𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 • (𝐝.𝐦.)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞

♔

Draco and I skipped our midnight meeting after being at the Black Lake for so long. After we talked, we sat in silence for a little while, doing our homework and studying as much as we could. 

We had discussed such a heavy topic before, this was hard to wrap my head around. 

I had to prevent Draco from becoming a Death Eater. I needed him to know the risks, which meant I needed to learn the risks. I was sure there would be something on this topic in the library, so the next morning during my free period, I found myself there. 

Sitting in the far corner of the library, a book about dark wizards had found its way into my hands. I opened the book to its table of contents, scanning the words for something I may find useful. 

As my eyes scanned the brief list of topics, Voldemort's name finally came up. 

I skipped to his chapter and saw extensive information written pages long. I skimmed through until I saw something about his followers:

The Death Eaters was the name given to the most ardent followers of Lord Voldemort. The group primarily consisted of wizards and witches who were radical pure-blood supremacists who practiced the Dark Arts with reckless abandonment, malevolence, and without regard to or fear of wizarding law.

Each member of this inner circle received a mark- The Dark Mark- on their forearm. Once burned into the skin, this mark never came off. All Voldemort had to do was touch the mark of one of his followers and severe, sharp pain would flow through all of his followers with the same mark, summoning them to his side at once. 

I sighed as I read the paragraphs. 

This wasn't Draco. He wasn't cut out for something like this, he was a good person. People didn't give him enough credit, but I saw that underneath his tough exterior, there was a kind-hearted boy. 

He had recently bared his true self to me, and it made me feel even more guilty about all this. 

I didn't think he would really go through with this if the choice was his, but maybe I could convince him to resist. 

His family was behind his ardent need to become a Death Eater, and partially me. I hated that he said he was partially doing this for me. He shouldn't feel like he had to protect me. 

I knew I was in danger, but it was a danger I had to fend off on my own. 

I couldn't have that on my conscience. 

I closed the book with a snap as Umbridge's shrill voice came onto speakers she had magically rigged up all around the school. 

"The first-period time slot has ended. Please get to your second period!" She shrieked throughout the entire castle, and I rolled my eyes, putting the book back. 

My next class was Potions, so I walked through the hallways and down a flight of stairs to get there in a timely manner. When I got inside, I chose to sit down next to Draco instead of Blaise. 

I had to talk to him about what I had read. 

He looked at me as soon as I sat, not used to this being my spot. 

"We need to talk. Tonight," I said, pressing my lips together in a tight, nervous line. 

He nodded. "About what?" He asked, and I shook my head. "I'm not telling you until later. You won't want to talk about it, so you'll just have to wait and see," I said. 

"So... you're essentially trapping me," He said, his expression dull, and I shrugged. "I guess so," I said. 

"Fine, but under one condition," He said. 

I looked into his eyes, not prepared to fulfill any crazy demands, but his gaze softened, making me feel as if I didn't need to worry. 

"My condition is that we have this little talk in the kitchens tonight," He said, confusing me. "What?" I tried getting clarity. 

"You need to eat a meal. We won't leave until you eat an entire plate of food, deal?" 

I hesitated. I really wasn't all that hungry, but maybe he would stop trying to force me to eat if I just gave in to his wishes. He was trying to help me, after all. 

"Fine," I sighed, and he smiled. 

"Besides, your smile is beautiful. I miss it," He said unexpectedly. I felt my cheeks heat up, but I ignored what he said. It would take some getting used to, this side of Draco. 

When he kissed me, I thought it would all be great, but then that night at the Zabini's changed everything. I had felt so betrayed, so hated, and so insecure because of what he said to me, but here we were after he told me he meant none of it, acting as if it had never happened. 

I wanted to scream. This was the most insignificant part of Draco and I's confusing relationship, and we had bigger things to worry about, but here I was overthinking it. 

"I'm sorry, that might've been too soon," He said knowingly, realizing the conflicted look on my face sourced from his words. 

"It's okay," I said, brushing it off completely, wanting to move past it for the time being. 

"Pay attention!" Snape barked and our attention snapped to the front of the class. 

"Is there something more important you two are discussing? Would you like to announce it to the class?" 

"No, professor," I said meekly. 

"Then I would advise you to silence yourselves, that is unless you would like a detention?" 

"No, professor," I said again. 

Draco was silent by the side of me, and I wondered why he never spoke up, but it wasn't all that important. "So... tonight in the kitchens? Midnight?" Draco whispered. 

"Yes, fine, but shut up, you'll get us in trouble," I hissed. 

He stopped talking then at my command, but out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the sly smirk creeping onto his face. 

Idiot. 

♔

mmm do i write draco in a way that i would want a relationship with someone? sure. am i embarrassed that this is a sad, pathetic way of dealing with my fear of committing to a real live person? a little. will i continue this morbidly unhealthy trend that stunts my actual ability to interact with people and heightens my standards to a ridiculous level? yes. yes, i will.