Bittersweet

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CHAEYOUNG's POV

When Jisoo Unnie told me earlier this morning to expect for the worst, I never expected it to be like this.

I was utterly shocked and confused with everything I am witnessing right now.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I watched Lisa's direction. She knelt down in front of the graves as she gently placed the box she was holding in between them.

"It's been so long.......Mom....Dad......." Lisa whispered softly as she ran her fingers at the gravestone where her mother lies.

I unconsciously covered my mouth as I shifted my gaze between her parents' grave. I turned my direction at Jennie and she just sadly nods at me and look at Lisa.

"But Lisa's Mom is in Thailand right? She left her after the accident and settled her life there. She told me that once." I whispered at Jisoo but the latter just shook her head and smiled painfully..

"Lisa's Mom is with them during the accident Chaeyoung." Jisoo mumbled regretfully.

"Like her Dad, she didn't also make it." she smiled painfully as she look at Lisa's direction.

"Oh God.." I gasped as tears starts welling up my eyes.

Suddenly I remembered how she told me about her memories during our date at the roof deck.

She told me how she used to hate it.

How it makes her vulnerable

How she always lose herself from it over and over..

How she confessed of altering and changing her memories so she could still hold on to the last thread of her sanity.

"Lisa, she never talked about her parents and the accident. Even to me, her bestfriend." Jisoo narrated which brought me back to my senses.

"It was only Jennie who knew all the details. She's the one who told me everything." Jisoo confessed.

"That's why it was really surprising for us to see how she was able to tell you those things easily." she added.

"You really had that connection with her since the very beginning, Chaeyoung." she uttered, her eyes still fixed at the woman in front of them.

That accident brought Lisa an overwhelming trauma that her mind automatically blocked everything that would remind her of her most painful memory." Jisoo said with a faint voice.

I gasped as I started to comprehend everything she said before.

"And it's not the accident, but her memories with her Mom that she blocked." I whispered almost inaudibly as I recalled Lisa's words over and over.

"Its not the bad ones that hurt you the most but it's the good memories that drive you insane."

For years I used to live like that Chaeyoung.
I even came to the point where I changed and manipulated my memories

"It didn't take away the pain though."

"But I was able to hold on with my last thread of sanity from it"

"It somehow lessened the guilt but there was not a single night that I woke up with nightmares because of that..

"Those memories that used to be the happiest one is now a nighmare that haunts me forever."

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