A Hope to Lose (Friend Series #2)

Chapter 28

Chase treated my scratches and cuts. Pagkatapos kong magpasalamat ay kaagad din akong nagpaalam sa kanya dahil maggagabi na. I have to go back to school to return Miko's car. Nang makabalik ako sa school ay humingi ako ng sorry kay Miko dahil pinaghintay ko pa siya.

Pagkauwi ko ay kaagad kong nakita si Harvey sa salas ng bahay namin. He's fiddling with his phone until he saw me. Kumunot ang noo ko habang tinitingnan ang buhay niyang cellphone. Nagagawa rin pala niyang buksan iyon.

Kaagad niyang binitawang ang cellphone na hawak at lumapit sa'kin. He's about to give me a kiss but I evaded it.

"Sina Mama?" tanong ko at tumuloy sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay. He followed me.

"Pumuntang Batangas." Then I felt his hand on my back. Tumigil ako sa pagakyat at pumikit ng mariin nang yakapin niya ako mula sa likod. I groaned.

"Hmm, galit ka na naman." hula niya na parang hindi na niya ikinagulat na galit ako.

"Sorry na agad." he whispered. He kept on apologizing while planting soft kisses on my nape. Sinikop niya ang buhok ko upang mas mahalikan ang batok at leeg ko.

"Sorry babe. I love you. I love you."

This is the problem with me. Hindi ko kayang magalit sa kanya ng matagal. I really hate myself for this. It's not fair. Nothing is. I sighed, closed my eyes and nodded.

"Bati na tayo?" he asked while caressing my waist then my stomach.

He knows well how to melt my anger. I just nodded my head.

He chuckled and quickly found my lips. This time I didn't avoid it. I let him own my lips. I encircled my arms around his neck when he carried me. We're kissing until we reached my room. He shut the door using his foot never leaving my lips.

Tiningnan ko siyang pumasok sa walk in closet ko at lumabas dala-dala na ang pantulog ko. He's talking to someone over the phone.

"Paki-cancel na lang." sabi niya sa kanyang kausap habang nakatingin sa'kin.

"What did you cancel?" tanong ko nang matapos ang tawag.

He shook his head and slid his phone in the pocket of his jeans. Umupo siya sa gilid ng aking kama at hinawakan ang dalawang kamay ko.

"Date natin. Kaso mukhang wala ka sa mood. Pagod ka pa. Kaya next time na lang." he smiled and kissed my cheek.

We were both silent while he's dressing me up. Ang paghinga naming dalawa at tunog ng aircon ang tanging ingay na naririnig ko sa loob ng aking silid.

After he changed me in my pajamas, he joined me in bed. Soon as he lain on my bed, I scooted closer to him. I sighed when I felt his warmth.

"Sof." he softly called my name while he's swirling his finger in my curls.

"Hmm?" I pillowed his arms while he rested his long leg over my legs.

"May sasabihin ako."

Umangat ako ng tingin at nahuli ko siyang nakatingin sa'kin. Tiningnan ko siya ng masama nang maalala ko ang nangyari sa'kin kanina. Napalunok siya nang mapansin ang masama kong tingin sa kanya.

"Patapusin mo muna ako sa mga sasabihin ko bago mo 'ko saktan," paalala niya habang pinaglalaruan ang buhok ko.

"What did you do this time?"

I already had an idea of what he's going to tell me but I want to act oblivious about it. I want to know how far his honesty would go. I want to see if he's going to omit something.

"Tungkol sa defense ko." he said and hugged me tighter so he could avoid my gaze.

I frowned and pinched his nipple against his shirt.

"Shit. Patapusin mo muna ako babe bago mo 'ko saktan para isang bagsakan na lang."

Imbes na huwag siyang saktan ay marahan kong pinalo at tinulak ang dibdib niya upang matingnan siya. Ramdam ko ang malakas na kabog ng dibdib niya. Was that because he's scared of me?

"What about your defense?" I asked.

"Na-late ako ng dating at 'di ko˗"

"And that's because?"

He sighed.

"Race, babe." he said and made a cute face. With that, I pulled his hair.

"And you really have no plans on telling me that?" asik ko.

"Ayoko kasing bigyan ka ng sakit sa ulo, shit." Kinuha niya ang kamay kong hinihila ang buhok niya at pinatakan ito ng halik. I removed my hand from his hold. He smiled and scratched his brows.

"At ngayong okay na˗"

"Pa'no naging okay?"

"Humingi ako ng tulong kay Papa. Ayaw makinig ng panel sa'kin e 'di kay Papa paniguradong makikinig sila."

"You abused the power˗"

He sighed and nodded.

