𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 • (𝐝.𝐦.)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

♔

The next morning, I had successfully managed to get myself to Kings Cross Station. 

Constantly on my guard, always looking over my shoulder, I made my way onto the train and into an empty compartment. 

I sat and worried some more. I knew that Poe was taken to school, but Winnie- what happened to her? I feared my fit of rage had cost me a friend, but there was no way I could possibly know. She was resourceful, maybe she apparated out just in time.  

However many minutes later (I had lost track of the time), there was a gentle knock on the door. 

"Can I come in?" Blaise asked, the door half-way slid open, and I smiled weakly, motioning him inside. 

He wheeled in two trunks and bags slung over his shoulders. "Your stuff, milady," He said with a tone that feigned regality. I managed a chuckle as he sat down across from me.

"I've seen the newspapers," Blaise said, but I had no idea what he was talking about. 

"What?" 

"Are you okay?" He asked me, but I was beyond confused. 

"Am I- What? Why are you asking? What's in the newspapers?" I asked, sitting up slightly, and he pulled the folded up paper out of his back pocket. 

He passed it to me and I opened it up. On the front page, a moving picture of my house burning down was taking up the spread. 

My jaw went slack, "They already know about this?" 

"So you know?" 

"Of course I know. It was my fault," I said sadly, ashamed of the lack of control I had. 

"Your- Oh.  Where's your dad?" He asked, and my face paled. "I don't know, and honestly, I don't care. He's not my dad. He's dead to me," I said. 

"Sorry I asked." 

"It's fine." 

"Have you talked to Draco since the other night? He helped you out, you know, telling you to eat your food and all. It made you look a lot less suspicious to the Death Eaters," Blaise said, and I rolled my eyes. 

"Yeah, he's a real stand up guy," I sarcastically quipped.

The train took off and we headed to Hogwarts. The train ride was supposed to be relaxing. I could watch the view and decompress for a little while, but instead, I was overly occupied with my nerves. 

Anxiety was gnawing at me as I reflected on the news article Blaise had shown me. The whole house burned down. It was my fault. Would my dad turn me in? 

I doubted it, he had too much at stake, but he was unpredictable. There was no way anyone at school would suspect it was me. Was the Ministry alerted of underage Veela magic, or was that classified as natural magic? 

So much was unnerving me, but I had to act normal if I was going to get away with this.

As we got back to the school and took the carts back inside, everything was normal. Umbridge was still on her reign of terror, but that was considered normal after what I had been through over the break. 

So much in my life had changed in a matter of days, and that scared me. 

The fear was almost crippling. I was afraid of hurting my friends so I stayed cooped up in my room during the feast. Nothing would bring me down. 

♔

Throughout our first week back, I kept away from everyone. I kept my head down, not talking to anyone and avoiding the Great Hall. 

I stopped going to the DA meetings. I didn't interact with anybody I didn't have to. 

It seemed like a sad existence, and to be honest, it was. I wasn't eating as much as I used to either. I'd fallen into a pit that I couldn't get out of. 

I was scared. I felt that emotion more than any other. 

Fear. 

What was my dad doing right now? Where was he? What happened after the house burned down? Was he coming after me? Why did he have to kill my mom? 

Nothing made any sense. 

I walked down the corridor towards the Great Hall one afternoon during the time lunch was being held. I just wanted an apple. I wanted one red apple, and that's what I had been craving for the whole week. 

One or two apples a day wasn't enough to sustain anybody, though, but it was all I ate. 

I hated being in the dorms, so every night I was sneaking to the Astronomy tower and sitting there. I sat all night, staring at the sky and waiting for the rest of the castle to fall into a deep enough sleep that I would go undetected. 

As I got to the Great Hall, I walked in and made my way to the Slytherin table. Unfortunately, people noticed. Maybe it was the bags under my eyes or my hollowed cheekbones that gave me away, or the fact that I hadn't shown my face in days except for in class. 

Or maybe it was the way I dressed. I ditched my old jeans and beloved shirts for something that would make me blend in. Black tights, a black skirt, black collared shirt, Slytherin tie and robes left open, and black heeled boots. Simplicity, but still a hint of fun.

The way I dressed was now the only thing that excited me, and even that barely did its job.

I walked over, looking at the fruit platter and array of different colored apples when Blaise stood up from the table. 

I didn't bother sitting. 

"What's going on with you? I haven't seen you in days, and you look-" He started, but when my eyes met his, the dark makeup I had put on to try and hide the extreme eye bags I had seemed to quiet him down. 

"I'm sorry, since when were you my dad?" I said in a hushed tone only he was meant to hear. I picked up a red apple from the table and polished it on my robes. 

"Have you been sleeping?" He asked, and I shrugged. 

"Not really," I said, turning around and walking away. I decided to walk to the Black Lake and sit there for a while, so I went in that direction. 

I sat on the edge, looking at my reflection in the water and wondering what it would be like if I were to just sink into the murky water and disappear forever. 

I took another big bite out of my apple before standing up and wandering to the lake's edge and looking further into it. 

"Don't go too close, or the selkies'll get you," I heard from behind me. 

I turned abruptly, and behind me was Draco... holding his own snack. 

A green apple. 

♔

double update! i really just couldn't wait to update anyway, and i wanted this chapter out there and published. enjoy! also... 6k! thank you!