Dirty Deeds || Kim Hongjoong x FemReader

What's up, Doc?

I sit in Yeosang's office like room, my leg tapping violently on the tiled floor. 

Yeosang is pacing around his room, flipping through papers he has clipped to a clipboard. Every few seconds he'll mark something down on one of the pages or mutter something to himself. I think he's going through some medical records. They might be mine. I showed up, knocked on his door, and he told me to just sit and wait for him to see me.

I've been here for a few minutes now. He has a pencil tucked behind his ear and a pen twirling in his hand. He seems worried about whatever it is he's looking at.

He finally sets the papers down messily on his desk and turns to me. "What brings you into my office?" He pauses and holds up a hand. "No, I will not assist your sex life in any way."

I blink out my confusion and my mouth hangs open. "Well, I'll set things straight that I will never come to you for that."

He nods his approval.

"I need help with me."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you trained in psychiatry?"

"Yes. Why?"

My hands twist with each other and I look down at the floor. Getting to the point of getting help really is the hardest part. Why does my mouth feel so dry? Maybe this was a bad idea? I'm just too sensitive and over emotional right now. I'm okay. I don't need help.

I must've been lost in my head for a bit too long because I hear Yeosang speaking again. "Y/N, is there something going on you want to talk to me about?"

I nod. Then I shake my head. And nod again. "I don't know. I think this is more of a me problem and my head just being weird."

"Y/N, you can just talk about what is going on in your head. I might be able to help." Yeosang pulls his rolly chair up to where I'm sitting and braces his hands on his knees.

With a deep breath, I begin to open up about all my worries and doubts and fears and every little bit of shit that's keep going on in my head. Yeosang nods and asks little questions in between, keeping me talking. I can tell he's taking note of what I'm saying and being all doctor-y about it. He's probably going to tell me I have something wrong going on in me. By the time I'm done, my hands are shaking and sweaty and my cheeks are wet.

Yeosang hands me some tissues and clears his throat. "It's no doubt you've suffered from a lot of abuse and trauma. And because of all that I think even you can notice that you're anxious."

I sniffle and nod.

"What I'm seeing in you is anxiety, minor PTSD and depression. All of these can be treated by you, working on yourself and keeping yourself in a more positive state of mind as well as medication."

"I've made it this far like this so I think I'm all good."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but since everyone else is such a pussy, Y/N, you're not doing well. Hongjoong has asked up to keep our eyes on you, to make sure you're okay, that you're not alone too often."

"He did that?"

"Yes. You wake up from nightmare and you're constantly worrying about the worst to come. You're blaming it all on yourself and invalidating your own pain. You need to accept that these things are happening, that what's to come will come and that you can get better."

"I feel... different after having talked to someone." I admit under my breath.

"Talking to anyone, opening up is the hardest part of someone suffering from a mental illness. Everything else comes a lot easier. Not saying it will be easy, you've got a long way to go, especially with how fucked up you are, but you can get better."