" he asked concerned

"Yes sir, Gene is definitely one of the best in the division" she smiled happily

"That he is Florence, but I hope you know that you are as well" he said smiling

Flo rolled her eyes and laughed shaking her head

"Flo, I need to rest and eat as well. I know you went through a lot at market garden and had some friends die (Flo's mind went to Klink) and you know the rest of the men are concerned about you as well. We need you well, so please have a break, no matter how small" he said gently and squeezed her shoulder.

"Yes sir" she then saluted and walked off to the mess tent. But standing up, she felt dizzy.

Chuck noticing her came running over and held her up.

"Thanks Chucky, how are you love?" she asked

"I'm, alright my Fizzy, are you off to eat?" he asked hoping she would say yes.

"Yeah I am" she smiled as his eyes lit up and he said he would join her, the men were worried about her as she hadn't been eating normally the past few weeks. And Flo loved food, so it wasn't normal behaviour.

When they entered the tent, Chuck asked "How are you doing Fizz?"

"Alright, I just can't stand up without feeling dizzy, its getting on my nerves!" she said frustrated

Chuck understood with their girl it was hard on her when she couldn't do everything to the best of her ability.

"But" she continued "I am feeling a lot better and can do most things without feeling dizzy" she smiled.

"That's great Fizz" he said with relief evident in his voice

She looked at him oddly "Chucky were you worried about me?" she asked teasingly

"Yes, we are all worried about you Fizz" he replied honestly

Flo laughed "You Boys need to let me take care of you and worry about you rather than the other way round" she said putting a hand on chucks shoulder.

"Someone needs to" he muttered

She was relaxed and happily chatting with Chuck, then Lieb and Luz joined in their conversation. The boys were happy to see her relaxed. But then a report came in that a platoon of soldiers had been injured in a land mine attack and Flo rushed off to work on the men with Gene and Spina. As she was working she flashed back to those men's lives she couldn't save in Normandy, Carentan or market garden.

Then she thought about the lives she had taken away, she needed to do better, be better, to protect her friends. She worked so hard but only 2 survived the blast. She took it hard, Gene took her out for some air and some of the men that saw her were shocked. She was covered in blood but that was usual these days, no the difference was the lack of emotion in her eyes.

She started banging the hospital wall on the outside a couple of times just to let out her frustration, then walked right back in and took the ones that died, dog tags. She then ensured the 2 that survived were comfortable until Gene came in, put an arm on her shoulder and said in her ear that there was nothing more she could do. She had dreaded him saying that.

Now she was powerless.

She calmly nodded and washed her hands.

Then went to her bunk and fought not to break down into tears. When she had 'battle fatigue' as gene had called it, she had felt like this to begin with, where she hated not being in control and she had let it consume her and cause her to fall into a slump.

She couldn't let that happen again. Her boys needed her to be cheerful and able to work. She resolved to bury her feelings and only show them after the war. Then she couldn't hurt anyone with her stupid weaknesses.

A few battles occured where she had gone through the motions and done what she needed to do, she was trying to sleep but like in Normandy she couldn't sleep. She was exhausted and tried not to show it. Lying in bed she decided she needed fresh air, she walked along the streets of a town in god knows where with dragged feet and eyelids half closed when she banged into someone.