safe with me

one

i'm not going anywhere
; tw cutting and mention of suicide

yang jeongin sat on the edge of his bed that is messy just as he is.

in his hands he held very carefully the green packaging that contained lines of sharp blades. he swore to himself never to cut again, but with what he just found out, it was hard not to.

his long time friend who he left back in busan when they were forced to move here in seoul, was found dead when he took his own life by hanging.

he made a promise to visit for the funeral even though his parents wouldn't let him. he has to. he needs to.

jeongin couldn't cry anymore and all he was left to feel was plain numbness. with a swift flick he removed the lid of the container and took out one long blade, not caring that his fingers were slashed already by its sharpness.

"you promised me you'd wait until i get back," he mumbled to himself with voice drenched in pure and utter pain.

and just like that. he drag the blade along his soft, milk skin, causing a thick line of blood to appear. it stained his white shirt all the while dripping down his sweats.

jeongin didn't flinch not one bit. he was used to the pain it brought, it had become pleasure for him at this point. he lazily shut his eyes, throwing his head back as the blade continue to graze his wrist.

"chan you piece of shit." then the tears came and he couldn't control himself anymore. he covered his eyes as loud, excruciating sobs coming from his quivering mouth.

"you fucking promised!" the blade was flung across the room as he continued to throw what he could touch. blood staining his sheets and tiles.

he couldn't help himself, and throwing things weren't enough for him. it came to the point where he punched the brick walls repeatedly until his knuckles were bruised and stained with blood.

his whole apartment floor could probably hear everything, but he couldn't care less.

then suddenly a series of hard knocks came from his main door and he wasn't planning on answering it, but it became louder and he thought maybe it was the guard who received many complains about him again.

jeongin didn't bother on cleaning himself, he didn't care if he looked like he's just murdered someone with how bloody he is right now.

he trudged to the door and with zero emotions left and open it. stood outside his apartment was not the guard, in fact it's someone who he didn't know.  

an emotion spark inside of jeongin as his eyes were captivated by the boy who stood in front of him. an emotion he didn't know was possible to feel.

hwang hyunjin was stood only in his sweats and nothing more, looking at the stranger with a rather pissed look.

but as soon as his eyes landed on the bruises on his knuckles and blood the blue haired boy was covered in, his expression softened almost immediately.

"are you okay?" was the first words he had uttered to the fragile looking boy. jeongin was touched by his concern, but he remained emotionless, managing to mask his feelings ever so perfectly.

"yea." and with that bland, cold reply, he closed the door shut. or at least he attempted to, because just as he thought he could go on and slam the door right to the blonde's face, he stuck his foot successfully stopping it from happening.

to jeongin's surprise,  hyunjin went inside and close the door by slamming his back on it. the room was dark and cold from all the huge windows he failed to close.

both of them were stood facing each other with only an inch of space, heavy breathing came from them and that was the only thing they could hear.

"please leave." jeongin whispered and for a moment there, it showed how utterly vulnerable he was. the elder? he noticed it all.

hyunjin took a step closer to the small one in front of him. even he didn't know why he was doing this, hell he didn't even know who he's stood in front of.

but he was aware that he wanted to stay for this boy. even just for a night, because he knows something is awfully wrong.

"let me see-"

"i don't need your fucking help!"

he was shocked when jeongin suddenly shouted, voice breaking painfully and tears streaming down his face once more.

"just leave..please."

the blonde stared at the bloodied wrists and a series of traumatic flashbacks went back to his mind, but he tried shaking the thoughts away.

"i don't mean no harm.." he whispered gently, locking eyes with jeongin who could barely see with the tears fogging his vision. "i'm not going to hurt you."

his own heart was breaking because of the boy he barely even knew. he's been in this exact situation before, and he knows how this ends.

i don't know who the fuck you are, but i know what all of this will end up to. i've witnessed this before and i'm not going to let what happened to my mother happen to you.

"i'm sorry but i'm not going anywhere" although he was hesitant because of what the younger may do, hyunjin closed their distance and held on his wrist. "let's get you cleaned up."