I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Forty Three

Ginny and I are now back on speaking terms with only a week left of school, its' good because it took a lot of stress off with exams and everything. We haven't really talked about if she does have feelings for Harry though. We have exams in two days and I am more stressed than ever. I sort of hate it when people tell me to calm down, it just makes me more frustrated. But that's what everyone does rather than actually listening to what I'm saying about how much pressure I feel when it comes to schoolwork. Harry used to do it too until he took notice of how much it bothers me. Hermione understands, which is nice. Of course on top of everything I have to say goodbye to everyone in a few days.

I don't like to think about it for too long since it brings me so much sadness. I am excited to spend time with my parents but I wish there was a way I could do both like at Christmas time. It's already 8:30 which leaves me only one more day to study and only about five days to squeeze every ounce of good memories out of this year.

The common room is filled with people. Hermione and Ron have been playing chess for hours now, each time Hermione loses. Chess is the only thing to at Ron can hold over Hermione's head and it agonizes her. It's funny to watch the progression of frustration. She loses the first game and says something all the lines of "that was only the first game" or "I made a silly mistake, let's play again" and then once she loses the next few she can't stop playing because she has to win. Of course she never does and gives up after a while but I like the determination. Once in a while Ron will lose one on purpose just to see Hermione's face light up. It's so obvious that he fancies her but I don't want to spoil anything for either of them. I just can't wait till the day they start dating so I can't say that I knew it the whole time. Speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends, where's Harry?

Almost everyone is in the common room but I don't see him around. The only other person I don't see is Ginny. My heart starts to race, I trust him. I would trust him with my life but I don't know why I always come up with the absurd ideas. I walk over to Neville, Dean, and Seamus. I can tell Neville is babbling on about plants agin by the annoyed looks on Seamus and Dean's faces. I don't understand why people won't just give Neville a chance though, will it really hurt to take ten minutes out of your day to listen to something that really fascinates him that much? Anyways I ask them if they've seen Harry and Neville opens his mouth to say something but Seamus quickly hits him on the arm making him stop.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't know where Harry is, sorry." Dean answers for them. He sounds robotic while saying it. My mouth begins to feel dry and my stomach is now in a knot.

"I know you're lying." I say in the most stern voice I can, demanding their answer.

"Go to the quidditch pitch." Seamus says. Dean smacks his forehead and Neville's eyes widen. I'm guessing he wasn't supposed to tell me that.

"Thank you." I say very sincerely as I walk past them out the portrait hole.

I walk slowly to prepare myself for what I'm about to see. I'm scared out of my mind, but a little confused why he would be at the quidditch pitch. Unless he's not actually there and they just said that to distract me. Although I don't think that they would be able to come up with that on the spot and even if they didn't I'm too curious not to go down there.

This brings me back to the fact that Ginny was the only other person not in the common room that I'm aware of, obviously there was other people not there but she's the only one who stands out to my negative self.

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Once I get down there, it's empty. In other words I was fooled by Dean, Seamus an Neville. I don't have the energy for going back to the common room, and I don't want to face those foul boys who made a mockery out of me. So I take a seat in the bleachers and come up with all of the worst possible situations. It's actually quite nice out. The air is warm and a little humid. Although I like humidity, I know most people hate it but my hair doesn't get frizzy and it's warm especially at night. It reminds me of summer, the good part at least. The no school work and time with my other friends at home. And being able to eat dinner with my parents, and going to bed and waking up whenever I please.

I can't believe that I might end this year without Harry. Just to see him smile sends a rush of joy through me. Now it might all get ripped away in one night. Even worse is that the cause of it might be my best friend.

There is the off chance that I'm over thinking all of this and he's just in his room or something. But that's wouldn't make any sense because of how Seamus, Neville and Dean acted when I asked them a simple question such as where he was.

"I thought I told those gits not to tell you to come down here until 9:30? I was stupid to think they could actually be able to do something as simple as that." I whip my head over to see Harry walking towards me on the bleachers with a slight frown.

I whisper to my self "Please don't be here to apologize for something." He didn't here me luckily. He sits with me and looks at me for a few moments before speaking up.

"What have you been doing while you where waiting?" He asks, clearly avoiding the real reason why we are here.

"Just thinking." I say dryly.

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, then takes my hand that was resting on the wooden bleacher into his and moves it into his lap before answering. "Gab, I'm sorry." He starts. Once those words came out it felt like they were each taking turns taunting me. I can almost feel the instant misery physically as my stomachs begins to ache horribly.

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I know I usually post once a day but I am going to have to switch to trying for at least once every other day because of my busy schedule. Although today I am posting two chapter because I've missed a few days without any explanation. I hope you can understand and bear with me!!