Dirty Deeds || Kim Hongjoong x FemReader

Forget-Me-Nots

I get Hongjoong some damn tissues and shove it up his nose.

He protests for me to come back as I leave to shower myself before I get covered in hair dye.

In the shower, I'm either hallucinating or there's a lot of blood washing off me.

Red blood mixed with water washes off me in waves. It makes me shiver even though the water is hot.

All I can think about is the sudden changes in Hongjoong's demeanor that I've seen all today. First all protective over his team and home. Like damn, never seen him do that. Then he went back to that soft side I've started getting used to. And then back to that fire. I never thought someone like him could be so, twisted when it comes to his actions in that formerly sterile interrogation room.

And me being stupid for him, kinda liked the way he some of that. The way he was there by my side each time and made sure I was ok. Nobody, except Haneul has invested themselves in me that much. And this time, he's proven nothing but genuine.

I punch the wall of the shower out of confusion and frustration, forgetting it's also concrete. 

"FUUUCK!" I yell out at my knuckles that sting and burn and ache and all sorts of pain.

Now my knuckles are red and blue and white. 

And that brings me back to where I'm faced with and unwanted memory from shortly before I left my childhood home.

"You're leaving and that's final!" My mother screamed at me.

My dad was pacing around the kitchen, careful about every word he speaks and every breath he takes.

"I won't be sent away like a burden. You chose to have yet another child, so I'll stick around and remind you of that." I yelled back fury fueling my voice.

"It's for your own good, Y/N! Why can't you accept that?"

"But it's not. It's so you can be free with your murdering and your drugs and guns and whatever other shit you do. It's so you can forget about the daughter that fails to see the world like you do. So I won't be associated with the great Min Family and their dynasty."

I acted each word I yelled out with my hands and my face, but making sure never to take my eyes off my parents.

"With an attitude like this, yes we want to get rid of you." My dad speaks more softly, but it hurts even more.

Of all the things they said to me, that hurt the most. They just admitted to wanting to never remember I was a living human person created through them. They'd told me I'd failed them. They'd told me I was ruining their image, but never had they said that I should be gone and forgotten like fallen leaves in the autumn.

"You leave tomorrow." My father spoke again and both my parents left me alone in my room.

I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of doing things the way they want.

For about an hour, I sat on the floor of my room, sobbing. Then I punched a light bulb that got glass stuck in my knuckles and it all changed.

I grabbed a small bag that night, filled it with the essentials, and fled. Leaving nothing but a note that read "FUCK YOU" and some stray forget-me-not flowers spread throughout my room.

I would not give them the satisfaction of ridding me themselves and being able to forget about me. This way, leaving of my own volition, they would know I was still out there somewhere, likely plotting their demise. 

Coming back to reality, I towel dried my hair and put on some dark looser clothing that I didn't care if it got hair dye in it or not.

I look up in the mirror. Damn, I look tired. My face looks sunken, my eyes dark and hollow.