Obsessed [book: one] // Thiam

Chapter 46

I stand there, unable to move or speak. I try to understand and process what Theo said, unsure if I misheard him or misunderstood him. Surely, he can't be asking me to pack up my whole life, the life I've built here, in Beacon Hills, to run away with him.

I clear my throat, suddenly noticing how hot it was inside. I feel faint, my head begins to spin. I sit down, taking a shaking breath in and out.

"Come with me," he repeats, kneeling down in front of me, resting his hands on my knees. "It'll be me and you against the world, babe."

I smile at the thought of that. Theo and I, against the whole world. Just the two of us, going wherever we want, whenever we want. It sounds like a dream come true, but reality will get in the way. It always does.

"Theo," I finally whisper, my throat dry.

He slowly slides his hands off my knee, his face softening as he does this. He looks me in the eyes, looking at me as though knows... as though he already knows my answer.

A lump forms in my throat, making it hard to access air. My eyes fill with tears as I look into glossy eyes. I grab his hand, unable to say my next sentence.

"I can't just get up and leave everyone like that. I can't just leave my parents like that, I can't just leave Mason and all my other friends," I finally tell him, my voice strained.

Theo nods his head slowly, zoning out. He tilts his head slowly, looking up at me and smiling slightly.

A small part of me wants to think that he's changing his mind. That he's thinking about everything and realizing how bazar he sounds.

"What's happened?" I ask him, trying to get a better grasp on his point of view.

Theo takes a shaky breath in, squeezing my hand tightly as he closes his eyes. I can tell that he's struggling, I've been about to see that since the moment we met.

"Okay," he whispers. "He wouldn't leave me alone, Gabe. He wouldn't leave me alone until I did one more small thing for him. I had to drop off a package to one of his friends, but I refused. I just wanted to get back to you. He wouldn't leave me alone, he hit me, and I couldn't take it anymore."

"I lashed out, and just started hitting him. He got in a few good hits, but I can keep living like this. I can't let him have the control that he has over me. I hit him until he wasn't able to hit me anymore and then I got up and left."

The tears fall down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. I can tell he has regrets; I can tell he didn't mean to do it... but his eyes look blank. Like he has no emotions. His body shakes slightly as he stares off into the distance.

I move off the coach to kneel beside him, kissing his hands. I sit there, trying to think of what to say or do. I can't lose him; I refuse to lose him.

He continues to cry, wiping his tears with his sleeve. I embrace him in a hug. He rest his head on my chest, crying as we sit there. I kiss the top of his head, fighting back my urge to cry. I blink rapidly, ignoring the lump in my throat as it intensifies.

"Maybe you just need to calm down," I whisper. "And then we can assess the situation then."

"I am calm," he tells me. "Are you coming or staying?"

All the memories that we've shared start flashing through my mind. From the moment I met him at school, to his first night my house, to our first kiss that night, to fights and the moment we realised we loved each other.

I think back to our first time. The love I felt that night, the love that I feel for Theo. I finally let the tears fall down my face. My bottom lip quivers as I wrap my arms around Theo again.

He pulls me in closer, comforting me as I finally break down. I think about all the memories and then I think about my choice. I suddenly think about my family, about Mason, about Allison and all my other friends.

I can't lose Theo, but I can't lose them either. I ponder, thinking about the life changing decision I have to make. It doesn't matter which choice I make... I'm going to lose someone tonight regardless.

"I love you," Theo whispers, cupping my face with his hand.

He leans in slowly, placing his lips on mine. I kiss him back slowly, not daring to open my eyes. He slowly pulls our lips apart, running his hand down my face.

My heart stops as I go to answer Theo, but I choked on my words. He stands up, looking down at me.

"I can't go," I finally whisper, the tears falling down my face once again.

Theo helps me stand up; his eyes filled with tears again. He smiles slightly, kissing me again one last time. He laughs slightly as we stand there looking at one another, tears falling down our faces.

"Please, don't do this." I beg him. "We can work this out! We can deal with this together, please. I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you, please don't end it like this. I need you, Theo! You can't give up like this, we can deal with it together, please... just stay."

"I can't stay, baby." He tells me, his expression softening as he looks at me. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then stay," I cry harder. "If you love me, stay!"

I feel my knees get weaker as I cry harder, unable to breath properly. Theo looks away from me, unable to look at me.

"I love you Dunbar," he tells me.

I fall to the ground, watching as he walks away. I cry harder, screaming into a pillow as I hear the front door close, and a car engine start up.

I feel my heart physically break into a million pieces. I think back to something Theo said to me a few months back. Something about how he will never be able to have a happy ending. The thing he never mentioned though was, he wouldn't be the only one affected.

I listen as he drives off, taking a piece of my heart with him.