"Alam ko. Gusto ko lang naman na bigyan nila ako ng chance. Tanginang 'yan. Kapag ako naging tanyag."

"Maybe they see that you're not worth giving of a second chance."

"Aray, aray, aray. Ang sakit mo naman magsalita." kunwari ay nasasaktan niyang sabi. I snorted and slapped his chest.

"You're late Jo. It only shows that you're not interested and serious˗"

"Being late doesn't always mean failure. It means you're getting ready for a great launch." he proudly said.

Then he continued with his explanation.

"I mean ako," turo niya sa sarili. "'Di nila pagmamartsahin? Parang nagtapon sila ng ginto."

Humalakhak ako habang pinapakinggan ang sunod-sunod niyang kayabangan. Tumigil ako nang makitang nakangiti siya habang tinitingnan ako.

"What?"

"May aaminin pa ako sa'yo."

Nanatili akong tahimik, hinihintay ang mga susunod niyang sasabihin.

"Babe 'yong ano..." he trailed off.

"'Yong Mercedes ko babe tinalo ko sa pusta..." he watched my reaction but I remained calm.

"Pero nasa akin na ulit ngayon." he said and showed me the keys of his Mercedes.

"Sinasabi mo lang sa'kin ang mga problema mo dahil nasulusyunan mo na. Ibig sabihin ay wala kang balak sabihin sa'kin ang mga ito kung hindi mo nasusulusyunan?"

"Natatakot kasi ako sa magiging reaksyon mo."

I crossed my arms and turned sideways.

"Sof." he softly called.

"What?"

"May isa pa kasi akong sasabihin na hindi ko na masusulusyunan."

"Kanina kasi sa track..." Tumingin siya sa'kin pero mabilis ding umiwas nang makita ang matalim kong tingin.

"May humila sa'kin bigla at hinalikan ako."

Parang biglang bumalik sa'kin ang lahat. How that woman kissed her...

"Did you kiss her back?" I croaked.

Naalarma siya nang makita ang sunod-sunod na pagpatak ng luha ko. Bumangon siya ng kama at pilit na inaabot ang kamay ko. Every attempt he makes, I'm slapping his hand.

"Hindi."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Tangina hinding-hindi Sofia."

I cried. He kept on hugging me while I was punching his chest continuously. I keep on telling him that I hate him so much but I know more than he knows that I was just lying to myself. I couldn't hate him.

"Tangina, pag nakita ko ulit ang gagong 'yon, tatadyakan ko." He tightened his hug.

I sniffed and looked up at him. "Gago?"

"Transgen 'yon puta." inis at galit niyang sabi.

What?

"Are you fooling me?" Malakas ko siyang itinulak upang makawala sa yakap niya.

The woman is beautiful. Mas maganda at matangkad pa sa akin! That didn't help to make me feel better. It makes me feel ugly! Tapos sasabihin niya na transgender iyong babae na humalik sa kanya?

"Babe, nagsasabi ako ng totoo." aniya, pilit akong inaabot.

"Do you?" I asked and slapped his hand.

"Oo, kaklase ko noong junior high. Matagal nang niloloko sa'kin ng mga gago kong kaklase noon dahil may gusto raw sa'kin. Hindi ko alam na trans na siya ngayon kaya kanina noong hinalikan niya ako, 'di agad ako nakaiwas."

This time, I let him hug me when he tried to.

"Umiyak pa ako sa inis kanina." pag-amin niya sa'kin na parang batang inagawan ng candy at isiniksik ang ulo sa leeg ko.

I held on his shoulders when I could feel liquid on my neck.

"Umiiyak ka?" hindi ko mapigilan ang matawa. Kanina lamang ay umiiyak ako, ngayon ay tumatawa na. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko.

"Tangina." mura niya at tumalikod sa'kin upang punasan ang luha.

I can tell that he's pissed.

"Now you know how does it feel to be pissed." sabi ko at hinayaan siyang hilain ako papuntang sofa.

Umupo siya roon at pinaupo niya ako sa kanyang kandungan. He hugged me behind. Matapos kumalma ay nagsalita siyang muli.

"Kinausap ako ni Kuya Hunt. He scolded me for letting you clean my unit. Sof, sana huli na 'yon."

"But˗"

Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at marahang hinawakan iyon.

"Ayokong nahihirapan ka 'tsaka ayokong magka-kalyo 'yang kamay mo dahil naglilinis ka ng kalat ko." he whispered.

"Ang ganda pa naman ng nail polish mo ngayon. Gusto mo masira dahil naglilinis ka?" pananakot niya sa'kin.

As if he can scare me of that.

"I'm glad you like it." I smiled. We're both looking at my fingernails.

"Isn't it glittery?" I asked and turned my head to him.

