Kiwis | Harry Styles

Thirty-Nine

I emerge from the bathroom feeling like a prize shit. My eyes make an involuntary glance at Jess. Big mistake. The emotion swirling in her brown eyes stabs like a knife to my heart.

"You okay?" Her words carve me open a second time. I don't deserve her worry.

"I'm fine." I mentally slap myself when the words force themselves out with a bitter edge.

"Come here?" She asks softly as she pulls back the covers and pats the empty space beside her. I want nothing more than I want to climb in and let her hold me, but I don't feel worthy of that.

"Uhm... I think I might go for a run." I cock my thumb in the direction of the bedroom door. Yeah. A run is a good idea.

"Harry! It's 2am, and it's fucking freezing. Just get in," she scoffs.

I let out a puff of air and stomp to the other side of the bed. "Move then." And yet again, I scold myself for the tone. When she doesn't move quickly enough, I shove her over and slip in behind her. My arms naturally wrap around her and hold her close. At least I'm still capable of showing her how I feel, even if my mouth is doing its best to make me sound like an arsehole.

"Look, you're not the only one who's disappointed here but there's other stuff -"

"I'm not disappointed." I snap at her again and push her hand away as she reaches for me.

"Sure. That why you're stomping around like a bear with a sore head?"

"Fine! I'm fucking pissed off. Is that what you want to hear? I hurt you and all I seem to be able to do is bite your head off because I'm irritated that I didn't get some. Husband of the fucking year, right here!" I angrily turn away from her and yank the duvet around me, more guilt clouding my thoughts as her body bumps into mine as a result of my actions.

"Hey..." her voice is so quiet I almost don't hear it over my angry heart thumping. "H. You're being way too hard on yourself." I scoff at her words, but I shuffle closer as she wraps her arm around me, her palm flattening against my chest. Her bump presses into my back, and as I feel the twins moving around, my heart calms further. "I think Stevie and Monroe must have been lying weird or something."

"I bet Madi has been giving them lessons in how to cockblock me," I snort.

"She likes to tell them stories about you," my wife whispers as her fingers trace the patterns of the tattoos which cover my heart.

"Really?"

"Yep, yesterday she told them all about her 'mazin' Daddy, who sings and makes people happy. Thinks you might be magic or Sarah from Hocus Pocus." Jessi's giggle has my hand enveloping hers, trying to pull her impossibly closer.

"I think our daughter is confused about who really has all the power here." I smile as I lift my wife's hand and press a kiss to her soft skin.

"Nah. She's pretty spot on. Watching that audience fall in love with you tonight was quite something. Definitely, magic." Her breath tickles my skin as she presses her head between my shoulder blades.

"Only heart I care about is in this bed-"

"Narcissist!" she jokes, and I smile.

"I love you, Jessi."

"I love you too."

-----

"Ahhhh! Fuck it!" I yell into the busy corridor as the contents of my handbag go spilling all over the floor.

"Need a hand?" A gruff voice asks and I look up to find a blonde guy starring down at me.

"No thanks. I got it." I tilt my head back to the floor and scoop up the last of my stuff. My planner, the keys to the house in LA and some stray sweets that one of the kids must have shoved in there.