The year that changed it all

The Dark Mark

Draco's POV

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It's the third week of summer and I got the dark mark two days ago. I feel really depressed and like I am surrounded by death right now but mother said I will get used to it soon. Mother has been taking care of me since I got it. I fainted when I got it because of the pain it made me feel. I woke up in my bed the next day and mother was sitting on the edge of my bed stroking my face with the back of her hand. It felt really comforting just like how I felt with Harry, except I love Harry in a different way than I love my mother.

I have gotten two letters from Harry this summer but I can't risk to send any back because right now, the dark lord is living in the Manor and if I send something to Harry, then Harry will think it's ok to send something back and that would mean the dark lord coming in contact with one of the letters is a higher possibility which would not be good.

Somehow, neither my parents or the dark lord know that I am with Harry yet. I think mother knows that I am dating someone because of her 'motherly instincts' but she doesn't know who. Father is completely oblivious and the dark lord is too focused on how to kill my boyfriend than anything else about him. I mean, I'm not complaining because if they did know, god knows what would happen to the two of us.

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The summer is now over and mother and I are going to Kings Cross. I'm a bit nervous to see Harry since I kind of ignored him the whole summer. I didn't want to, I had to. For his own safety. He also still doesn't know about the dark mark and I actually have it now. I am once again wearing a jumper but in case Harry needs it, I am wearing a long sleeve top underneath it to cover my mark.

I said goodbye to mother and I am walking down the train now. I got here later than I did last year and so Harry was already in our carriage at the end. I opened the door and he smiled at me and hugged before sitting down again.

"Happy birthday for yesterday, finally your sixteen." I said to him to try and lighten the mood. I know he didn't go further than a hug because I have been ignoring him all summer.

"Thanks," He said and then looked out of the window as the train started to move away from the platform.

"Harry, I'm really sorry I didn't write to you this summer, I had a lot going on and it's really hard to explain but you have to trust me that I ignored you for your own safety." I said to him in a quiet voice.

He turned to me and had a soft smile.

"It's alright Dray, whenever you're ready, tell me what you were going to tell me at the end of last year and about your summer." He said in a sad but understanding voice.

I nodded and then looked out of the window too. After about fifteen minutes of silence, Harry came over to my side of the compartment and sat next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder and I leant mine on his head. We sat like that for a while before I said,

"Cold?"

"A bit," Harry chuckled quietly.

I didn't mind that he always wore my jumpers, I had way too many and he looked really cute in them too.

I was taking off my jumper when my sleeve on my top got pulled up a bit and revealed a bit of the dark mark. I tried to tilt my arm away from Harry and I pulled down my sleeve as fast as I could. Luckily he didn't notice but I need to tell him soon or be more careful with it.

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Hi guys so just to tell you, there will be a little paragraph with self harm in it next chapter but I put in bold writing before and after the paragraph to warn you about it so please look out for that if self harming triggers you. The photo at the beginning of the chapter is a drawing of what the self harm is so please don't look at the picture if it triggers you.

Summary of next chapter (warning of how bad the self harm is):

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Basically Draco feels frustrated, guilty, and afraid by the fact that he let himself get the Dark Mark, even if he didn't necessarily want to have it. He ends up being in Myrtle's bathroom one day and in his fit of panic, he tries to scratch off the mark. It obviously doesn't work because it's in his skin and he starts bleeding. He accepts defeat even though it makes him feel broken and weak. 

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I hope you know that in no way am I promoting self harm by writing about it. I think that there are a lot of other ways to deal with things and they are a lot better than self harming and I hope that if you know someone who does or if you self harm then please, reach out to people. It seems hard I know but it is worth it, it really is. I also know its different for everyone and I myself have had experience with it but I have found solutions that are better than harming myself or punishing myself physically and I feel a lot happier.

If you want to reach out to someone but don't feel comfortable telling people you know, then you can always reach out to me and I will be here for you :) I hope your all doing well!

Have a great day! <3