Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

December 24, 2019

I'd never been more uncomfortable in my entire life. I was sitting at the Burroughs family's festively decorated dining room table on Christmas Eve with Fiona on my left and Ceci on my right. Lisa and Eric had prepared a delicious dinner and the conversation was light and happy. I couldn't relax at all, however, because I could feel Ceci's animosity radiating out of her despite her cheerful demeanor. Meanwhile, my girlfriend was trying hard to win everyone's approval by being overly complimentary and sweet.

When we first arrived, Fiona had taken Lisa's hand and said, "I just love your home! It's so warm and inviting! I can picture myself curled up in front of a blazing fire reading a good book!"

"This beef is better than I've had at any fine restaurant in Europe!" she gushed as we ate.

"You'll have to give me this potato recipe so that I can make it for Shawn when we get back to L.A.!" she added a few seconds later.

"Ceci made them," Eric said. "What's the herb you used, hon?"

"Fresh rosemary," Ceci replied. "The recipe is very easy to make, otherwise I couldn't have done it."

"Are you not a cook?" Fiona asked.

"Not really," she said. "I've been known to be a bit of a disaster in the kitchen."

Eric coughed. "Understatement!"

"Most of the really bad incidents happened when I was younger. I like to think I've improved a little since middle and high school!" Ceci defended herself.

This reminded me of something.

"There was the time you made us pizza bagels for lunch. You put them in the oven and then we got distracted by playing Wii or something, and by the time we remembered, the kitchen was filled with smoke," I said, laughing loudly at the memory.

Then the whole scenario came back to me. It had been on one of my breaks from touring and I'd gone over to Ceci's since her parents were away for the day. Our lunch had burned because we'd been going at it on the couch and had lost track of time. I glanced to my right and saw that her cheeks were bright red. She must have remembered, too.

"How adorable!" my girlfriend said.

Fiona knew very little about my relationship with Ceci, other than the fact that we were childhood best friends, but of course Ceci knew all about Fiona. Actually, that wasn't true. Ceci had no idea how I'd gone from our "break-up" in June to bringing Fiona home for the holidays. I was sure she connected the obvious dots, but she was wrong if she thought I went running into Fiona's arms.

Nothing had happened until we'd run into each other at the party in September. From that point on, however, we'd been inseparable. She put her career on pause and joined me on tour in Asia, Oceania, South America, and Mexico. Fiona Slattery loved me, and the puppy love I'd felt for her as a teen grew into the real thing now that we were a couple.

Unfortunately, Fi was right about something she'd told me in July. It took a long time for my heart to forget Ceci. I spent many nights fucking my girlfriend in some luxury hotel on tour, and then falling asleep and dreaming about a girl in Toronto. Each morning I'd wake up and tell myself that those eleven days weren't real. We'd been impulsive and foolish, but it had been a mistake. Ceci had said I'd only wanted her because I couldn't have Fiona, and as time passed, I started to agree with this theory. If Ceci and I were meant to be together, we would have worked out.

"So Cecilia," Fiona said, leaning over so she could see her, "one day I want to build one of those stark modern homes on a beach, maybe in Malibu. Could I, or maybe I should say we, commission you to design it? I hear you're remarkably talented!"