Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

June 4, 2022

I stood backstage doing some stretches to try to ease my tension before it was time to perform. When I turned my neck, it cracked loudly, which definitely felt good, but my shoulders were still high and rigid.

"Fuck fuck fuck," I muttered to myself.

"You've got five minutes. You okay?" Andrew asked.

"No."

"It couldn't have been that bad. You and Ceci are solid. One fight isn't going to ruin what you have."

I looked at him and shook my head. "It was no ordinary fight."

"Did you break up?" he asked.

"No, but she left, and I don't even know if she's going to be watching me. For all I know she's at the airport on her way back to Toronto."

"Push it out of your head until your set is done. You're singing six songs. After that you can focus on Ceci."

I nodded but I knew I'd be thinking about her while I was on that stage, especially when I closed the show with my new single.

"Where were you?" Ceci asked from the sofa when I walked through the front door of my house.

"Sorry, baby. The radio interview ran late and then I met up with Andrew and Cez for a beer and we sat around talking for longer than I realized. I was going to text you but my fucking phone died again. I need a new one because the battery on this piece of shit sucks. What smells so good?"

I hated lying to her. It was true that my phone had died, but I'd left out an important piece of information related to why I'd been late.

"I made you a special dinner," she said as she got up and walked into the kitchen.

On the counter was a lovely meal of roast chicken, potatoes, and green beans. It had probably been sitting out for hours, and I wondered if it was even edible at this point.

"This looks incredible. You should have eaten without me," I told her as guilt weighed heavily on me.

She didn't answer, and instead started dumping everything in the trashcan before washing the numerous dishes needed to prepare the meal. I felt sick to my stomach that I'd disappointed her, but she hadn't told me that she was making this nice dinner. She never really cooked when she was in town, which was kind of ironic since she'd designed an absolutely incredible kitchen.

All the renovations were complete and the pool was in. My house was beautifully furnished with pieces that were stylish, yet comfortable and practical. Ceci had been right that the place had potential and now that her vision had become reality, I couldn't get over how gorgeous my California home was.

Ceci walked past me, straight to the master bathroom with me trailing behind her, and started taking off her make-up. The fact that she'd done up her face so prettily told me this dinner had meant something to her.

"I'm really sorry," I said from behind her. "If I'd known, I would have come home sooner."

She looked at me in the mirror. "It's my fault for trying to surprise you. It's fine. There's Thai food from last night in the fridge if you're hungry. It's not that late but I'm exhausted, so I just want to go to bed."

It didn't seem fine, yet she didn't seem angry. The vibe I was getting from her was that she was sad. I knew I needed to tell her the real reason I was late but this definitely wasn't the right time. Maybe tomorrow after my performance we could go out to eat and talk.

I made myself a dinner out of leftover take-out and crawled into bed around eleven. We slept side by side, and eventually her body found its way into my arms so that we woke up spooning. If there were any residual bad feelings on her end, I couldn't sense them. We had coffee and brunch together, and then each of us took showers and got dressed before the car picked us up at two and drove us to the Dignity Health Sports Park.