I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Fifty Five

Harry walks me all the way back to my room. He seems guilty even though it's not his fault, I'm the one who told him to go away.

"Gab, I'm so sorry you had to see that, we'll get a night together like we had planned as soon as possible." He says.

I nod and give him a hug Goodnight like usual, only tonight he holds onto me for a few extra seconds. Once we let go of each other he looks at me with a look of pure sorrow. It just breaks my heart, to see him like this. I think that even though he hates Malfoy, he almost just witnessed another death and it might take him a while to recover from that. I don't blame him for it though.

"Goodnight love." He says breaking the silence.

"Goodnight Harry." I say, as he turns away I can't just let him go like that "Harry, if you don't sleep tonight I expect you to tell me tomorrow." I say, he turns back to me and nods with a forced smile.

Once I walk into my room Ginny is sitting in her bed looking at some magazine and Hermione is on the floor leaned against the post of her bed reading a large novel. I think that my face said it all.

"What happened?" Hermione asks.

"I don't want to talk about it." I reply. They look at each other and exchange concerned looks. I go over to pick out an outfit to go to sleep in. I just get a pair of shorts and one of Harry's sweatshirts hoping that might provide me with some comfort. I climb into bed and lay there thinking about what just happened, and about Harry and how he's doing right now. All I care about is if he's ok. But I decide I shouldn't keep it all bottled up inside.

"Harry and I went to the astronomy tower to spend time together like we always do, only when we got up there Malfoy had one foot on the railing and his hands placed as if he where going to help himself over the edge. You get the rest." I say emotionlessly. Both of their eyes widen.

"Do you think Harry was right about him being a death eater?" Hermione asks.

"Yeah. I thinks it's finally driven him mad actually." I reply.

"That's just terrible." Hermione says.

"Why did you help him?" Ginny asks.

"Why? Are you really asking me why? What would you do Ginny? Would you just leave him there when you know so clearly what's going on that it makes you sick to your stomach. And no matter how much you've hated him in the past you know that it would be cruel and unforgivable to go without even trying to stop him. So now tell me, Ginny why did I help him." She begins to speak "No I'll tell you why. Because I didn't have a choice."

Both of them don't have anything else to say after my outburst. What did she expect after a question like that?

Hopefully Ginny doesn't take it too hard though, ever since last year when I accused her of liking Harry our friendship hasn't been back to normal. It's close but it quite, and I'm not trying to hold anything against her anymore. I told her that multiple times. It might be hard for her to forgive me though, after that. I probably embarrassed her a little bit.

She apologizes before blowing her candle out which results in Hermione doing the same. I think I sort of killed the mood with that.

Before I fall asleep I replay the whole scene in my head over and over trying to figure out what changed his mind. I have a feeling that it wasn't Emily.

I noticed how defensive he got when Harry mentioned his mother, I've never met his mother before. Only his cruel father, I have a feeling his mother might be different than Lucius. More caring for Draco, more like a comfort person. She may be the only person in his entire family who actually cares about his well being and future. And not just the death eater future, his actual future, like a family and a job that doesn't consist of working with Voldemort.

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It's been a few days since our indecent with Draco. We decided we are going to Hogsmeade to take our mind off things, Ron and Hermione are coming along too.

Unfortunately Ron and Lavender have parted ways. Something about Ron telling her that she snogs him too much and her taking it not so well. I don't think she was the one to break up though, I think she overreacted and then Ron couldn't take it anymore. Hermione tried to hide her excitement when he has told us late at night in the common room but I could see her smiling.

It's snowy today, I love it when it snows. It's such a beautiful thing that nature provides. Little flakes of frozen water particles fall from the sky leaving a big white blanket on the ground and everything else it lands on.

First we go into Three Broomsticks of course, we each get a butterbeer. Hermione downs hers in ten seconds at the most. I usually don't finish mine. Harry and Ron don't even take more than a few sips. Harry's feeling better today though, I can tell by his consistent smile. I can see Hermione's got some whipped cream on her top lip, I was about to point it out subtly but Ron beat me to it. I can see the instant embarrassment on her face. She takes the sleeve of her sweater and wipes it off.

Once we are walking back through the snow, I notice the effect the butterbeer has taken on Hermione's judgment. She's acting awfully ditzy. Not like her normal self, she keeps walking ahead of the three of us and laughing at random things. As we catch up to her she puts her arms around Harry and Ron. Harry looks at me and I just shrug.

We stop in our tracks when we hear a blood curdling scream that came from right in front of us. Two girls are there along with a book, one is standing in horror the other on the ground. She tries to explain that she told her friend not to touch the book but she didn't listen. The girl on the ground begins to move back and fourth like something was dragging her then she lifts up into the air. We all watch in disbelief of what's happening. Her body is pulled back down to the ground, she lays there lifelessly. We begin to go over to her but Harris comes up and instructs us not to, he tells Harry to get the book but not to touch a specific part of it. I wasn't paying that close attention I was watching the girl, apparently it was Katie Bell. As we are walking back Hermione scolds Harry a few times for almost getting himself hexed.

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I recently found out that in the movies and books that they're really was a very small amount of alcohol in the butterbeers which surprised me since they drink it where they're like thirteen