The Suitors: A BTS fanfic

29

Y/n POV

You thought it'd never come. You thought something would have happened to prevent it from arriving. Maybe you would have died or maybe you would have run away or something. But no. Nothing remarkable happened to stop this impending day from approaching faster than you ever could have imagined. And here it was. The day of the choosing ceremony. The day you would make a decision that would change your future.

Your mind briefly mulled over the idea of destiny. Was your future already planned out for you? Did the universe already know which man you would pick to marry? If destiny were real, it would give you comfort in knowing that your fate was already decided. But if not, does that mean that you have a different future with every man at your fingertips? What if you chose the wrong one? And if you did would there be an alternate universe—a different dimension where you had picked the right one? All you wanted was to be happy. When it came down to it, you didn't really care about who was the handsomest, or the most charming, or even who loved you most. You just wanted to be happy.

You also thought about the night before. You felt numb, honestly. No more hatred, no more sadness. Just nothing. Remembering what had happened would have made you cry in the past, but that morning it just made you sigh and roll onto your back.

You laid in bed, eyes on the celling. Those ceilings that hung so high. Anxiety already made a home in your bones, but the mere height of the celling managed to push you over the edge. Your stomach churned and twisted a little tighter than usual aches would. You knew what was about to happen. You stumbled out of your bed and ran over to a wash bucket filled with cool water. You skid to the floor, your dress causing you to slide just the right amount to align your face with the rim of the bucket. Your dinner from the night before emptied itself from your stomach into the bucket.

You coughed, pushing your hair over your shoulder. You heaved, tears pricking at the sides of your eyes. You had nothing left to give the wash bucket, but your body still rejected itself, causing you to dryly cough and gag on your own anxiety.

You heard movement from behind you. Your door being gently pushed open. You turned your head slightly, embarrassed that anyone would see you like this. But when you felt warm hands touch the back of your neck and pull back your hair, the face that accompanied them was more than welcomed.

It was Esther. You felt like you hadn't seen her in so long. Too long for sisters to be apart. You coughed some more, not quite steady enough to give her a proper greeting. She didn't seem to mind, though. She just hushed in your ear and stroked the hair she held in her palms.

Finally, after a few minutes, the storm inside you calmed, and you felt well enough to pull back from the bucket. Esther sat down on the ground in front of you, her hands folded in her lap. You wiped the sides of your mouth, just to be sure that nothing remained.

"Do you feel better now?" She asked softly, looking down at her crossed legs. You nodded and licked your now dry lips. "You're nervous, aren't you? That's why you got sick?"

You nodded again, her big, young eyes flicking up to meet yours. There was a moment of silence while she considered your answer. "I'm sorry we haven't had time to see each other. I just got so caught up in everything... It was hard to pull myself out of it," you apologized.

She smiled without her eyes, so you knew It was a smile of understanding, not happiness. "It's okay. I'm glad that you got to spend all the time you could with them. You should know the man you're going to marry, after all."

You didn't answer, but she continued. "You do know him, right?"

"I know them all."

"But... do you know which one? Which one you're going to choose?" Once again silence seemed like the easiest answer. "You don't." She shifted, coming to her conclusion. You shook your head slightly. She waited a minute to speak again. "You're smart, y/n. One of the smartest people I know. Even if you don't know now, even if you don't know in an hour, even if you don't know five minutes before, you'll know when it's time."