Obsessed [book: one] // Thiam

Chapter 26

3 days later:
Theo and I still haven't spoken since our conversation in the locker room. I tried to speak to him, but he just ignored me and acted like we didn't know each other. I understand why he's doing it and I appreciate it, but it still hurts. Not being able to speak to him has been hard and I miss him.

I try to ignore my feelings though, so I've been drawing these past few days to get my mind off it all. It's been pretty therapeutic and it's showed me how much I've been neglecting drawing, but every drawing has something to do with him. I can't get him out of my head, no matter how hard I try.

A knock on the door brings me back into reality and out of my thoughts. I turn to the door and smile when I see Mason pop his head around the corner. Since we have exams coming up and I have no idea what I'm doing in any class, I decided to invite Mason over to help me study, considering he's a straight A student and the second smartest person I know.

"Hey man," he smiles, hugging me and sitting down on my bed.

Ever since the whole Theo situation started, I haven't really spoken to Mason. We still hang out together at school and talk through social media, but that's it. Before any of this happened, we would hang out after school and we would hang out every weekend.

"Its been awhile since we've done this," I laugh, swinging around on my desk chair. 

"I know right. It's because I basically got replaced by Theo." He jokingly rolls his eyes. I scoff and shake my head, confused as to how he could think that. "Please, you guys would spend every single day together. I mean, you literally skipped a day of school to hang out with him."

I want to smile and laugh at his sarcasm, but nothing comes out. Instead, I just get flashbacks of the memories. I know Theo and I weren't super close and we only knew each other for a short amount of time, it still feels like a whole part of my life has been removed. In the short time we spent together, Theo made a real impact on my life.

"So what are we studying first?" Mason asks me, the tone of his voice soft.

I can tell by the look he's giving me, he knows something is troubling me. I haven't told Mason anything about Theo, even though I want to. I've told him small parts but nothing about us. Especially about the kiss.

"I was thinking about starting with biology," I tell him. "I haven't done anything for it and I'm so lost."

I think about the last sentence. Unsure if it applies to the work or if applies to everything else, like what happened between Theo and I and what we actually are. I thought Theo and I were something, but I was extremely wrong about that.

"Okay," Mason whispers, grabbing his biology stuff.

He hands me his notes and opens his book. I look at his notes, spacing out again. I look at his writing, none of the information processing through my mind. I take a deep breath in, clearing my mind so I can focus on what I need to be doing.

I look over at Mason, who is staring at me with these sympathetic, sad eyes. I look back down at his notes, opening my book and writing them in. I can still feel his stare on me, but I know what will happen as soon as I look at him. And at this point of time, I'm doing my best to avoid that conversation.

"Liam?" Mason whispers, his hand resting on my shoulder. "I know that something is going on. Talk to me."

I roll my eyes, closing my book as I spin around to look at him. I think about what's on my mind and what I want to tell Mason. I want to tell him everything, but I know I can't. For multiple reasons, but the main one being I can't. I can't admit that I actually kissed Theo and I liked it. That's not me and I can't have him thinking it is.

"It's just everything that's been going on with Theo. One day we're like really close and then the next day he just ignores me and acts like we don't even know each other. And then I was helping him through some heavy shit and then he just leaves me the next day, no explanation, nothing."

I take a deep breath in, hoping that's all I have to tell him, but he knows I'm still keeping something. I raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to continue on. I roll my eyes and sigh, knowing that I need to tell him something so he'll leave me alone.

"Theo was getting beaten up and I was there for him. We really bonded and came close and I thought we were becoming close friends, but then he basically said he doesn't want anything to do with me and hasn't spoken to me for three days. I worry about him all night and I just want him to message him or for him to give me some sign that he's safe." I tell him, avoiding eye contact throughout the whole conversation.

"Well if this makes you feel any better, I saw Theo just the other day. He was fine and we had a conversation. You shouldn't worry about him." He tells me, smiling as he rubs my back.

He walks back over to me bed and flops down on it, going back to his work.

I spin back around and look down at my book. My breathing deepens, my body burning up. I want to Theo and yell at him, I want to scream at him. I need him to explain all this to me or at least tell me he's okay.

He's like my best friend one day and then wants nothing to do with me. I'm there for him, helping him through everything and then he just leaves me like I was nothing. I clench my first and focus on my breathing, trying to stay calm.

I can't let Mason see how much this has affected me. I don't want anyone to see how much it's affected me. I tap my foot on the ground, my body now restless. I try to bottle up my anger, I try and calm myself down, but I can't hold it in.

"I've been worried about him, scared for him, concerned for him. I've been trying to get in contact with him to make sure he's okay, and he has the audacity to just ignore me? What the fuck!" I yell, throwing my hands in the air.

"Liam, don't let this get to you. Clearly he doesn't care about you if he's been ignoring you." Mason tells me, clearly trying to calm me down. "Why don't we pack up and just play some video games instead?"

I nod and throw my book aside. I walk over to my bed and sit down. Mason starts up the xbox and puts in a disc. I look at my phone and snatch it off my bedside table. I unlock my phone and go onto my messages.

I find his name and stare at the keypad. I contemplate whether or not I send one last message and give him one more chance, or if I just leave it where it's at and cut him out of my life for good. I know what I want to do and I know it's the right thing. For both Theo and I.

Theo 😡: I need to talk to you, answer me.