A Pastor's Daughter's Diary

Springing Anew

Dear Jesus,

I love Disney Princess movies, my favourite being the story of Beauty and the Beast.
The epic moment, that literally had me in tears, was the point when the spell was broken.
The beast was transformed to the handsome prince and the whole castle lit up. That moment in the movie mirrors my life right now.
I sing along with Rapunzel, but this time to you, Jesus:
And at last I see the Light,
And it's like the fog has lifted,
And at last I see the Light,
And it's like the sky is new,
And it's warm and real and bright,
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different,
Now that I see You.

Got a new journal-diary on my way back home and I can't wait to start this journey with you by my side.
Today is like the greatest day of my life so far. The day I finally let you into my heart and oh, how I wish I'd done this earlier, because now I've found true joy and peace.

God bless Kathlyn. I feel like she's an angel sent from you as a harbinger of this bliss I now enjoy. When she newly came as a transfer student and was placed in my class, I didn't think anything was going to be different. It is now!

A week after she came, the girls felt she was weird cos of the way she always smiles irrespective of the situation. Can you believe she was smiling when we had that horrific, impromptu math test while everyone else was literally in tears?

Kathlyn is also, so-to-say, reserved (that's the polite word). The actual word the girls use to mock her is "anti-social". The translation being that she doesn't participate in the meaningless girl-gossip about crushes, bffs, teachers, fashion-fads, et cetera, and that she is always reading either her school notes or her Bible.

I also initially had that wrong notion that she's odd, but when her seat was transferred next to mine, I got to meet the real her.
She isn't a snob or a religious fanatic; she's rather nice, and genuine, and oooh so beautiful. I'm sure the guys are secretly drooling over her, and would surely have flirted with her if she was the loose kind. Jesus, I must say, you must have created her when you were really happy.
Long story short, she became my seat-mate, and eventually, my human bestie.

Last Friday, she invited me to her church for a programme exclusively for teenage girls-"Daughters of Zion". There, I was convicted by the message that centered on us being purchased by your precious blood. It was as if I was the target of the message and your arrows stuck in me bull's eye. I knew that you were calling out to me knocking at the door of my heart.
The burden on my heart was so strong that my countenance throughout the weekend was heavy cos I was struggling in my heart. I didn't want to admit that I was a wretched sinner-I am a pastor's daughter for crying out loud. Still, I knew that I was exposed under your intense, searching light.

My mom noticed that I was unusually sober throughout the weekend. Seeing that I am her only child and a girl at that, she knows me as well as she knows her song lyrics.
My mom is a pro when it comes to music. She has a degree in music theory and she is the choir director of True Worshipers Choir in our Church-The Redeemer's Love.
She tried probing but I casually told her not to worry that I'd be fine, excusing myself with the flimsy lie that maybe it was one of my hormonal emotions again.

"Radiance, my star," she said as she put a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye when we were cleaning the kitchen on that bright, yet heavy, Saturday morning, "I'll be praying for you."

Words cannot describe the relief I felt when she uttered those words at that moment cos I knew she meant it.

Thank you so much Jesus, for blessing me with wonderful, godly parents. I know it's because of their prayers and the covering I enjoy under them that I have not become a prey in the devil's hand.
Lord, I see your light in them everyday-how they serve you faithfully even in the face of persecution, ridicule and little; how they do all in their possible power to bring me up in the way of the Lord.
They are not swimming in money but they are swimming in your love. They were the first contact I had with you. The only problem was that I was so blinded by other things that I couldn't see you personally. I was caught up doing stuff to appear religious and 'holy'. Even going to church every week became a mere compulsion and routine. I had a form of godliness but denied the power thereof.