Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

June 7, 2019

I threw up three times on my flight back to Toronto. Lemme just say, puking in a tiny airplane bathroom is misery.

As my plane circled Pearson waiting for clearance to land, I considered texting Ceci to tell her I was sick and to go back to the apartment that she shared with two of her college friends. I'd have to confront her eventually, though, so getting it out of the way now was probably for the best.

A driver met me at the luggage carousel and took me straight to my condo. I carried my suitcase and guitar up to my floor and stood outside my door as I tried to steel myself.

"It'll be okay," I muttered under my breath. "Be honest and apologize sincerely. She might forgive you."

"Hiiiiii!!!" Ceci yelled as she flung my door open.

I was so surprised that I fell backwards onto my ass.

"Oh no! Let me help you up," she said as she reached for my hand. "I'm so sorry! I heard footsteps and I couldn't wait to see you!"

"I'm just clumsy," I told her as I righted myself.

She grabbed my guitar and I picked up my suitcase before we walked inside.

"It smells great in here," I said.

"I ordered Indian food. I also got a couple bottles of wine, because I figured we could have a romantic dinner."

It killed me that she'd put so much thought into our reunion.

"I was a little airsick on the flight. Let me go take a quick shower and brush my teeth."

"You were sick? That's terrible! If you think Indian will make you feel worse we can put it in the fridge and I can make you some toast and soup."

"I'll let you know how I feel after I shower."

I took my stuff to my room and got undressed. When I stepped into the shower, I fell apart. My tears burned way hotter than the water that was beating down on me.

Thirty minutes later I joined Ceci in the kitchen where she was sipping a glass of red wine.

"Are you feeling any better?" she asked, her voice full of sweet concern.

"A little. Can we hold off on eating for awhile? Maybe sit on the couch and talk?"

"Of course! Let me make you some hot peppermint tea."

Once she'd done that, we sat down next to each other.

"I guess you being sick is why you haven't given me that kiss you promised," she said before sipping her drink.

"There's actually more to it than that," I said, though every word pained me.

She looked at me with her chocolate eyes and I saw the realization form in her head before she spoke. "You...you don't want us to move forward, do you?"

I set my cup down on the wood plank coffee table. "No, that's definitely what I do want, but I have to tell you something."

"Is whatever is going on why you didn't call me as much after a few days? You only texted me a couple times a day, though I assumed it was because you were so busy."

"Yes, and I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you more, but I would have had to tell you this over the phone and that's the last thing I wanted," I said.

"Tell me what?" she croaked out.

"I told you the video was going to be sexy, right? This actress had been lined up and even though I didn't know her, she fit the part. Anyway...she broke her wrist and Andrew and the director recast the role."