Obsessed [book: one] // Thiam

Chapter 23

(Can we also just admire this perfect edit)

I sit at the table, in silence. My parents having a conversation beside me, but I zoned out awhile ago. Ever since Theo left today, the way that it all happened, I haven't really been myself. There's been this dark cloud over me and this weight on my shoulders.

I could've done something to stop him. I could've stopped that car from leaving, I could've stopped him from leaving. I should've noticed something was going on sooner. Maybe I could've avoided everything if I didn't get lost in his fucking voice. That low, husky voice of his that I could literally drown in.

"So, where's your friend? Where's Theo?" My mum asks me, bringing me back into the conversation.

Even just hearing his name makes me want to break down. It makes me want to scream, cry and punch a hole in the wall all at once. It infuriates me, after everything I did for him, he goes and does this. It makes me want to cry because I truly care about him and I don't want to see him hurt. Especially after hearing about his past.

"Oh, he had to go home. Don't worry though, everything is better now." I lie, shoving some chicken in my mouth, hoping to avoid anymore questions.

I can tell by the look in my Mums eyes she isn't buying it, but she doesn't want to push me.

"How's school going, Liam?" My dad asks me. "With finals coming up and the school year ending, it must be pretty stressful. How are all your classes going?"

"I mean, I want to say good. I think I'm going well, especially art and history. English and maths are different stories though." I tell him, faking a laugh.

"Just as long as you try your best." My mum tells me, smiling as he squeezes my hand.

I smile and nod. I want to tell them the truth and how I am more than positive that I am failing every single one of my classes, but I don't want to add anymore stress onto what they already have. With them both working overtime, the least I can do is stay up to date in school, and actually pass my classes.

"And what about friends?" My mum asks, giving me an innocent look.

"Yeah, they're all good. Mason and Corey have been slightly distant but that's probably my fault. Scott and Stiles are always there for me, same with Allison." I tell her, making sure she has no reason to worry.

"How is, Ali? I haven't seen her for awhile." My Mum asks me.

I roll my eyes and smile. Ever since my Mum met Allison, she took an instant liking to her. I mean, I don't blame her. There isn't anything not to love. She's literally the best person there is and I would be lost without her.

"She's been really good. Her and Scott are back together, but no one is suppose to know, only Stiles and I do." I tell my Mum.

A smile spreads across her face as I tell her the news. My Mum also really likes Scott, and she loves Scott and Allison together. She says they balance each other out and they make the perfect match. I see it as well and I hope they get there happy ending, whether it's together or not.

I go back to my food, eating a little more and then putting my leftovers in the trash. I quickly clean my plate and say goodnight to my parents. I go upstairs and go straight to my bathroom. I brush my teeth, do my skin care and then crash straight onto my bed.

I close my eyes and lay there, listening to the silence in my room. I take a deep breath in and open my eyes. I sigh and get off my bed, walking over to my closet. I stare at my 50 hoodies and grab one, taking my shirt off and putting on my grey hoodie. I grab some grey sweats and get back into bed.

I plug in my phone and decided to do one last social media check. I open up some snaps and reply to some. Allison and the rest are planning on doing something this weekend, which sounds nice but I know I'll just ruin there fun.

I go onto instagram and start scrolling through, until a post catches my eye. Theo posted on instagram, and I know for a fact that isn't his house. There's boxes in the background and it looks almost like a small apartment or something like that.

I go into my DM's and find his name. I think about what to say and how to say it. I want to know if he's okay, but I also want him to know that I'm pissed off and I also don't want him thinking I'm constantly thinking about him.

To: Theo Raeken:
Hey, just checking in considering you just left. Hope you're okay.

I send the message and lay down. I pick at my nails, waiting anxiously for a respond. I look at the time; 11:40. I scoff as I look at the time. He probably isn't even awake and he probably isn't even thinking about me. He probably left and erased me from his mind.

I don't blame him. We haven't even known each other for that long, so it'll be easy for him to forget about me. I wish I could say the same for me.

My phone lights up as a notification comes through. I sit up and look down at my phone, his name displayed across my screen. I want to wait, make it look like I'm not desperate, but I am. I open the notification.

From: Theo Raeken:
I am fine now, Thank you. You can leave me alone now, Liam.

I reread the message, unsure if I read it wrong or if it's actually what he said. My breathing gets heavier as I read the message over and over again. I think back to last night, the moment we had. That kiss.

That fucking kiss. The moment I thought things may work out. I mean, what was I thinking. What am I thinking now? It wasn't going to work out with us. I'm not gay and I know Theo for sure isn't. He just an asshole who doesn't realise everything you've done for him.

He's an asshole he doesn't deserve anything from me anymore. If he can cut me off just like this, that's exactly what I will do to him. I read the message one more time, then turn my phone off. I look at my reflection through the black screen. I look into my eyes and see the rage filling them.

Then in a sudden burst of frustration, I throw my phone across my room. I lift my knee up to my chest, and run my hands through my hair aggressively. I want to scream, I need to scream, but I can't.

"Liam? Is everything alright?" My Mum yells from the bottom of the stairs, the noise from my phone drawing her attention.

"Yeah, I just... I just dropped my bag!" I yell out to her, getting up and grabbing my phone.

I look down at the screen, relived to see it wasn't cracked or broken. I walk back over to my bed, turning off my light and closing my eyes, forcing myself to go to sleep. But I'm not ready for sleep. In fact, I am far from sleep.

I lay there, in the darkness, in  complete silence, crying.