Her Single Rose (Remus Lupin)

Nine

***Mature Content—includes mention of suicide.***

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After pillow fights, truth or dare, snuck in Butterbeer and childish forts, the three girls fell fast asleep. All except Aries of course.

The girl didn't feel tired, she didn't want to be tired. Right now, all she wanted to do was open the letter from her parents and wallow in self pity.

It sounded stupid and dramatic but it made her feel better in the end.

Aries stepped out of the fort quietly and slyly, opening the door to step out. The letter had been stuck in the pocket of her black sweatpants and were burning a whole there, just waiting for her to open.

She shut the door once she was outside and quickly walked down the girls dormitory steps. A sigh of relief passed her lips when she made it down without a sound.

Once in the common room she went straight to the window, cracking it open a bit to let in some cool air while she grabbed her letter.

Aries opened the piece of parchment, she didn't skim it but there was enough inside to make her eyes widen.

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James yawned as he walked down the stairs of the boys dormitories, he almost tripped down the last step when he realized he wasn't the only one up.

"What are you doing here?" James asked incredulously.

"I could as you the same thing...nice abs." She said as she looked him up and down.

He looked down, suddenly aware of his half naked body  and immediately pulled his arms up to cover himself. The action made her giggle slightly.

James used the accio spell for a shirt before making his way down closer to her. Aries was a little impressed that he managed such a spell so late at night.

"I meant, why are you here in the Gryffindor common room?" James asked quietly standing beside her.

Aries sat with her legs up by the window, a letter sitting open beside her.

"Sleepover, the girls are asleep." Aries told him before looking back out to the window.

"How come you're not?" He took a seat across from her in the small bay window.

Aries didn't respond to that question. James had just gotten close enough to see the bags under her eyes, the faint bruises that had littered her neck and the scars that showed slightly from under her robes.

Why cover something when it was supposed to be dark enough not to see.

Sirius had told him about the awful consequences at home that he had to deal with, but he never said anything about how his twin suffered as well, maybe even worse.

"Night terrors." She said quietly, so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Devilish things, the rubbish that won't leave your head, the pain you know is still there, the anger you can't stand, when you can't scream even when you want to. Its painful. It's....terrifying." She started to shake as she spoke.

"The suffering doesn't end when you leave home, it might not get worse, but it doesn't get better. The dreams are just reminders, the scars are nothing but showing how weak you are, the moments where all you feel is bottomless pain, you feel paralyzed. That's when your thoughts drift...to maybe, thinking you don't have to suffer anymore...if you were to just cut off all the pain, maybe it would go away." Aries explained.

"I live in the second story at Grimmauld. During Christmas break, I had opened the windows and just stood looking at the ground. The only thing going through my mind was 'what if'. What if jumping would make it all better." Aries shook her head looking down at the parchment in her hands.