safe with me

twenty seven

no one compares

hwang hyunjin had the younger in his arms as they sleep until 9 in the morning. with changbin and the events from last night, the two were exhausted no doubt. as soon as the older left them alone, he collapsed into hyunjin's arm because of how long it took to clean his cuts and how tired the fight left him. the older still have questions about jeongin and changbin dating back then but he decided it wasn't best to ask right now.

"hyun." he heard the younger whimper from beside him, his eyes still closed. jeongin's face looked like he was having nightmares again and it concerned the older. "hyunjin don't.. don't leave." hyunjin shut his eyes painfully, immediately pulling the younger closer as he wrap his arms around him very protectively. the older was saddened to see that even in his sleep he dreams of him leaving.

"shh innie it's just a bad dream. i could never leave you." he whispered placing a light kiss on the sweating forehead of the younger. jeongin's face relaxed like he heard what hyunjin said and he began to drift off again without murmuring anymore. the older carried him so that he could sleep on top of him and he could constantly reassure him that he's here with just a caress and a peck.

eventually the older fell asleep too and in that moment there is nothing for them to worry about. hyunjin was content, more than content to think that the sleeping boy on top of him is his boyfriend. his world. his life. there was nothing good to live for before jeongin came along with his daughter akira. both of them gave him a reason to stay, a reason to believe that there's more than the world than just cruelty.

10 am rolled and the younger was still sore and in pain. from beside him he saw no sign of hyunjin and this usually means he was in the bathroom or he was in the balcony lighting a cigarette. jeongin hoped it wasn't the last one because he had already scolded the older more than once about smoking. he hated the thought of inhaling chemicals to 'forget' problems and just let loose. it just doesn't make sense to him.

"hyunjin!" he screamed and he was slightly startled when his voice came out scratchy. he cleared his throat and coughed for a few seconds. he really does need to take it slow when moaning in bed with how much voice he had lost. in just a few seconds the older came running to their room with a worried expression, in his finger a burning stick of cigarette. jeongin glared at him.

" what did I tell you?" he said in a stern tone, voice still cracking and sounding raspy which made the older laugh at him. jeongin loved it when he laughs because his eyes always seem to vanish into two thin lines, but he forced himself to stay somewhat stern with the older. "ok ok i'm sorry baby." hyunjin held up his hands in surrender and he went to dump the cigarette in the nearby ashtray on top of his desk, but before killing it he inhaled.

he then walked to the younger who had no idea what he was planning to do. hyunjin grab jeongin's face and placed a kiss on his lips, using his wet tongue to part open the younger's mouth. the blue haired boy whimper as a ragged breathe left his lips and then with a swift puff, the older exhaled the smoke into jeongin's mouth who didn't panic at all but instead shocked hyunjin when he inhaled and puffed out the smoke as well.

"so you do smoke. bad bad boy." the older chuckled, slightly amazed as he nibbled gently on jeongin's lips once more before leaning away. hyunjin loved the lingering scent of cigarettes in his younger. his two addictions in one. "well changbin taught me." jeongin admitted, lightly embarrassed. at the mention of that name, hyunjin tensed and suddenly the mood darkened.

"oh." was the only thing the older could say. "what else did he teach you." he added, his tone changing into a cold one. hyunjin hated that he knew exactly what changbin may have taught his younger. and he hated it even more that he was just hurting himself as he think jeongin's first wasn't him, but instead changbin.

"baby.. i'm sorry i didn't tell you about us immediately. i just think it wasn't necessary anymore since i'm not focused on him as much as i am with you. he doesn't matter anymore hyunjin." jeongin whispered, pulling the older to the bed so he could straddle his lap. the younger adjusted himself on top as he continue to talk, his fingers caressing hyunjin.

"i just think it's a bit unfair jeongin." the younger swallowed as he knows he only calls him his name when he's mad or upset. "we agreed on no secrets. we've been dating 3 whole years baby and in those years you haven't bothered to tell me about him." jeongin gently pulled his head to lay on his shoulder as he continued to massage his neck. hyunjin let out a small moan, the younger's fingers were hitting his sore spot. he knew exactly what he was doing.

"and to think that he was your." hyunjin inhaled sharply, as if he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud. "he was your first. it fucking pisses me off innie, it pains me to even think that." he finished, burying his head deeper into jeongin's neck. the younger accidentally grind when he was adjusting himself on top and this made hyunjin grunt, his hands immediately grabbing his waist to keep him steady.

he needs to control himself because he knows he can't fuck his younger when he's still in a weak state and he's still mad. jeongin would just end up in the hospital.

"hyun it doesn't matter if he took my first. it wasn't as euphoric as when you were the one doing it to me. it wasn't as addicting." he whimpered a his eyes shut, sliding his hands down the back of the older who has breathing very heavily. "you'll always be better than him, than anyone. no one could compare to you jinnie."