Obsessed [book: one] // Thiam

Chapter 11

I stand at the door, reaching hesitantly for the handle, overthinking the whole situation. I quickly turn around, ready to run back to my car and drive home. I shake my head and turn back around, pushing the door open and walking inside.

I look around, finding Hayden at her usual table, a cup of coffee in front of her.

"You'll be fine, she just wants to talk." I whisper to myself as I walk over towards her, putting on a fake smile.

"Liam!" She says, her voice higher than usual. She stands up, embracing me in a warm and overly welcoming hug. "I didn't think you would actually come."

"Neither did I to be honest," I tell her truthfully, sitting down across from her.

Her hands are placed in front of her, folded into one another as though we were in some sort of serious meeting. I look around, wiping my sweaty hands nervously, waiting for her to initiate the conversation so we can both leave and get home, far away from each other.

She sits there, smiling and looking longingly into my eyes as though we'd just met and been on the perfect date. I would almost even say, it's how someone looks when they're in love.

I shift in my seat nervously, clearing my throat as I sit up taller, frowning at her.

"So, why did you text me? What conversation do we need to have?" I ask impatiently, getting sick and tired of waiting.

"Don't be silly, Liam. You know why we're here." She bats her eyelashes at me, smiling innocently as she speaks. "The kiss... at my party. That wasn't just a kiss Liam, there was something between us. Something real."

"Wh-what?" I choke up, unsure of how to respond. "Hayden, I'm not sure I'm really following."

"I know I hurt you Liam and I understand why you shut me out, but I am really sorry. I don't know what was going through my mind at that time and I was honestly so stupid for doing it." She tells me, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly.

I look down at our hands, to choked up and confused to form a proper sentence. I think back to that day, the day where it all fell apart and how it all happened. I believe her that she's sorry, but that doesn't mean I want to be with her or that I feel that way about her anymore.

She is a great girl and whatever, but she just isn't for me. Not anymore, not after everything that happened.

"So, what is it that you're trying to say?" I finally ask, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Liam, I want to try again. I think it will be great for us and I feel like it will work out this time." She says it with such sincerity, as though nothing happened between us. As though we just fell out of love and nothing else happened.

I sit there, thinking about my next words very carefully. I want Hayden to know that I'm done with her for good, but I also don't want to hurt her feelings. I can't break her heart, as she did mine. I look into her eyes, knowing that no matter what I say, it's going to hurt her.

"I can't do that to myself again, Hayden. What we had, it was good and I really did enjoy it, but you completely broke me. When I walked into your house that day, finding you with Nolan... I can't forget that." I think back to that day, all the memories flooding back in. "I can see that you've changed and I appreciate you telling me this, but I've also changed. I know what I deserve and I know who I deserve, and I'm sorry but I don't deserve a heartbreaker."

She pulls her hand away from me, nodding her head slightly. She raises her eyebrows slightly, indicating that what I've just said has clearly pissed her off. And I don't blame her for being pissed, I would also be pissed if it was the other way around, but I need to do what's best for me. And this is the best choice.

I can't go back to someone who cheated on me with one of my teammates, with someone I once called a friend. One night after practice, I wanted to surprise Hayden with some chocolates and flowers, because that whole week she wasn't acting like herself. She seemed really sad and was almost avoiding me, which I guess is what you do when you're cheating on your partner.

So, when I got to her house to surprise her, the front door was unlocked and I walked straight in. I heard music from her room, so I assumed that she was up there, cleaning or doing homework or something, but when I walked in there... she was making out with Nolan. I just stood there, confused and hurt and all she could say was, 'you weren't meant to be here'.

And I honestly think that's what hurt the most. Not the cheating or me catching them, but the fact she wasn't sorry for cheating on me.

"But I would like to be friends again," I tell her, trying to brighten up her mood. "Because what we had, it was really special and I don't wanna throw away our friendship."

She sighs, rolling her eyes subtly. She forces a smile, tilting her head slightly, which she normally does when she's pissed off.

"Here's to being friends," she raises her coffee mug, taking a small sip.

We sit for a couple more minutes, making casual small talk every few seconds, trying to fill in the awkward tension. After what felt like long enough, I decide to end the awkward tension for the two of us, and call an end to this little gathering.

"I am really sorry, Hayden. But it's the best for the both of us." I smile, reassuring her that this is the only way.

"Yeah," she whispers, pulling out her phone, clearly having no interest in this conversation. "Well, cya later then."

I wave and walked back to my car, getting in and putting on my 'chill' playlist. I sit there, closing my eyes as the music takes over my body. My head slightly twitching with each soft beat. I start the car up and drive off, not knowing exactly where my next location is.

I drive straight down the road, not thinking about where to go. I'm just going to go with the flow and wherever I end up at the end of the drive, that's where I'm going to end up.

I take a sudden right turn, turning down the backstreets and into the more secluded area. I smile when I realise where I am.

This is the lake that me and Mason use to go to every weekend when we were younger. We would always swim out to the middle of the lake and just float down the stream, not caring about all the dangerous that occurred during that time. Back to when we were fearless and the only scary thing was the dark. Back to when life was easy and simple.

Now you have school to worry about and ex-girlfriend's who want to get back with you. I take a left turn, pulling onto the grass field and getting out of my car, leaving it on for the music.

I walk around to the back of my car, opening the boot and sitting inside of it, pulling out my sketch book and utensils. I look out at the lake, taking in the scenery. The clear water and the green grass. The ducks that waddle slowly to the water bank. I close my eyes, listening to the chirping birds and buzzing bees.

I open my eyes back up, looking down at my sketch book and continuing on with my previous drawing. The drawing of Theo.