*****Dinah's POV******
We got ally home right after that terrible show, and the poor girl cried the entire ride home. It was a great thing she had Troy with her now, cause his corny jokes always made her smile. "Hey babe, what do you do after you swipe your card?" he asked, and she giggled. "Stop it, ya dork" she said, gently slapping his chest and laying her head on his shoulder. That was just part of all the cute stuff like that.
It made me a little upset though, cause I couldn't even get that close to Camila right now. I loved her....but I was just scared. In fact, I was actually on the bus with my aunt, and having our first consoling session now. "Now Dinah, I have one question before we begin" my aunt Karen said. "Tell me everything. You have to be completely honest with me and yourself" she said, and I nodded. "Good, let's begin".
I laid back in my chair, my hands resting in my lap. "I want you to close your eyes Dinah. Tell me Dinah, what are you afraid of?" she asked. I closed my eyes, seeing nothing but blackness. "I want you to reach deep into the corners of your mind, and think hard. What things worry you?" At first, I saw nothing."I'm not getting anything, Aunt Karen". "Think back, what's the first thing that comes up. Where does your breaking points begin".
I closed my eyes tighter, and then I saw it. It started playing in my head over again:
"This is beautiful Dinah" she beamed, looking around the lit up town. "I want to take you out Brookie, away from all the drama" I said, squeezing her hand a little tighter. We walked around the city, taking in it's beauty as the sun slowly started setting. "I've never seen anything more beautiful" she awed. "Then you haven't looked in the mirror lately" I said shyly, and she giggled. We made it to our destination on the hill that overlooked the city, and we had our picnic. But now that was over.
"No" I said, and I felt my palms start sweating. "What do you see Dinah?" my aunt asked. "He's gonna kill her. I don't wanna watch this again" I cried, but she just shushed me. "You have to feel the pain before you can truly let it go" she said calmly, and I could hear her writing things down.
I walked her down to the streets, where we were about to walk home. "You're gonna be late, Dinah. You can't get grounded baby" she said, kissing my cheek. I stopped her and wrapped my arm around her waist, putting my forehead up against hers. "But I just wanna stay here, hold you, and love you" I whispered, our lips brushing against each other. "I love you so much Dinah" she whispered. "I love you too".
"Please, don't make me relive this" I cried, feeling tears stream down my face. "I know it hurts sweetheart, it's gonna get easier. Let it play out" she said calmly. "I can't! I can't do this again" I cried harder. "You are strong Dinah, you can" she said, "Now, let it play out".
I looked into her eyes deeply, refusing to look away. I leaned forward and gently taking her face in my hands. When we pulled away, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. She turned us and we looked at the sun setting. Arms wrapped around each other. Her head resting on my shoulder. "I love you Dinah, so much" she whispered, and I felt a tear fall onto my shoulder as she put her hand in the crook of my neck. "I love you too" I said back, pulling her a little closer. And then the gun went off and she was screaming in pain.
She cried out loudly as her knees started to cave in, but I held her up. "No, Brooke!" I cried, scooping her into my arms. I started to run and look for help, but running made her scream more. "Dinah. Stop babe. It's gonna be okay" she said calmly, putting her hand on my face. "Sit down sweetheart" she said, and I slowly sat down in the grass with her in my lap.
"I'm dying Dinah. I need you to let me go" she said in a low voice. "No, no that's not gonna happen. You're gonna be fine. Let me just get you help" I said, trying to stand up again. "Dinah. Spend this time with me" she said, and I sat back down. "I don't want you to go" I cried, holding her tightly to me. "I'm going to a good place Dinah. I'll be safe and happy and be thinking about you everyday" she said with a small smile on her face. "Hold me one last time" she said.
We sat there and talked a little bit, thinking about the good times. All this time, I could have been getting her help, but she told me not to. "He'll just come back, and he'll hurt you too. I'm not letting that happen" she said every time I asked her.
"I-I'm so cold Dinah" she whispered so quietly. I took my jacket off and draped it over her shoulders.Her breaths started to get shorter and her eyes starting closing. "I love you" I whispered, and she said it back. I could tell she was in pain, so I decided to take her mind off of it. "Look at that sunset babygirl" I said quietly. "As long as that rises and sets, I will always love you" I whispered, kissing her temple. She watched it until the sky turned dark....and then she was gone.
I looked down at her face, but I gasped at what I saw. I didn't see Brooke...but Camila.
I shot up from the chair, gasping for air. "Dinah. Dinah, it's okay" my aunt said, holding my hand. "She was gone, she was gone" I repeated over and over. "Who?" I had no idea what to say. "It was Brooke...and then it was Camila" I said as I looked into my lap. I looked up at my aunt and said, "I'm afraid". "Of what, Dinah?"
"I'm afraid to lose her again".
Sorry guys. I know this was probably boring, but I wanted to take you through the process a little bit. The pain is the hardest part of recovery. But if you let it all out, you should never cry for the same reason again.
