Kairavi

Chapter 37

The royal physician had an inscrutable expression on her face. She instantly lowered her eyes when the kuru kumars and Draupadi shot questioning gazes at her.

"So?" Nakul stepped forward to peek inside. Ayurvati opened her fisted palm to expose a leaf, stained with blue dye.

Sahadev's eyes widened and he jerked his twin's arm to get his attention.

"NO!" Nakul snatched the leaf from her, and began examining it. "What? What!!?" Draupadi demanded an answer but he ignored her. "But the symptoms? Fatigue, overeating and weird cravings?"

"Irregularities in ovulation, rajkumar. You know better than me." She nervously answered, fearing a punishment.

"Nakul!" Bheem grabbed his shoulders impatiently. "What is it?" 

Nakul's lip quivered as tears welled up in his eyes. "Kairavi can't conceive, jyeshth bhrata." 

Panchali gasped at his statement. The other two pandavs had a similar reaction and it seemed like misfortune had kicked them in the shins again.

The irony was agonizing. The poor girl, who had such a motherly heart, was not destined to experience the bliss of motherhood.

All of them rushed inside Arni's chamber to check on her. She looked so small, hugging her knees to her chest as soft sobs wrecked through her body.

Yudhishthir gestured Draupadi to make the first move. Her brows scrunched up with sympathy as she approached the gloomy soul.

"Arya.." She thought it was one of her husbands. "It's me, Kairavi." She looked up with bloodshot eyes and threw herself in her arms. Panchali rubbed her back and stroked her hair, "It's okay, shh." But Chandraja was inconsolable.

Shyama started crying herself seeing her pitiful state. "You have three kids already, Arni. Don't you?" She cupped her face and made her look into her eyes, "It doesn't make a difference. You are still a mother and they are your own children."

"I need to be alone, jiji." A fresh set of tears brimmed in her orbs as a result of Panchali's words. 

She nodded and gave her the space she needed. Sahadev wanted to go and hug the life out of her, but he thought it'd be better that she comforted herself first.

Every woman has desired to have children at some point of their lives, and Kairavi did too. 

'I was supposed to carry my father's lineage on Earth. What sins did I commit in my past life that I have to atone for it now?' The voices inside her head added fuel to the pain. There was nobody in the entire Kuruvansh who could understand what she was going through. Panchali tried to make her feel better, but there was only so much she could do.

Arni refused to eat or drink the entire day, which made her family even more worried. She didn't even come out of her room and just sat there, leaning back on the frame of the bed. 

Her eyes appeared empty as they stared at the ceiling. Nakul and Sahadev tried to assuage her multiple times, but all in vain. Her sorrow didn't budge from its place.

Hours and hours passed as silent tears flowed down her cheeks, for there was no end to her pain. Her eyes were puffed and droopy with all the crying. Soon, darkness took her in its arms and sent her into a deep sleep.

Kairavi opened her eyes at the same spot she had been in before. Just as soon as grogginess faded, the memories of the past day settled in again. She sighed and rubbed her face.

Her hand hit something while reaching out for the jug beside the bed. She looked down to find a man's head on her lap. He was staring up at her with twinkling eyes.

"Ghatotkach?" 

"I heard you haven't stopped crying since yesterday. So I came to scold you." He said in a stern voice, but it was soft enough to make Arni sniff out a laugh.

"The clouds of anguish rain in the form of tears, putra. Sometimes it is impossible to make them stop." 

"There is no cloud in the world which the sun can't sieve." He took her hand in hers. "There is a reason why I call you choti ma. Your aura, your presence, and you; 
You are enough to calm a distressed mind.

The clouds of melancholy hide away from you, ma. 

You know? Only mothers can do that for her kids. But the affection and kindness in your heart is so vigorous, that you don't need to give birth to an individual to achieve that. It's already there."

Kairavi kissed his forehead and caressed his face. "I'm still mad at you for growing up so fast." She smiled through her tears. "I wasn't flattering you when I said your embrace felt like my mother's womb." He affirmed while snuggling in her lap.

She stroked his bald head while wiping off her face.

"That's true, love." Sahadev remarked. Both of them lifted their heads to find him and Nakul standing at the door. 

"Infertility doesn't make you any less of a woman. All it makes you, is more loving and strong-willed." The youngest pandav said while walking up to her.

They both sat down at her feet, on either side of Ghatotkach. "You have so many kids already. Perhaps God didn't want your love to be divided amongst more." He put a hand on her knee.

"And it's your duty to love all of your kids equally, regardless of their number. Especially the ones you married." Nakul's last sentence was enough to set her crying again; but this time, it was out of happiness. How did she find such a loving family in this cruel world?

"I must've done some real good deeds in my past life, that I found you all."