I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Nineteen

Harry and I have barely talked for the past few days since our dispute in the common room. Funny how one sentence can make you slightly hate a person. Hate's a strong word though. I know that we won't fight forever but I'm still upset with him. I don't really know how he is feeling. Whether he is mad, sad, guilty, or all of the above. I would hope he knows he was completely out of line to say what he said to me. I was also in the wrong for snapping at him like that. We were both wrong... but he was more wrong per usual. Now if only I could've said that all to him. Then again I don't know how he's feeling. What if he is furious with me? I know him pretty well so probably not, but there's still a chance. If I'm being honest, I've missed having our daily conversions or doing normal things together. Harry and I don't get into fights that often but when we do, we both hate it. However both of us are too proud to be the first to say it.

I see him in the hallway talking with some of his other friends. I watch him as I walk bye, once I see him look at me I turn my head forward and keep walking to my next class which so happens to be Potions where I sit next to him. Snape enforced this new rule in his class which was that we had to have assigned seats because, well he really didn't have a good reason probably just to make our lives more of a nightmare for his own enjoyment. Anyways he assigned me and Harry the desk closest to the front on the right. It's been awkward. We barely talk during class and if we have to we don't say much.

Today we have to work with partners on a potion which I dread doing. It'll force me to talk to Harry the whole class period. We have to make this potion called Pepperup Potion. I used it once. Madam Pomfrey gave me some when I had a bad cold a few years ago.

"It says that we need two pinches of crushed Bicorn Horn." Harry mumbles. I get that along with the rest of the ingredients so we can start. We make most of the potion in silence until Harry finally addresses our fight. "I shouldn't have said that, I appreciate you being my friend. I was just mad that you wouldn't stop doing your smart people stuff to play quidditch." He says.

"Yeah, honestly it kind of made me think maybe we just shouldn't be friends anymore." His jaw drops, "Just kidding" I say.

"I'll get you back for that one." He nudges me.

"Anyways, I'm sorry I got all annoying with my studying." I admit.

"So, have you done anything with that Veritaserum?" He asks. I know what I want to do but that's just completely unethical. I can't force Harry to tell me how he feels, it needs to come from him.
"No, I don't really know what I would do with it though." I lie, there are plenty of things I could do with it. But I'm a good person so realistically speaking I've got nothing. Really though, why would a professor give out a truth potion to any random student? What am I supposed to do with it that wouldn't get me a detention? Maybe that's just the whole point, knowing Professor Snape.

"Very well done Gabriella, and Potter I guess." Snape says walking over to our table. Harry gives his usual eye roll and ignores him. Sometimes the other students can't help but laugh at the mistreatment Harry gets in this class.

At lunch I sit next to Harry again. We have sat in different seats for the past few days to be further away from each other. When we are in our normal spots again everyone around us kind of looks for approval to say something. "Don't worry guys, the 'fight' is over." I say. They all look relieved because nobody usually chooses a side when it's me and Harry since we are pretty much equally close with all of our friends. Instead it just makes it really awkward for everyone until it's over.

Although Harry and I are back on good terms I don't know if we are back to normal. What he said really hurt me, I hope he doesn't really mean that. This is the first time I've ever truly questioned our friendship. If Harry really thinks those things, that I'm just a deadweight getting in the way of him defeating The Dark Lord, then why are we even friends in the first place? Uh oh. I know what to use the Veritaserum for.
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