The Hater and the Player

Chapter 51

| Forgiveness is the key for moving on |

I can still remember that particular night, it was so cold and glum, my room was filled in darkness as I sat on my bed with nothing but haunting thoughts.

I was fourteen that year, it was a haunting memory, something that I couldn't wait to wipe off my head.

My parents were a couple before they were married, it seems like my father was a player like me and had flings the moment he broke up with my mother. Then she found out that she was pregnant and had me, my father was feeling guilty at that time and married my mother.

They were praised for their marriage, blessed with conjugal bliss and wishes were thrown for the newlyweds.

They stayed for fourteen years, pretending to be pigs and tiger as they show a blissful marriage life. But it was just a facade, they were broken and unable to be mended.

My father fell in love with a woman when he was still married to my mother. My mother knew about it but didn't said anything until she proposed a divorce to my father.

If small holes aren't fixed, then big holes will bring hardship.

I see the signs, heard the cries and sighs and felt the cold walls surrounding the four walls of our house.

That sleeping in different bedroom were normal, that my father is a busy man and my mother is an introvert, that a single crack could shatter the glass.

I think I knew that we aren't a normal family, I just ignored it and leave the matters to the adults.

I was still fourteen, a person whose half adult and half kid, I was immature about feelings and life. I didn't know the reason for their separation, I was too busy with my life that I didn't know that a family wasn't supposed to be like us.

My mother loved me, I knew it, I saw the look in her eyes. The love that simmers in her forlorn eyes as she caress my head, sweetly singing a lullaby everytime I cried due to nightmares.

But her love for my father was much bigger and stronger than her love for me.

Months after the separation, my father brought a woman, telling me that she's his wife.

A woman that is not my mother.

My new mother.

I rebelled, I fought with him until he screamed for me to get out of this house, and I did.

For I couldn't live under the same sky as this woman he now called his wife.

My mother found out, she went out when a storm was about to hit our city. I didn't know, all I remembered was the cold and shabby place, the moon was nowhere to be seen and the people looking at me with both disgust and pity.

I was soon found by the police, I was sleeping in a park and I was soon whisked in my place and was sent to my father's house.

There I saw him, his hunched back as he blankly nodded at the police, the woman looking at me with pity as she caressed my father's back repeatedly in comfort and I, I was just staring at them.

She was dead.

My mother was dead and it was all my fault.

Before she left this house I call prison, she told me something, an advice that I defy all my life until I found her.

My redemption.

My Feng-er.

...