He smirked and caressed my stomach.

"Shining, shimmering, splendid." sabi niya habang tumatawa. Tumawa rin ako sa sinabi niya.

I could feel his lips on the shell of my ear as he laughs. His thighs moved as he suppressed his laugh. This talk with him is so dull but one's thing for sure, I trust him more than anyone else.

He has his flaws so am I. It always turns me off once I see the downside of a guy that I like before. But with Harvey, I'm starting to learn how to accept every bit of it.

He kept things from me and I hated that but I don't know with me. Sorry lang niya, nawawala na agad ang inis ko sa kanya, makita ko lang siya, nakakalimutan ko na ang galit ko at hawak lang niya, nawawala na ako sa wisyo.

Mahal na mahal ko siya kahit na minsan napapansin ko na nabubulag na ako sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Iyong pakiramdaman na nahihirapan na akong ihiwalay ang tama sa mali kasi mas mahalaga na sa'kin kung saan siya masaya. At iyon ang kinatatakot ko ng sobra-sobra, kung hanggang saan ako dadalhin ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya.

"de Silva, Harvey Claverio."

I stood up and clapped when his name was called. I was smiling from ear to ear when he climbed the stage to receive his diploma. I readied my camera to take a shot.

Nasa kanang bahagi ko sina Mama at Papa habang sa kabila naman ang Papa at mga Kuya niya. I'm so happy that we're all here to witness this important event of his life.

Nang matapos ang ceremony ay kaagad akong lumusong sa dagat ng tao upang hanapin siya. Nang makita siya ay awtomatikong napangiti ako dahil maging siya ay naghahanap din ang mga mata.

"Babe!" I waved my hand with my camera on it. Ngumiti siya nang makita ako at kaagad na naglakad palapit sa'kin. He opened his arms for me and I quickly ran to him. I squealed when he lifted me soon as I reached him.

"So proud of you." I said and kissed him.

Isinuot niya sa'kin ang cap at ibinigay ang diploma.

"Next year ikaw naman maglalagay at magbibigay sa'kin nito." saad niya na ikinangiti ko.

"Sure." I was hugging his waist while his arm was draped on my shoulders.

May hinila na lang siya bigla na mukhang kakilala niya at ibinigay ang camera ko roon upang kuhaan kami ng larawan. Hindi nagtagal ay dumating na ang mga magulang namin at mga Kuya niya para samahan kami sa picture taking. Sumama na rin ang mga kaibigan niya na may sorpresa pa sa kanilang dalawa ni Fance.

"After this hijo, what's your plan?" Mama asked Harvey while we're taking our dinner in a table with the de Silvases. Nasa isang high-end restaurant kami ngayon kasama ang pamilya namin. Magkatabi kami ni Harvey at kaharap si Kuya Hunt at Kuya Hade. Nasa magkabilang kabisera naman si Tito Hubert at si Papa, na nasa kanang bahagi niya naman si Mama.

"Mag-take ng Board Tita. Kung makapasa, I'll start practicing my profession."

I was nodding my head as I listened to Harvey's future plan. We already talked about that. Buong oras na nagsasalita siya ay nasa pinggan ko lang ako nakatingin.

"Pagka-graduate po sana ni Sof, gusto ko po sanang lumipat ng condo kasama siya, Tito, Tita."

I stopped munching my food and looked at him in daze. He was massaging his nape while smiling shyly to my parents. Hindi ko alam ang tungkol sa plano niyang 'yon. He never told me.

And wait, is he already seeking permission to my parents that we'd live together?

"Iniisip ko po kasi, mas convenient sa amin pareho kung malapit sa kumpanya niyo ang condo namin para pagkatapos ko siyang ihatid sa trabaho saka ako tutuloy sa trabaho ko."

He reached for my hand under the table and squeezed it. His hand was cold and shaking.

Kinakabahan siya? Parang gusto kong matawa ngayon. Kinakabahan din pala ang isang 'to. Ngunit kahit na kinakabahan siya, I can't see any hesitation in his eyes as he speaks. He's adamant telling his future plans including me.

"At kapag stable na po kami pareho sa trabaho naming dalawa, may ipon na at kaya na siyang buhayin gamit ang sarili kong pera, pakakasalan ko po ang anak niyo, Tito, Tita."

My jaw dropped as I heard marriage from him again. Tiningnan ko si Papa na ngayon ay umiinom ng tubig na may ngiti sa labi. Mama was looking at him in pure adoration. Habang si Tito Hubert, Kuya Hayden at Kuya Huntley ay patuloy lang sa pagkain. But I can tell that they're listening to the youngest de Silva.

Papa chuckled. "Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit matagumpay ang mga de Silva. de Silvases plan well."