Her Single Rose (Remus Lupin)

Fifty-Eight

**WARNING: Mention of suicide**

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The train ride had passed by relatively quickly, falling asleep for the whole trip and been woken up to get changed into her robes.

The dinner had been rather a bore, the sorting ceremony being a bit longer this year, but the food brought Heaven to her like it always did when she ate on the first day back.

By now, it was almost midnight and Marlene had fallen asleep alongside Mindy. Aries was slipping on her enchanted boots, enchanted with a silencing charm, so that they wouldn't make any noise when she went out late at night.

She had made it out of the common room and into the corridors, pulling out her map to make sure Filch wasn't around, Mrs. Norris was rather close by for Aries liking and she decided to just make her way to the front entrance of the school without the map.

Aries knew the way by heart by now and decided to keep herself in the dark. Her body wasn't tired, nor were her eyes as she walked through the corridors.

Though before she could move out of the shadows way, she bumped right into another figure.

"Ow!" A voice whisper shouted as a series of similar grunts followed. A light had shown in Aries face as she squinted pushed the light down from her eyes.

The figure was, in fact, Sirius. Followed by none other than James, Peter, and Remus. "Meredith? What are you doing up?" Sirius asked incredulously.

What's that Mrs. Norris?

Without hesitation Aries pushed the group to the wall and took Sirius's wand, putting out the light with a counter spell, "hey!-"

"Shhh!" Aries hushed them, no more than five seconds later did Filch walk right past them. Mrs. Norris was hissing at him but he had ignored her and kept walking.

After making sure the coast was clear, she stepped back and crossed her arms, "I just saved you all from a weeks worth of detention, I owe no explanation." She shrugged.

"But you're not dumb enough to believe I'll let you off the hook just like that, so come off it." Sirius folded his arms in a brotherly manner.

"Late night snack." She told him.

"The kitchen is the other direction." Peter shook his head.

"Last minute detour." She added.

"And what was the detour?" James asked, not believing a word.

"Filch." Aries said keeping a straight face as she lied right through her teeth.

"Aries. What are you doing up." The voice came from Remus this time, he sounded tired of going in circles with the whole explanation thing, but his voice was still calm, it was even and soothing.

She didn't like how she felt like she couldn't lie to him, her mouth opening and closing as if trying to decipher her own words without sliding in a fib. Her brows furrowed as she looked down at the cold ground.

"Late night walk. I can't sleep on the first nights back so I go out of the castle and walk out on the grounds to think." She explained and hugged her arms together, Aries didn't know why she hadn't learned to bring her jacket with her by now.

"Guess pranking will have to wait." James said taking Aries hand and guiding her towards the entrance to the castle.

"Wait what?" Aries asked as Peter pushed her on and Sirius and Remus spoke.

"You'll have to teach me how you do that." Sirius whispered to Remus.

"Do what?" Remus asked.

"You haven't noticed? You're literally the only person that can get her to talk. I doubt she would ever lie to you, mate." Sirius shook his head with a small smirk.

Remus shrugged, "I can tell when people are lying...I've done it so much I can recognize it easily. Maybe it's just the voice." Remus said as he looked to where Aries was having a whisper fight with James over who would unlock the entrance.

Peter ended up unlocking it.

Sirius shook his head, "love makes people do crazy things."

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Remus had found his way beside Aries, walking towards the Whomping Willow. He was quiet as she looked around the scenery, he too looked around in awe.

He had never noticed the ivy crawling up the side of the old school and the small daisies that were blooming in a small area.

Remus took notice in the way she walked, her pace was slow by her steps were measured, he watched as she straighteners her back every once and a while by sheer memory, but deflated after a while.

Remus realized that the walks weren't just for thinking, they were to help her get back to her Hogwarts appearance, to help herself feel more comfortable. She would be on high alert for a few minutes but drop her guard down when she remembered where she was.

That's when it hit Remus, Sirius had gone through similar fazes when he had gotten back from Grimmauld Place, he had said more than once that what happened there would come in nightmares. He thought maybe that was why Aries couldn't sleep the first night.

"It's because of the nightmares." Aries broke the silence, keeping her gaze on the night sky as they walked towards the edge of the cliff area. "Not just the nightmares. It's nice to have fresh air and to be alone. To think about things, put them in simpler ways. Answer problems, figure out questions, think about life." She added.

Remus listened, and that was all Aries could ask for.

"I used to be suicidal-"

"You don't have to-"

"I do. You should know." She cut him off and took a breathy sigh, "I tried to end my life when I was younger, had a knife in my hand, ready to do something stupid with it but never had the guts to. Sirius found me, talked me out of it. That's probably why he's so protective over me. I thought about it a couple years ago too. Once Marlene and I really clicked, and Lily and Alice became part of my life, once fashion designing and caring for others hit me.

It turned me, gave me better thoughts than how bad I slept at night, gave me friends, family really, and then you lot came along. Last time I thought of suicide was a few days ago actually." Aries explained.

"That's what you think about when you come out here?" Remus asked hesitantly as she sat down in the lightly damp grass.

"Among other things." She giggled lightly, "I'm not as depressing as it sounds." Aries added. "I come out here to think about my life, where I'll be in a few years. I think about school and how well I've been doing. I think about...well...I've thought about you, thought about us. Then I relax and enjoy the cool air, the scenery. Mostly I enjoy looking up at the star in the sky. Sometimes even try to count how many there are." Aries finished.

Remus saw her eyes glitter when she spoke about her truths, her lies, when she laughed slightly and when she looked like he was holding back tears. He listened to her as if she was reading the most fascinating book to him. Remus was more than just a listener, though. He understood and related, gave advise and showed respect.

"You know, as much as my little rants are fun, you're awfully quiet." Aries noted as she looked back to him, he was already looking back at her.

"I like to listen. It's just a bonus that I get to listen to someone so beautiful."

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Happy 4th of July!!