Obsessed [book: one] // Thiam

Chapter 05

Mr. Harris still stands at the front of the class, explaining to us what it is that we're doing today. I zoned out awhile ago, when Theo started to sketch again. There's something about the way he does it. So carelessly and freely.

He isn't trying to copy anything or looking at something for inspiration. It's like he just in-visions it and knows exactly how to draw it. He rushes as well. He doesn't take the time to get it perfect, just draws a line and traces over it 5-6 times. It doesn't matter if he messes up, because that's the whole point of the sketch. It doesn't matter if it's messy or neat. Just as long as there's something there.

"Start setting up," I slightly jump, breaking from my trance.

"What?" I ask, confused by what Mason meant. I look around and see everyone moving around, getting their benches set up for something.

"Liam, have you been listening at all this class? We're doing an experiment..." I give him a blank expression. "Mr. Harris has been talking about it the whole class... Liam are you serious? What have you been doing this whole class?"

I swiftly look back at Theo, making sure I didn't stare long enough for Mason to catch me. I shrug my shoulders and start to set up, not exactly sure what it was for. I grab out all the equipment and start setting it all up, putting one of the tubes into the gas pipe and another into the Bunsen burner.

I read the sheet, finding out what it is that we're actually doing. Mason comes back over to the bench with more equipment, setting that up as well. I look up from the sheet and look over at Theo, watching as he sits there, not moving.

"Should we invite him over?" Mason asks me, looking over at Theo.

I nod and walk over to his bench, tapping his back and smiling as he turns around to face me. He takes out one of his headphones and sits up straighter, a smile now on his face.

"Mason and I were just wondering if you wanted to come over and work with us," I point over to our bench, Mason standing there, smiling and waving.

"Thanks, that's really nice." He grabs all of his stuff and walks over to the bench, putting his things down next to mine.

Mason stands up and goes right next to Theo, introducing himself and having a conversation with him. I nod my head occasionally, mainly focusing on the experiment. I listen into their conversation, feeling sort of jealous with how easy Mason finds it talking to people.

It comes so naturally and easily to him. It's like he was made to be a social butterfly, whereas I'm the complete opposite. That's why it still surprises me that we became best friends the first day we met one another. I was the quiet kid with anger issues and Mason was this outgoing kid with the calmest approach. It was a shock to our parents as well. We were complete opposites, yet we still loved being around one another.

"Liam, why are you being so quiet? Don't you want to talk to our new lab partner?" I can hear the sarcasm in his voice, so I give him a sarcastic smile back.

"Does he not like me?" Theo whispers to Mason, a hurt expression on his face.

"No, I do. Mason's just being a jackass," I quickly add, looking back down at what I've started to create.

I go back to concentrating on the work, now completely blocking the two of them out. I add in some more chemicals, my hands shaking as I pour them in. I spill some on the bench, only to get yelled at by Mr. Harris, who just stands there, shaking his head.

I take a deep breath in, closing my eyes as he yells at me. I count to ten slowly, holding back any urge I have to yell back at him. Last thing I want to do is embarrass myself even more in front of Theo. I don't need him knowing I have IED and don't have any sort of control over it.

Although, compared to two years ago, I have changed a lot. I got some sort of grasp over it and little things that use to piss me right off, they don't so much anymore. I still get pissed off over small things easily, but I have better control over it. Or at least I think I do, Mason doesn't agree with me so much.

"Mr. Dunbar! Get a cloth or something, don't just stand there and look all pretty. Clean it up before it stains the bench," Mr. Harris yells, still continuing on about the spill.

I slightly grunt, walking over to the sink and snatching a cloth, wiping up the chemicals and throwing it in the bin. I hear someone laugh quietly up the back. I look in the corner and see Gabe sitting there, looking over at me and shaking his head. I sit back down and continue on with what I was doing, my breathing now deeper and heavier.

I see Mason in the corner of my eye, looking over at me concerned. I grab the tube and go to pour it into the testing tube again, my hand still shaky from before. I try my best to steady it, but just end up making it worse. I place it back on the bench, closing my eyes to slow down my heart rate.

"Here. I'll pour it, you write down the results." Theo smiles, picking up the tube and pouring it in, not spilling anything. He smiles and places down the testing tube, watching as the liquids started bubbling and changing colour.

I pick up my pen and write down what happened, my hands still slightly shaky. I push my pen down harder, trying to stop the shakiness, but it doesn't help. My heart drops when Theo grabs my hand, holding it until it stops shaking.

He looks down at my hand and then up to my face, a sad look in his eyes. He slightly moves his thumb in a circular motion, my breath now slower than before. I look into his eyes, getting lost in them. They are truly beautiful and I could get lost in them all day, but not right now.

I pull my hand away, which was no longer shaking. I continue on writing down the results, fighting all of the muscles in my body that wanted to look up into Theo's eyes again. I tap my foot on the ground, trying to let all the nerves in my body out.  I don't know what just happened there between Theo and I, but I defiantly didn't hate it and I also defiantly can't let it happen again.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mason whispers, pulling his chair next to me and helping me with the results.

I put my pen down and think about the question. Not sure on how I should answer it. I look up at him and furrow my eyebrows.

"I don't know."