A Hope to Lose (Friend Series #2)

Chapter 32

After my graduation, Harvey and I started to live our plan together.

Tito Hubert gave us a high-end penthouse! Well, what should I expect? de Silvases are equal to extravagant.

Malapit sa kumpanya namin ang penthouse na ibinigay sa amin ni Tito Hubert kaya parehong madali para sa amin iyon ni Harvey. Kahit busy kami sa trabaho ay hindi namin nakakalimutan ang magbakasyon sa ibang bansa ilang beses sa isang taon.

We always engage in recreational activities to unwind. Last year, I tried paragliding for the first time. That was the most heart-stopping adventure I did with him. Pangalawa na lang iyong sumakay kaming dalawa sa isang aircraft at siya ang piloto. Yes, he learned to pilot aircrafts. After earning hours, he's already a licensed pilot.

After years of living with him, it wasn't easy. Living in a roof with him was an eye-open for me. I personally experienced the downside of a relationship. That relationship is not all about happiness and pleasures but sacrifices and pain.

Ilang beses ko na siyang pinagsarhan ng pinto sa kuwarto namin. Minsan ay hindi ko na rin siya pinapapasok sa loob ng penthouse namin at ilang beses na rin akong umuwi sa bahay pagkatapos naming mag-away.

There was a time where I couldn't take his flaws anymore and so was he to my behavior that's why we wound up fighting. That feeling that I could finally say that I've had enough, that I wanted to quit but when my anger subsided, I just found myself coming back to him.

I sighed and glanced at Harvey beside me. His head was placed on my shoulder while his arms were hugging me. Nandito kami ngayon sa backseat ng rented car namin. We hired a driver today dahil tinatamad siyang magmaneho.

We're having our backpack trip across Europe as of the moment. We visited Venice first, then London and now Paris! We were both worn out for the whole activity we did today. Tapos mamaya ay magkasama naming hihintayin ang New Year. It's our sixth anniversary.

I opened my phone and went to the camera. I hit the red icon to record a video. Itinapat ko ito sa aking mukha. I zoomed in and zoomed out the camera while making funny faces. I moved my eyes sideways to see Harvey. He's looking at me with creased forehead. Mukhang napapantastikuhan sa ginagawa ko.

I moved my phone so the camera would reach him. I moved the visor of his cap up para mas makita ang mukha niya. He drowsily looked at the camera and nodded his head before he nuzzled his nose on my neck.

I laughed when his stubbles tickled me there. Hanggang sa hindi ko na alam kung saan na tumapat ang camera bago ko naihinto ang record. I added the video to my story with a caption "two hours before six, i luv u babe". I also mentioned him.

After I posted it, I received too many love reactions from our friends and acquaintances except from Kuya Kai, Kuya Arthie and Kuya Julian. They replied an angry emoji to my story.

They never like Harvey for me and I'm getting used to it. Though sometimes it hurt me. They could have not voiced their hatred to my relationship with Harvey. Bakit hindi na lang nila gayahin si Chase? Tamang view lang ng story ko.

Pagkarating namin sa aming hotel room ay dumiretso na sa bedroom si Harvey para matulog habang ako ay naghanda na para mamayang twelve midnight.

Inayos ko ang pang-dalawahang mesa sa balcony ng hotel room namin. I placed the cake I baked at the center of the table. I then put fairy lights all over the railing of the balcony, scattered roses on the floor and placed scented candles at the sides.

I smiled when I got satisfied with the look of the balcony. I quickly ran to our bedroom and climbed the bed. Dumapa ako sa kanyang tabi at pinindot ang tungki ng ilong niya. Harvey's only with his sweatpants.

"Babe, wake up. Ten minutes before New Year na." I whispered. He only groaned and draped his arms on my back. Hindi nagtagal ay iminulat din niya ang mga mata.

"Happy Halloween babe." He murmured.

My forehead creased. "What?"

He chuckled and pulled me closer to him. "Happy anniversary pala."

I groaned when his hand went in my oversized shirt.

"Let's go." I said and tried to pull him up but he pulled me over his body instead.

"Magtrabaho na lang kaya tayo, babe?" tanong niya habang hinahagod ang kamay sa loob ng damit sa likod ko.

I stared at him suspiciously. "Nah. That won't work." I said and stood up. I clearly remember we celebrated our fourth and fifth anniversary in the bathroom making love so I don't want to end up our sixth anniversarry like that.

Ilang minuto ang ginasta ko bago ko siya nadala sa balcony. Saktong pagdating namin doon ay umilaw na ang kalangitan ng iba't ibang ilaw. Rinig na rinig ko ang putok ng mga paputok.

Sabay kaming sumandal sa railing habang tinitingnan ang magandang tanawin sa aming harapan ngayon. He draped his arm over my shoulder and I quickly held his hand and clasped it to mine.

"Jo, after we get married. Let's have a baby." biglang sabi ko.

He chuckled. "Bakit pagkatapos pa ng kasal? Puwede namang ngayon na. Ayaw mo ba?" he asked and looked at me.

