Don't Mask, Don't Tell

Chapter 8

I feel a lump form in the back of my throat and my voice cracks as I try to speak, "P-please don't..."

Why am I getting so emotional?

Axel slowly spins me around and cups my chin in his hand, meeting my eyes. "I know we just met, but there's something here. I know you feel it too." He smiles confidently. "What's the harm in getting to know me? I'm really not that bad." He chuckles trying to lighten the mood.

My eyes begin filling with tears. I sniffle quietly as they threaten to spill over...

I never cry.

I pray my body looks calmer in comparison to my tangled mind as a solemn tear falls down my cheek.

Him holding me like this triggers suppressed self-doubt. I'm terrified of letting someone in again and I'm even more terrified of being second best.

He probably has tons of women throwing themselves at him. Why would he choose me?

Not only was I suddenly feeling insecure, but I was flooded with memories of my last relationship. Jack used to steal special moments with me at work and here I am in another man's arms in that same office.

This feels like an eerie deja vu and I can't face another inevitable end.

I just can't.

"I-I'm sorry," I say in a quiet stutter. With shaking hands, I try to cover my face.

I'm humiliated.

He pushes my hands away and gently wipes my rogue tear before pulling me close. "No, I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

I whisper into his chest, "Don't apologize; it's not your fault." Burying my thoughts, I push my anxiety aside. This is very unprofessional and unlike me. I mumble quietly, "I'm so embarrassed."

He sweetly responds, "Olivia, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm here if you ever want to talk about it." He gently rubs my back, easing my mind.

Stop being so nice to me.

He has already seen me be more vulnerable than most and probably thinks I'm crazy now, too.

I don't know what came over me. I just cried in front of this man I barely knew. Years of not feeling wanted had bubbled to the surface in mere seconds. I'm not sure if it was because of his genuine smile or his kind eyes, but I felt like he honestly cared. Apart from the Alvarez family, no one seemed to truly care about me...

This is a new feeling and it's daunting.

I pull away from his arms and grab some napkins from the bottom of my purse.

I see his blazer, now with spots of makeup on it. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!" I apologize. "Let me take this and get it dry cleaned for you."

He jokingly responds, "Are you trying to get me undressed, again?"

He definitely knows how to relieve the tension.

In more ways than one...

I blush and tease back, "Do you always make everything sound inappropriate?"

We both let out a laugh as the tense mood in the room lifts. He sees that I'm not ready to open up about my past and doesn't mention it again.

I still feel like an idiot for crying, but he's unfazed.

We spend the rest of the day diving into the structure of the existing scholar program and the changes I have implemented. He listens intently, never breaking eye contact, but my focus is fading fast as his leg brushes against mine.