52.1 | Second Skin

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      The red carpet is just as stressful as every time Yoongi's been on it before; a cacophony of blinding lights flashing in their eyes. Seokjin and Namjoon lead the group, both comfortable in their respective roles, and Yoongi's more than happy to let the rest of the group take all the spotlight.

       Being one of the new generation of groups, Bangtan is set to perform second, so after finishing the last red-carpet interview they're led backstage where their staff has already set up shop in the designated room.

      After the pressure and constant nagging attention of the red-carpet, the familiar busywork of getting prepared for their performance feels like a breath of fresh air. The members take turns having the makeup noonas fuss over their touch-ups while the rest frantically run over their lines and mime the choreo under Hoseok's watchful eye. Amongst the bustle of his members and the Bighit staff, Yoongi keeps one eye trained on the open door, watching for any sign of his sister passing through the hall.

      Even with his lingering headache, the busy prep work makes the time pass in the blink of an eye, and the seven young men gather in a circle, hands in the middle as they boost their courage for the upcoming stage. With one last deep breath, Yoongi sheds his exhausted appearance like a second skin—pulling on his savage stage presence. With the ice-cold mask of SUGA painted over his face, Yoongi steps out onto the stage.

      Performing is oddly therapeutic to Yoongi—burning through all his pent-up anger and trepidation as he puts it all into the stage. Even without the song being their most aggressive—Run is more desperate than anything else—just going through the motions and throwing his whole body into the effort has his tension melting into the choreography. He can feel the others doing the same, and from behind his mask he watches in awe as the crowd reflects their fiery energy – the whole stadium jumping and shouting along with him.

      They fly through the choreography, each of them feeling the aura of the room rise with every chorus. Near the end of the performance Yoongi's gaze locks with Jimin's for a split second, and the shared passion that passes between them has Yoongi hoping Byeol-ah's watching. For sure this is one of their best performances yet.

      Stepping off the stage is difficult. It always is—stepping out of the vortex of energy and back to the real world is always hard. But thinking about Byeol-ah not only makes it bearable but has Yoongi leading the group off the stage. He's the first one back in their dressing room, holding on to the hope that maybe Byeol-ah was watching and will be waiting to congratulate them. His shoulders slump when the room is disappointingly empty.

      He slouches motionlessly in his chair as a makeup noona hastily touches up on the spots that had smudged in the heat of their stage. He and the rest of the boys are rushed back out into their planned seats as soon as they're announced as finished. Namjoon pats them all on the back as they pass him out of the room, praising them all for a fiery performance, but Yoongi can only shrug in response.

      Yoongi scours each open room as they walk through the hall back to the stadium. He sees a lot of familiar faces, but no unknown girl groups, and no Byeol-ah. He's resigned himself to waiting till the end of the show as they settle in their seats, pulling his phone out of his pocket before he sits down to calculate just how long he must wait. To his surprise- there's a text waiting.

      It's a picture of Yoongi mid-performance; expression fierce and mouth half open in the middle of a line. The picture makes him snort- it's not the most flattering one he's ever seen—and Jimin leans over his shoulder to peek at what he's laughing at while Yoongi reads the following message.

princess: Oppa looks so cool on stage! Your rap was so perfect~

      Byeol-ah was watching. Yoongi feels his face split into a painfully big smile, his cheeks hurting with the force of it. She liked our performance!

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