If Only You Knew

Chapter 17

Draco rushed home. "Pansy told them. This is not good. One of them will tell Harry. I bet Weaslette will. Oh no. He'll move out right away. This is BAD!" Draco began shaking. He crumpled to the floor. Harry heard a thump in the living room, so he assumed Draco was back. He walked into the living room to find Draco shaking on the floor with his head in his hands. "Dray! Are you ok? What's going on?" Draco didn't say anything. "Is this a panic attack? Have you had one before?" Draco nodded. "How can I help?" Draco still didn't say anything. Harry ran one hand through Draco's hair and held his hand with the other. "It's going to be ok, Dray. I'm here. You're safe. You're with a friend. I'll protect you. I'm not going anywhere." At those words, a tear rolled down Draco's face. Harry picked him up and carried him to their bed. Draco's shaking slowed down a bit. Harry cuddled in close, as he did every night. "It's ok Dray. I'll always be there for you."
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During the night Draco had a few nightmares, but Harry kept whispering the same words, cuddling him and making him feel safe. 

Thinking of Harry leaving him had reminded him of the war, seeing Harry dead, worrying the whole time that Harry would die. It pained him to remember those times. Sometimes he wished that Harry hadn't saved him from the fire because then he never would've had to see Harry dead. But he would have to live with that memory forever. At least he had whatever this was with Harry now. It was nearly perfect. 

After Draco had fallen back to sleep, Harry kissed his forehead. "Poor Draco. He needs to know he's loved."
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Draco woke up to Harry missing from the bed. He could smell green apples coming from the kitchen. "He didn't." Draco got up and went to the kitchen. He saw a huge plate full of apple pancakes. "Harry?" Harry turned around. He ran to hug Draco. "Good morning Dray." Draco smiled. "Did you make these for me because of last night?" Harry nodded. "Maybe. Is that ok?" Draco chortled. "Of course it is. Thank you, Ry." 

While the boys were eating breakfast, Draco realized something. "Hermione Granger, Harry's best friend knows I like him." Draco choked on his pancake. "Dray are you ok?" Draco nodded as he caught his breath. "Yeah, would you want to go to Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley today? Just us?" Harry smiled. "Well I had plans with Ron and Hermione, but I can cancel." Draco beamed. "Now that'll delay him from finding out at least for today." Just then they heard Ron's voice coming from the living room. "I'll go see, wanna come with me?" Draco got up. "Sure." The two boys walked to the fireplace. "Hey, Ron. I'm going to have to cancel our plans today. Dray and I are going shopping." Ron nodded. "We have to cancel too, mate. Mione's going shopping with all the girls she hung out with last night." Draco went ghostly white if getting any paler was possible. Harry smiled. "We'll reschedule. I'm so glad Pansy and Mione have become such good friends." Ron nodded "I'm gonna go, mate. You two have fun." Draco nodded. "Thanks, Ron," Harry said to Ron as his head disappeared from the fireplace. 

"Er- Harry? Maybe we shouldn't go shopping." Harry looked confused. "Whatever you want Dray." Draco smiled. "Hey, Draco? What if we host something like what Pansy and Mione did last night. But like with blokes. I'll invite Ron, Neville, Dean, Seamus and you can invite whoever you'd like." Draco thought about it for a second. "They wouldn't know about it. Other than Blaise and Goyle. Yeah, that sounds fun. Can I invite Blaise, Theo and Goyle?" Harry chuckled. "Yes, go right ahead. I'm going to go to invite everyone. You can invite your friends and then we can set up." Draco nodded. "Sounds good." 

They started walking separate ways. "Wait, Dray? I was thinking I should invite my cousin Dudley. He knows I'm gay and doesn't care. He read a letter I got from Ron and found out. It was weird when he read it. He didn't punch me or make a rude comment. He just said 'that's cool'. Before the war, he told me he never thought of me as a waste of space. I think he finally realized what was going on and that I could die, and he felt bad. I think we should start over. He's an adult now and we've written each other a few times. I think he'll act civil. Is that ok?" Harry paused, waiting for Draco's response. "If that's what you want, of course. But if he hurts you, physically or verbally, I'm not going to hold back from hurting him." Harry nodded. "Alright." 
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Draco and Harry had written all their friends and took turns sending them with Dragon. Everyone had sent back a yes, even Dudley. Harry was a little nervous about Dudley, but the letters they had exchanged were friendly, so Harry had faith it wouldn't be any different in person.

Draco and Harry spent the rest of the day making food, knowing a quarter of it would go to Ron. They made a lot of food for that very reason. Draco had cheered up a bit but he was still worried Harry would find out. He decided he needed to talk to the girls. "Ry, I'm heading out to get you something. Bye." He took the Floo to Diagon Alley. "Point me." He whispered. His wand pointed in the direction of the girls. He followed where his wand lead until he reached them. "Dray? What are you doing here?" Pansy asked. "I need to talk to you six."

"What is it, Dray?" Pansy looked really concerned. She thought maybe something was wrong with Harry. "Pansy, I know you told them about the Harry thing." Pansy's face fell. "Oh, Dray I'm-" Draco interrupted her. "Last night, I went back to your place with Blaise. I heard you tell him. I went straight home and I... I had a panic attack." Hermione looked like she was about to say something, but Draco continued. "I'm alright, Harry helped me through it, the nightmares too. I'm worried that if he learns what happened, he'll leave. I don't want that to be the case. I've been struggling all day, worried one of you will tell him. So can you all please promise you won't?" Pansy hugged Draco. "I promise." Hermione chimed in. "Me too Draco. I won't tell." Draco looked at the other four. "Don't worry Malfoy, I'll keep it to myself," Daphne reassured him. Luna pulled her Spectrespecks out of her purse and put them on. "I can see your head is full of Wrackspurts, so this must really be bothering you. I won't tell Harry, I promise." Cho and Ginny nodded. "I've been in your position and who's to say I wouldn't have done the same thing? I won't tell a soul." Ginny told him. "I won't either. I would never do that to someone." Cho added. "Thanks, everyone. That's really helpful." Pansy let go of Draco and waved goodbye. Draco made his way back to the Floo, but stopped in Rosa Lee Teabags, and bought Harry some tea. He wanted to get him something much nicer, but of course, didn't want to seem too intense. When Draco returned home he was feeling 100% stress-free and very excited for the party later that night.