I immediately shook my head. "Ayaw. Pagkatapos pa ng kasal babe."

We enjoyed the night talking and laughing. This is what I love about us. Even a single moment with him would always worth the fights and pain. Always.

After our backpack trip across Europe, we went back to Philippines.

I was cleaning our room when I saw the jar I gave him before. Nakalagay iyon sa isang cabinet, well secluded. Kaunti na lang ang laman no'n. He really opens a message once a week. Lahat naman ata ng hiling ko na naisulat ko sa jar ay unti-unti niyang tinutupad. I guess I should start making a new one huh?

I was thinking of that when Papa called me. Pagkatapos ko siyang kamustahin ay kaagad niya ring sinabi ang kanyang pakay.

"I need you to check on something."

Day off ko ngayon at alam naman iyon ni Papa. Hindi naman siya iyong tipo na tatawag sa'kin tungkol sa trabaho lalo pa't wala akong pasok. This must be big and serious.

Mabilis akong naligo at nagbihis. Mabilis akong nagtipa ng mensahe kay Harvey para ipaalam sa kanya na nasa kumpanya ako.

Papa's secretary escorted me to his office. I saw my father in his table reading documents. He lifted his head when his secretary called him to announce my presence. Umalis ang kanyang sekretarya at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Papa sa loob.

"Pa." bungad ko at umupo sa upuang nasa harap ng kanyang mesa.

"I'm sorry. I know today's your day off but I need your opinion about this." he said and showed the financial documents in his hand.

He slid it over the table. Kaagad ko iyong tiningnan. These are the financial statements of the earliest project we have in partnership with de Silva company.

"I noticed it just now. The discrepancies..." Papa encircled lots of numbers on the document.

Then he showed me another document. I took a glance of it. Another financial statements.

"This is the financial statement of the recent project we have with the de Silva company." sabi ko at tiningnan si Papa.

He nodded before he removed his eyeglasses. He massaged his temples and sighed.

"I compared those. The former project with the de Silva started operating five years ago while the recent one we have with them was just a year old, Hope. To think of its gap: the funds we allocated, the market and the revenues... I started to doubt."

Papa was explaining it all to me while my eyes are fixed on the document. Kahit anong basa ko sa mga numero ay walang pumapasok na impormasyon sa isip ko. Ang kabang nararamdaman ay naghahari na sa akin.

"I was planning to make an investigation about it."

Gulat kong tiningnan si Papa.

"Pa,"

We were both looking at each other sharing the same stares. Umalis siya sa pagkakasandal sa kanyang upuan at pinagsalikop ang dalawang kamay.

"I know. Hindi na iba sa atin ang mga de Silva anak pero gusto ko lang manigurado. Let's keep this thing confidential kahit pa sa Mama mo at kay Harvey lalo na sa Lolo mo. I don't want to give them trouble hanggang wala pa namang napapatunayan."

I hardly nodded my head.

"Make a thorough review of the docs, Sofia. I'll proceed with the investigation once I get your confirmation."

The talk with Papa drained me. Umuwi akong pagod. Binuksan ko ang ilaw habang tinatanggal ang heels na suot. I massaged my heel before I slouched on our couch.

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa folder na dala-dala. Papa could be wrong. There's a possibility. Kaagad kong binuksan ang laptop at nagsimulang pag-aralan ang mga dokumento.

I was cooking our dinner while working. Wala pa si Harvey. He always goes home late every Saturday kaya hindi na ako nagulat na wala pa siya ngayon. I groaned nang masagi ko iyong pan. I always get burns even when I am used to cooking.

After putting ointment to my burn, I heard the door clicked open. I know it's him already. Kaagad akong dumiretso sa pintuan upang pagbuksan siya. Pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pinto ay bumagsak na sa'kin ang katawan ni Harvey. Kung hindi pa ako humawak sa door handle ay baka bumagsak na kami pareho.

"Babe!" Nahihirapan kong sinalo ang bigat niya. He breathed out and I smelled liquor.

"Lasing ka na naman." sabi ko at inakay siya papuntang couch.

"Hmm. Bango naman ng girlfriend ko." he chuckled. His hand immediately slid inside my shirt. He found my bra clasp and unclasped it. I groaned when he pulled my strapless bra that easy.

Pareho kaming bumagsak sa couch dahil hinila niya ako nang mahiga siya roon. I was on top of him. He slid his head inside my oversized shirt. Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto pa ang tinagal niya sa loob ng damit ko bago inalis ang ulo niya sa loob ng damit ko.

"Problem?" I asked as I put my shirt in place.

"Inaway ako ni Papa." sumbong niya sa'kin na parang bata. He encircled his arms around my waist while my hands are on his chest.

"Wala raw akong alam kung hindi gastos." He pouted.

I laughed and pinched his nose.

"Totoo naman."

"Tss. Pati ba naman ikaw? Bakit hindi na lang kaya kayo ni Papa?"

"Pinapamigay mo na ako?" I asked. Lalayo na sana ako nang hilain niya ang kamay ko. Umupo siya sa couch at hinila ako papunta sa gitna ng kanyang hita.

