Soothe | Bakugo x Reader

Chapter 24

"Who the fuck invented education?! I'm going to turn back time and murder them at this rate! This fucking sucks!"

Throwing the fifth piece of scrunched up paper at the trash can in the corner of my room, I slump against my headboard with a small whine. My whole bedroom was a mess. It was as if a stationary store exploded in here. Pens strewn across my bed. Crumpled paper beginning to congregate around my trash can. Highlighters and flash cards rest on my nightstand ready to be used. Folders full of my class notes were lined up in order of topic ready to be condensed into flash cards. My forehead creasing as I frown at the revision guide spread out in front of me.

The more I stare at my books, the more frustrated I get. No matter how hard I tried to find the will of making my brain work, I couldn't get anything. I knew the answers to the questions, I know I knew them, but the answer wasn't popping into my head. I couldn't write the answers to the questions down. It's so frustrating and the more I dwell on it the more upset and anxious I'm becoming...

My coffee wasn't calming me down either, no matter how hard I tried to calm myself down and keep a level head I couldn't. The thing is, I couldn't drop the studying because I have an exam in a matter of days!

But I'm fine...

Today just hasn't been the best day for me. I haven't had a good nights sleep. My mind has been out to get me for some bizarre reason. I couldn't even cook without burning or cutting my fingers so I had to give that a miss for the day. My anxiety has been through the roof. I threw up my breakfast this morning after trying to keep it down. The only things I've really had is water or coffee...

After going a couple months without an attack, I had a nightmare sprung upon me out of the blue last night. The same nightmare. Where I'm running and running and running until I trip over and they're looming over me. Which then causes a domino effect. My anxiety spiking in turn. Which, in turn, makes me feel frustrated at myself which then makes me feel like shit... which then makes me irritable and frustrated at anything that I do. For example, breaking a plate when the presentation of the food goes wrong and throwing a knife into the sink when I sliced part of my finger.

But really... I'm fine...

Sighing to myself, I run my fingers through my hair and release a small pitiful whine. Small tears beginning to bunch up in the corners of my eyes as I stare at the questions but nothing is coming up. I know I know the answer! Why isn't my brain doing anything?! A small groan leaves my lips as I grip my hair in frustration and rest my elbows on my knees. My heart beating against the bone cage of my ribs as I take a deep breath and close my eyes. A small shaky sob pushes past my lips as I lean back.

Maybe I need more coffee...

Grabbing my mug, I slide off my bed (being careful of the notes sprawled across it) and head out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. A weak smile playing on my lips as Sakino peeks her head over the couch and watches as I sort the coffee machine out and turn it on. The rich smell of coffee making me relax slightly as I lean against the kitchen counter and groan.

"You coming away from it yet?" She asks, the girl having given up trying to pull me away from my work when I'm as frustrated as this. Knowing that it could work me up more if she forcefully makes me do something. Sakino's antennae glowing a soft faint blue as I shake my head, "Honey, you need to take a step back from it or you'll burn yourself out more..."

"No... I need to keep studying," I tell her, filling my mug with the piping hot coffee as she slumps into the couch with a sigh, "I have an exam coming up and I need to do well on it..."

"Okay... where's your phone?" She asks gently, looking up toward me as I sip at my coffee and go to head back into my room, "Is it with you in your room? You don't want to distract yourself while you study,"