Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

July 9, 2014

It had been over six months since Ceci and I had made out in my basement and just like we'd promised, we hadn't spoken of it again.

That didn't mean I didn't think of it. It was a really good thing my music career was taking off because if I'd been a normal high school student, I probably would have fallen hard for her. I refused to let that happen, though. I had too much going on in my life and needed Ceci as a friend.

Andrew, my manager, had set up meetings with a label called Island Records earlier this year. They were part of the Universal Music Group, but as a smaller sub-label, they had more to offer me. I officially signed with them in May in New York City and my first single was released in late June. It was titled "Life of the Party," and I loved the vibe of it because it was both positive and a little melancholy. A music video shot here in Toronto debuted five days after the single dropped.

My fans loved the song, and my team was confident it would break into the charts quickly. I had this really crazy mixed emotional reaction to everything. Obviously I was thrilled that I was living my dream, but I was also terrified. On top of that, I was living a strange double life. Sometimes I was a pop star sitting in meetings or recording music that I'd actually helped write. Other times I was a Pine Ridge Secondary School student who didn't always fit in, despite the fame. Ceci told me over and over that the people who mocked me and called me gay were just assholes filled with envy and self-loathing. It was easy for her to say because she knew firsthand that I liked girls. There was no way to prove that to the people who saw it was a touchy subject with me and took advantage of that.

Thankfully, I wouldn't have to deal with a lot of high school crap next year. I had an EP coming out at the end of July and then I was going on tour in November to promote my music.

"Shawn loves his muscles," I heard Aaliyah say to Ceci.

We were sitting on the private dock that came with the cabin we'd rented with the Burroughs for the week. Our dads were out on the small boat fishing and drinking beer, and our moms had run into a nearby small town for some fresh food.

It was our sixth "camping" trip together, but each year it was less about staying in tents and more about having an awesome cabin.

"He's worked hard for that physique," Ceci replied. "It's natural to want to show it off. If that means not wearing a shirt for this entire vacation, then so be it."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," I groused.

Aaliyah giggled. "I thought you were asleep!"

"I knew you were awake," Ceci said. "That's why I didn't make fun of you. You're welcome, by the way."

"For the record, I've been shirtless because I want a nice tan. I've got some photo ops coming up and I want to look good."

"Ooh! Photo ops! You're a real celebrity now, aren't you?" Ceci teased.

I got out of my lounge chair, walked over to where she and Aaliyah were sitting in a hammock, and swiftly picked my friend up, throwing her over my shoulder. I then walked over to the edge of the dock.

"Don't you dare!" Ceci screamed, pounding my back with her fists.

The water in this lake was really cold since it was so deep, and we hadn't done much swimming because of this.

"Sorry I can't hear you," I said. "This seems like a great time for a dip, don't you think?"

"Shawn!!! Noooooo!!!" she shrieked.

"Was that a yes? It sounded like a yes."

I then bent my knees and jumped as far out in the water as I could, holding on to Ceci as I leapt. We both went underwater, where I let go of her so that she could swim to the surface. I came up first, and a second later she was next to me, sputtering as she treaded water. It was colder than I'd anticipated but it was still so worth it.