"Wala akong sinabing gano'n." he said and rested his head on my stomach. I sighed and started brushing his hair.

"Jo, it's been years na rin since we started living together. I think we should try to live independently like what we planned."

"Independent?" His eyes slid up 'til our eyes locked.

I nodded and continued brushing his hair using my fingers.

"Yeah. We should try not to depend on them too much. Hindi sa lahat ng oras ay nandiyan sila."

"Hindi naman ako humihingi, babe. Kusa nila akong binibigyan."

"Hindi mo naman tinatanggihan." mabilis kong sabi na ikinatigil niya.

Kung hindi ko tinanggihan ang tulong ng mga magulang ko noon ay hindi sila titigil na tulungan ako. And I think Harvey must learn how to turn down offers from his family kung hindi naman niya gaano kakailangan ng tulong.

Nasanay kasi siya na laging may backup sa anumang problema kaya kampante siya na kung magkaproblema man lalo na pagdating sa pera nandiyan ang pamilya niya para tulungan siya. But I don't want that at kahit anong gawin ko para ipatindi sa kanya iyon ay hindi niya maintindihan. Our perceptions are different and I should accept that.

Harvey lacks of focus. That's the problem with him. He has plans but he's not doing his full effort to make it happen. He's always driven to distraction and I'm always here to guide and direct him so is he when I'm being at my unacceptable behavior.

"Masamang tanggihan ang tulong, babe. Hindi naman ako katulad ni France na sobrang taas ng pride."

My lips twitched upon hearing France in our small argument.

Sa mga nakalipas na panahon ay pansin ko ang namumuong pagseselos niya kay France lalo pa noong tinulungan ko si France na makapasok bilang isa sa mga scholars sa hospital ng Kuya niya. Hindi ko iyon pansin hanggang sa nag-away kami tungkol doon noong lasing siya pagkatapos makita ang mahabang thread namin ni France.

Well, I wasn't just helping France when I referred him to be one of his Kuya's scholars. That's for Lav too at si Lav din ang paksa ng usapan namin kaya nagiging mahaba ang usapan namin. That's why I find his jealousy irrelevant.

Kinaumagahan ay maaga kaming bumisita kay Lolo sa golf course. Ang makita siya ay naghatid sa'kin ng magkahalong saya at lungkot.

Masaya dahil kahit matanda na ako ay may Lolo pa rin ako. Hindi lahat ng apo ay nakakasama pa ang Lolo at Lola sa ganitong edad ko. Masaya ako na mahaba ang buhay na ibinibigay sa kanya at mahaba ang panahon na nakasama at makakasama pa siya.

Malungkot dahil saksi ako kung paano siya unti-unting nanghihina. He's getting old and it made me realize that I should give more time for him. Kung noon ay may lakas pa siya na kilitiin ako sa aking talampakan ngayon ay wala na. Though he can still play golf but I've been witnessing how his strength decline so fast. O sadyang mabilis lang talaga ang panahon?

"Lo!" I happily greeted him. I gave him a peck on his cheek and held his right hand to kiss it. I stepped aside to make way for Harvey. He smirked and placed the basket full of fruits on the table.

"Hi Lo." he said and removed his cap before he kissed Lolo's right hand.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang may ibinigay siyang puting sobre kay Lolo.

"What's that?" tanong ko pero ngumiti lang siya at kagat-labing tinitingnan si Lolo na buksan ito.

Humalakhak si Lolo habang binabasa ang nakasulat sa papel. Pagkatapos ay tiningnan kaming dalawa na may ngiti sa labi.

"Akala ko ay wala kang balak mag-propose sa apo ko. Aba't naunahan pa ni Sabrina si Sofia magpakasal."

Huh? Tiningnan ko si Harvey pagkatapos ay si Lolo. They're sharing the same mischievous smile. Lumapit ako kay Lolo at kinuha sa kanya iyong papel na binabasa.

You're invited to Harvey Joseluis C. de Silva and Sofia Brayleigh A. Almendarez wedding.

"A wedding invitation?" I asked and looked at Harvey. Humalakhak siya nang makita ang busangot kong mukha. Kaagad kong tinapon sa kanya ang papel. Kaagad naman akong sinaway ni Lolo sa ginawa.

"Lo, fake news 'yan. Hindi pa nga 'yan nagpo-propose."

"Kailangan pa ba?" tanong ni Lolo kaya mas natawa si Harvey. He hugged me behind and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"'Yon na nga Lo. Puwede na kaming magpakasal. Hindi na kailangan ng proposal. 'Di ba?" he asked and looked at me.

"Seryoso ka?" I asked, totally awed.

"Tama si Harvey, Sofia. Proposal is only done for formality these days." Lolo shrugged.

Well, let's just say that marriage proposal is only for formality but I still want to experience it. Even my answer is a crystal clear yes gusto ko pa ring maranasan iyon. I'm looking forward to his proposal pa naman. Most girls dream of that. Kasama na ako roon.

I look into Harvey's eyes. I can see that he really has no plan on proposing to me. And that hit me. He hates surprises.